HELP! problem w/ my 8 year old son!!?

Question

Hi

Well, my son is almost 9 and he has always been a back-talker, but it seems lately it is getting much much worse! The old punishments dont seem to work anymore (taking away his games, etc..) and I dont really want to have to resort to spanking. Everything with him is an argument! And when he doesnt argue he is grumbling and always cranky about doing stuff I ask him to do. It is driving me bonkers! he has ADHD and has always been kind of a grumpy kid (even as a baby)

but I really dont know how to effectively parent him.. Has anyone had any experience with difficult children, and if so, whats the best method to stop the back talk and help him control his grumpiness/ attitude problem?

I have on many occasions tried reasoning with him so he'll feel respected and at the time it seems like it would work, but he turns around and does it again! I love him so much and I just want to be a good mom.. pls help!

Answer 1

be a little bit tougher to him but don't change how you are but take more control of the situation

Answer 2

often with add a child can have ODD so I would talk to the doctor about that. Some of it is just normal for the age stuff. When my son continues to talk back he is sent for time out.

Answer 3

my sister has kids and she's the same way as you, won't lay a finger on them and they have horrible attitude

so yeah, I'd say spank them, not beating, just a smack every now and then. remember, you're suppose to be a "mother" not a friend, which means being strict and teach them between right and wrong.

besides, when they become teenagers, well, imagine all the stuff that was going on when you were in your teens, plus what others in your school used to do.

There's no saving them, all you can do is cope and hope that they'll end up in the right path.

Answer 4

I have two sons are ADHD.  I know you don't want to spank, but this may be best your bet if you are looking for a 180 behavior turn around.  This is how I would approach it:

1) Give a warning first.  Explain the action that was wrong and let him know what will happen the next time.

2) No warning here, take the child by the arm, (he will fight you) bare his bottom and secure him.  Give him a good 5 or 6 swats until he is crying and promising to be good.

3) Sit him down, tell him you lvoe and let him knows this is what happens when he's naughty from now on.

It works like a charm.

Answer 5

One thing I always trying to remember is that there is never really a winner in an argument. At the very least, time and energy is being wasted. This sounds like a very difficult situation. Have you tried just ignoring it. I know it might seem odd but by not giving him attention he may naturally cease the action. Other than that, I can only suggest more repetition of explaining why it is wrong.