Question:

HELP <span title="ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!">ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...</span>

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Well, I have these two friends-Shana and Hayden(not real names), and they have been fighting. See, they are in High School-Hayden a Senior, Shana a Junior-and well they used to go out, but then they broke up, and it was a big, dramatic thing, but they were still friends. Then, she started going out with this guy Ken (not real name), and I guess Hayden just got really mad. So, yesterday we just got back from church camp in Florida, and they were fighting all week. We got on the bus, and Shana was way in the back, and Hayden sat behind me, and he said that he only hated two people on the bus, and one of them was Shana. That made me really sad. Then, we got to camp, and she started telling me all these things that he had said to her, like when she started talking to him at the beach, he said DON'T TALK TO ME and then she said that she just wanted him to be her friend, and he said MAKE NEW FRIENDS. She cried for a long time after that. But, she put on her happy face, so he diddn't know how bad she felt. She kept coming back to me all week with things, and I kept just telling her I was praying for her-which I was. I was asking God to help their relationship and to mend their hearts-His, which was broken by their break-up and then hardened out of spite- and Hers, which was broken by his spite, and hardened by the spite as well. So, she came up to me and said that he told her that he wasn't trying to be a *** he was just kinda mad. And that he wanted to be her friend. But, then, he still said things that provoked her-which this is where I thought she was wrong, things were provoking her way too easily- and things were akward between them. So, I slipped him a note that said something like I'M NOT GOING TO TRY AND INTERFERE, I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW I'M GLAD YOU AND SHANA ARE WORKING THINGS OUT. I then left it alone. But then, on the bus, Shana sat in a seat near me, and I was alone, but then Hayden came on and had nowhere to sit, so I invited him to sit by me without even thinking about Shana's feelings. (great friend, aren't I?) Well, she started talking about him to me, in a quiet voice, and then, I heard from behind me IF YOU'RE GONNA TALK ABOUT ME, AT LEAST DO IT WHERE I CAN'T HEAR YOU. Well, I got a sick feeling right about then, wondering if I'd said something that could damage our friendship. I froze. I couldn't even breathe, none the less turn around. But then Shana and Hayden started arguing literally putting me right in the middle. Hayden started cussing Shana out (he'd been trying to stop cursing so much, ever since he'd been coming to youth group, but that plan apparently blew), and saying things like I DIDN'T WANT TO HAVE THIS OUT IN PUBLIC BECAUSE IT WOULD BE AKWARD, BUT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT, LET'S HAVE IT. And then I started to cry. Neither of them noticed. I dried my eyes and looked at Shana, who was still trying to talk to me about it and I told her I'M NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE, BUT CAN WE PLEASE NOT TALK ABOUT THIS?!!!! She saw the tears that were reapearing to my eyes and said SURE. So, I turn back sittitng forwards in my seat, just looking striaght ahead at one of the TV's in front of me (we were on a charter bus, with TV's that had movies on the whole 16 hour drive), when I felt Hayden tap me on the leg and asked if I was ok. I shook my head no. He said SORRY and asked why not. I said BEACUSE I LOVE YOU BOTH AND YOU GUYS ARE MAKING IT HARD FOR ME TO LOVE EITHER OF YOU! There came those stupid tears again. I wiped them, and ignored him until we got home. I excepted his apology when we got there, but things are still weird-most likely due to the fact that I'ma fairly calm person and that outburst of mine freaked them both out, and I don't know what my question is, just wanting input. And please, not curse words. I don't need any more of those. Thanks in advance for your input. I hope you guys can help me. (AND YES, I KNOW THAT THIS IS IN THE WRONG CATAGORY, BUT NO ONE ANSWERED ME THERE, SO I THOUGHT I'D COME HERE...HELP?!!!)

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  1. too long to even read make it more shorter maybe ppl will answer


  2. ok phew..where do i start...first i want to say that you seem like a very compassionate nice and understanding person who is sensitive...these are all fine qualities however sometimes in life some people see  that and use it to their advantage...you&#039;re all young and this type of thing may happen again..you just have to stand your ground when people try to put you in the middle.....don&#039;t do it...you were smart to say that you weren&#039;t their referee...don&#039;t be...they need to accept the fact that they have broken up and life goes on..thats why its called dating..you date til you find the one you want to be with forever...unfortunately friends come and go and once you&#039;re done with high school and step out into the real world...you may not be friends with them any longer..so worry about yourself....you sound real smart and mature though.....tell them like you did that you care very much for both of them but you will not be their &quot;sandwich&quot;!...they need to stay away from each other for awhile...its too tough to break up and then try to be friends....thats all right for people who divorce and try to be friends for their kids....but being so young its too soon ...too raw to try and stay friends right away...sometimes you have to let old wounds heal for awhile,,..soon enough they will both have different dates and try not to hurt each other once they can move on...but in the meantime explain that THEY broke up but you didn&#039;t with them and tell them not to make you the  person in between...like to deliver messages or complain constantly about the other...tell them your friendships with them were not about that...that you have other things to discuss...and if they don&#039;t stop..then you need to take a little break from them too....do not get in the middle...but you told the all the right stuff...now back up your words with action...and if you used to always go out together well now you&#039;ll just have to alternate....sounds like a lot of work...good luck

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