HELP!! What do I say??

Question

I am sorry this is probably the wrong section but this section tends to have a lot of traffic..

I found out from a friend(Shawn) today that a mutual friend passed away (Regina)yesterday... I want to call today her family but I am scared, but also don't know how to start it off once someone answers. Since the family contacted Shawn about her passing away and not me, do I "ask" for Regina" or do I tell them that Shawn told me? I think Regina got the wrong impression that our friendship wasn't really good anymore because my life had gotten much more busier then it had in the past and we went from talking almost daily to months in between...it wasn't that I didn't like her anymore it just that there were complications trying to get together so we didn't see each other so it got to the point in my life that it was harder to keep in contact with people that weren't involved in my daily life. I just grew up and life got in the way...I thought that was normal.

Anyways do I tell them that Shawn told me or do I let them retell me that she passed away since they weren't the ones that contacted me? I was planning on calling today and saying hi before I knew about this.

Answer 1

When you call be honest.  They won't want to rehash the whole ordeal.  Just tell them Shawn told you what happened, offer your condolences and ask if there's anything you can help with (food, arrangements, etc).

Answer 2

Just be like "Shawn told me what happened, I am so sorry for your loss" then go on to comfort them a bit about the loss.. ask about funeral arrangements etc. And don't be scared, you have every right to the visitation and the funeral, if you were infact a friend of hers. Her family will not have a problem with it in my opinion.

Answer 3

Call and give your condolences. Its not a big mystery.. You don't need to get descriptive about how you found out. I am sure they will say thank you and either say something about it or not.

Answer 4

I would call and say, "I am so sorry I just heard about the loss of Regina.  We were really good friends that over the last few months just lost touch. Is there anything I can do for you during this hard time?" If they want to chit chat then talk just don't mention where you heard it unless they ask.  Good luck and I am so sorry for your loss.

Answer 5

call and tell them you were sorry to hear of reginas passing and if there is anything you can do, give them your number and tell them to call you if needed.

they will not even worry about who told you, that is the last thing on their mind.

the funeral & visitation and obituarary should be in the paper, so you can go to one of those if you like. i would not even worry about telling them you talked to anyone or anything like that. people find out things like this so fast, nobody even knows where it starts. i wouldn't worry no more about it, and call them soon so you will feel a little better., everyone gets busy, but no one knows when death will happen.

Answer 6

it would be best to attend in person. calling is just impersonal i feel. or if you cant send a plant or flowers for the funeral. it doesn't matter how you found out. just let the family know that they are in your thoughts.

Answer 7

I don't think they would care who told you. When my mom passed away I had people call me that never called before. When someone answers the phone start off by saying I am so sorry to hear about Regina. Make sure that you tell them if there is any thing they need to you to do or any way help to let you know.