HOW DO I TELL SOMEONE I DON'T WANT THEM IN MY WEDDING

Question

I HAVE A PERSON AS A BRIDESMAID THAT I WOULD REALLY NOT LIKE TO BE THERE. I WANT TO SPARE HER FEELINGS BUT I REALLY DON'T WANT TO HAVE HER INVOLVED LIKE THAT.SHE KINDA INVOLVED HERSELF AND SAID SHE WAS GOING TO BE IN IT.SO HOW DO I TELL HER WITHOUT COMPLETELY HURTING HER?

Answer 1

How can she just involve herself in "your" wedding without your consent...just tell her that you have already pre planned who you want in your wedding.

Answer 2

Tell her you have enough people already and it won't even out if she participates.

Answer 3

tell her you have changed some plans for the wedding, and then tell her

Answer 4

Let her know that you've already settled on your bridal party, but ask her if she could do a reading or pass out the programs, or be involved in something else. If you don't even want her doing those things, then just let her know your party is already accounted for.

Answer 5

If you didnt agree for her to be in it,shes not in it,than.

Answer 6

Honesty is the best policy but maybe, in this case, a little white lie could be in order. Explain that your wedding plan is less formal than you expected and you won't be needing this many attendants or that you have more family you need to include...etc. Or, you can go all out honest and tell her that you;re sorry if she misunderstood but you haven't actually asked her to be a bridesmaid and you have already committed to other family members.

Answer 7

Explain to her that you and your fiance have already discussed the amount of people in your bridal party and if you add her you'll need to add another groomsmen  and that's not a possibility. Let her know that you'd still like her to share the day with you as a guest and that you appreciate her wanting to help and let her know that because "she's such a good person" you appreciate that she will be there if you do need any help with the planning. Or give her a small task to help with. A reading either at church or if you're having a non-religious ceremony a poem. A toast at the reception. Name cards etc. etc. She'll feel important but won't be in the way. If she is a good friend she'll understand. It's you and your future husband/partner's day, not hers. Also explain to her the financial responsibilities on both her and your part of being a bridesmaid. Remember to thank her for wanting to be so involved.  

Answer 8

Ok well...I would normally suggest that being honest is the best way to go about it but there's probably going to be no 'nice' way of telling her. At the same time, you shouldn't be feeling obligated to have her as your bridesmaid. Is there some other job that you could give her to do on the day so that she is doing something helpful without actually being a bridesmaid?  

Answer 9

She must be a friend if you were even considering letting her be in it. If she hasn't start paying for her dress and shoes and things then she shouldn't be too mad because no money is lost. Just sit her down alone and say I don't want you to be mad at me or anything but I don't think if it's a good idea if your in my wedding!!