HELP!! What do i do now?

Question

ok my fiance and i have run into financial issues, so his mom and grandfather has stepped in and starting helping us, well our venue isn't available on our date so we are having to move it up to october which only gives us 2 months of paychecks to do it all, well i asked his mom to go ahead and get us the venue and my dad would pay her back the money but all she did was complain and said no ( even though she is the one who is pushing us to hurry up and do it) and on top of that we have had to buy a new washer and dryer b/c both of ours got ruined so that just took $800 out of the wedding...

so what do i do? how do i tell his family that if they dont get everything else then we are gonna have to wait till next year?

i dont want to be rude and disrespectful either...

Answer 1

The wedding curmudgeon speaks.

This is why I really don't like big weddings. Too many cooks are spoiling the soup.

OK so tell your respective families about the money situation and ask them for help or their patience - or their help AND their patience.

And tell your mother to back the heck off the push push push to get married.

Or elope.

Answer 2

I feel like I am in a similar situation with my wedding which is about a month away. Money is tight everywhere with everybody on both sides of the family and we have two very young children. Your wedding is not suppose to be a bad experiance, and money has a tendency to do that. I had to move my wedding twice due to money, but I believe we will be able to pull it off this time around. Just make sure the first year of married life isnt going to be stressful because of money. Money is the biggest thing tearing couples apart, right along side of cheating. You dont want your relationship to be over before it starts. So if YOU feel you can foot the bill and still live comfortably, go for it girl. But if you have any doubts that this will be a problem down the road, then wait. But I think it has to be your call at this point. Dont let you or his family intimidate you. If you cant do it, you cant do it, and they need to understand the money situation. This is your wedding, not yours and everybody elses. You do whatever YOU want to do, and nobody else..

Answer 3

Here's a rule when it comes to wedding planning--BE FLEXIBLE!

You have your heart set on a venue, but it's not available for the date you want.  So, you either change the date OR find another venue.  Considering you don't have the money, I would seriously sit back and re-think your plan and what's important to you.  You may need to scale down a bit or consider changing your date/venue.

Answer 4

Tell everyone you need another year to save given the siutation and 2 months is way too much of a rush on you!

Answer 5

I would wait until next year and do it right.  Why is his mother pushing you to get married?

This is supposed to be an exciting, happy time in your life, don't let anyone ruin it for both you!

Answer 6

You don't tell them anything. You let your fiance, their son, handle it with your father.

If they're going to be paying temporarily until your father pays them back then your dad and his mom should arrange it. This way you're out of the picture a bit, but be involved.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Have you ever thought that you are planning a wedding you can't afford?  Aren't you a little embarrassed to have people chucking money at you because you can't live within your means?  How about going to the laundromat for a few months?  

What is left in the "everything else" you mentioned?  It seems like you are holding out for the best wedding rather than being married.  Why do you have to have "everything else"?  Just get the basics and call it quits.  Or elope.  By saying "if you don't get me all I want, then I'm not getting married......well, at least until later" it makes you sound like a spoiled little kid.  You already live together.  Your mother-in-law just wants you to get married so you're finally not just living together anymore.  Be glad she wants you in the family sooner rather than later.  

Answer 8

Going in marriage in debt is not a great way to start the rest of your life.

Point blank, you can't afford the wedding you want right now so either change the venue or push the wedding date back. She should understand that.

Answer 9

thats called a sign babe yet until next year

Answer 10

It's your wedding, so do what you want to do!  Push back the wedding date to next year if you want.  

Oh, and I know it sucks, but you could always wait on the washer/dryer.  You can do your laundry at the laundromat for a couple months.  :-)

Answer 11

Way more trouble than it's worth.  You two should elope and have a party at a later date.  Your family can all pitch in for the party, or better yet, pitch in and help you two put a down payment on a house!  

It's not worth the hassle, as the chances of you kids staying married are less than 1/2.  It's a statistical fact.  I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 12

This is your wedding!  Don't let anyone force you into getting married any sooner than you are ready to - especially if you're going to have to foot the bill.  Explain to them that you simply can't afford it right now & that you'd like to wait until you can.  Even if they throw money at you, then can't make you sign a contract for any vendor or venue, or make you walk down any aisle until you are good & ready!