HELP finding biological mother?

Question

i was adopted right away when i was a baby. i've always been so curious about my birth mother but i have no idea where to start on the path of finding her. the only information i have is the documents/adoption papers and stuff my adoptive parents keep. other than what that says i have nothing. i really can't tell my adoptive parents that i wanna find my "real" mother, they'd be too hurt. they of course got my birth certificate made so that it says the name they gave me, but it does say the place i was born, so i do have that info. i know my mother's first name, the hospital & city i was born in, some background info on my mom and that's it. i was thinking i could possibly contact the adoption agency but idk what info they could give me (i'm only 16) and idk if they would tell my adoptive parents that i was asking for this info. do you have to be 18 for all the information to be given to you? i'm assuming mine was a closed adoption but idk. help please??

Answer 1

you can call the adoption agency but make sure that they have a confidentiality agreement where they cant tell you adoptive parents they have records on that stuff that they have to keep once you get the info on your mother you can write her call her etc

Answer 2

Just try talking to your parents.If ther is any possibility it was open or semi open they might have some pictures or a letter for you. As a birth mother I know the couple I placed with have that info even though we are no longer in contact .Tell your mom and dad what you told us .Im sure they will be understanding of your curiousity. Its part of the adoption process for them to know tha you might be wanting to search one day.Although for anything else you need to be 18

Answer 3

ADOPTION.COM - you have the info you need. Date and hospital. Unfortunately you will have to wait till you're 18, it won't allow entries before 18 years ago today.

Hospitals promote services to reunite so she may have /be registered - unless your birth mother does not want to be contacted - you need to be prepared to face that too!

I am a birthmother and I have been registered for the last couple of years. Guess what, I found my son.

If you can't wait then talk to your parents - they will understand - you're adopted - there are parts of you that they can't understand - you have a bond with your birthmother that only she can fill. You're not looking to replace your adoptive parents - just meet your mom. If you do find her - which I hope you do - don't be affraid to ask questions - she had 18 years to think about them -

Answer 4

Long shot but I would go to the hospital and tell them that you were born on so and so date if they could please tell you the names of the babies born that day or records of your birth. you may be able to say you needed to know what blood type you were or any medical complications during labor.  they prob wont give out infor like moms name but if you get a last name from you birth name it would be astart

Answer 5

I was adopted when I was an infant as well and just last May I decided I was ready to start looking for my birth parents. I had the same information that you do but I never had to really rely on it. I google my own name (do your birth name if it is different than it is now) and I found entries at www.adoption.com as well as other adoption sites. I also stumbled across a website that my birth sister made looking for me. I couldn't believe it happened like that. When I called my sister I let her give me all the information that she told me, when that matched up with mine I mailed a copy of my B.C. and emailed pics of myself as a baby to verify that I had the right people. Try google or ask.com to find adoption sites, you never know, they might be looking for you too. I wish you the very best of luck and let us know if you do find them!

Answer 6

Im adopted as well but on my paapers it has name and all but I found out until you are 18 or 21 in some areas you dont have any right to the papers or info. And also if the biological parents opt out to want you to ever contact them they can choose not to update the adoption agency or even refuse to have you ever know of them. I am now 20 and I have gotten first name last name siblings names state last reisided in but I havent acted onto it. And my adopted mother knows I was interested in the topic. I also got to keep the name that my mother given me at birth. You also have to worry about records being destroyed in an accident or anything. Cause thats what happened to mine.. A water break in the basement where they kept the old records. Sooo you have to wait unless you want to question the rents about ur birth mother...

Answer 7

Firstly, you need to be 18 to do much at all.  But; even after that, there are restrictions placed on adopted citizens that are not placed on non-adopted citizens.

Only 6 states in the U.S. allow adult adopted citizens the right to access the original and factual records of their own births without restriction.  The other 44 states have various restrictions, ranging from not too difficult  to near impossible.  If you were adopted in Oregon, Alabama, Kansas, Alaska or New Hampshire, you can access your birth record as an adult (18 years old except in Oregon, where it's 21 years old.)  In Maine, you will be able to do this at 18 years old starting January of 2009.

As far as contacting the adoption agency or the hospital, even as an adult you are unlikely to get any identifying information.  Hospital workers have been known to immediately cut off discussion with a person regarding these matters as soon as they find out that the person is adopted.  The state and that adoption agency are both required, however, to give you non-identifying information about your natural parents.  You may request this when you are 18.

There are also registries for people who are searching, but you need to be 18 to use them.  The largest and best active registry can be found at http://www.isrr.net.  It is the International Soudex Reunion Registry.

Answer 8

What state are you from? In most states an adoptee can find out non-identifying info at the age of 18 and identifying info at the age of 21. So to get much more information, you will most likely have to wait 5 more years. I know.. it sucks.

You should ask your parents if they know any other information other than what you already know, without telling them that you want to find you biological mother. Its possible they know stuff they haven't thought to tell you.

Also, relook over any stuff you have and you might be surprised by what you find.

I was adopted and my mom made this scrapbook with EVERYTHING she had related to my birthmother and I used to look over it over and over again and it wasn't until I was 17 that I found information that helped me find her.

Good luck!

Answer 9

To do the search you have to be 18, but you can start the research now.  

I recommend these folks for search help (as well as other adoption issues):

http://pacer-adoption.org/

Answer 10

No US state will help you until you're at least 18 and in some its even 21. What state are you searching in?