Had a baby 4 weeks ago but unable to travel, is this right?

Question

I have an acquaintence who had her first baby 4 weeks ago, she had a natural birth. I have spoken to her on the phone and she talks of taking the baby out every day, seeing family, friends calling in to visit etc but says she is 'not up to it' when I asked her if she'd visited her grandma to show her the baby. Her grandma is in a home and is wheelchair bound and not very well physically at all. 4 weeks after the birth of a baby are you 'back on your feet' as it were,I can understand you would not be after a caesarean but how about a natural birth? Is she making excuses? To me it seems that she doesn't want to see her grandma, she sees her as an irritating duty. But bearing in mind she may not be in this world for much longer, why wouldn't she want to get some lovely photos of them all together for their memories? Is she being silly or is 4 weeks too soon to travel to visit people?

Answer 1

Hello everyone is different after they have a baby,but after i had my baby's i was out three days later to my mummy's,there was no problem,but for your friend she might be having a hard time of it every one is different good luck.

Answer 2

She is being silly, my sister in law is originally from Hungry, but immigrated to the US.  Once my nephew was born and got his passport at 4 weeks old, they flew to Hungry.  If they flew on a jet to Hungry, your acquaintance can start getting out and visiting.  I believe she is afraid of the baby getting sick.  However, if she does not let the kid get out and see other people and build up its immunity system, it will hurt the baby later in life.

Answer 3

i would say thats up to her really.

Answer 4

no

Answer 5

After my having my sons, at 10 years apart, I still felt I didn't want to take them out much both times after becoming a new mother. Both times, other than just plain tiredness, it was just not something I 'felt' like doing. I understand how your 'acquaintance' (is she not a friend?!)feels, your thoughts and feelings change when you become a new mother. Also sometimes the hassle of having to lug all the baby equipment around can be annoying. It doesn't make her a bad person just because she's not up to doing something you feel is not right. It's up to her what she wants to do!

I can tell you don't have children.

Answer 6

Yes,you've got to remember she has just gave birth to a baby and spent 9 months carrying him/her around!.Shes bound to be exzausted.

Maybe a part of her doesent whant to see her,but she will be verry tires looking after a 4 week old baby who keep her constantly on her toes.

If she gets some pictures of the baby and send them to her grandma,that would probably be better.And she cant make any excuses up for that!

Once the babies about she could go and see her,its would only be for a day afterall.

Answer 7

My cousin had a baby 5 months ago, and she still closes the door even to change her. Myself, I think that is crazy, but it takes her like 40 min, to feed and change the baby.

IDK.

Good Luck!

Answer 8

No its not too early...but whoever, its the persons own choice.

Answer 9

well, i had a vaginal delivery and felt like c**p until baby was about 5 weeks. i had an episotomy (where they cut you 'down there' to help get the baby out) i was badly bruised because my cervix was long and the consultant had trouble working out how baby was coming out, he was back to back anyway to begin with and then as he started down the canal he turned his head and get stuck. so i was having examinations every 2 hours and each one was taking about 10 mins, the midwife said i was black with bruising! in the end he was a vontuse delivery.

finally i was aneamic and it took a while to find the right dose of iron to stop me feeling dizzy. couple all that with sleepless nights and breast feeding and you can see why i wasnt upto travelling too much.

i also took my little one out everyday for a short walk to visit frineds etc but didnt do any long journeys for about 6 weeks after the birth. People coming to visit is very different to going out for a long period of time. at 4 weeks old if she is breast feeding she may not feel comfortable breast feeding in public, it can take a while to get used to.

every pregnancy and delivery is different and everyone recovers differently. plus after giving birth you can bleed quite heavily for a few weeks after (mine stopped at 5 weeks) so she may feel like she doesnt want to go on long journeys in case of embarrassment. cut her some slack and let her get to know her baby that has only just arrived, if you are really that bothered, go see her yourself and take a photo of the baby and take it in to her gran.

Answer 10

Seems to me its none of your business.  If this acquaintance choses not to take the baby to see her grandma, thats her choice.  You can have an opinion, but its not your decision to make.

Answer 11

It all depends on the person really, some people heal quicker than others. It may just be taking your friend a lot longer to heal fully especially if she had stitches after the birth. Also though she could be trying to protect the baby from all of the germs that float around in an old peoples home.

Answer 12

It could be right.  Having a child can take a lot out of some women.

Then again, she could be dealing with some things that you don't know about and she's not willing to discuss.

Could be physical, hormonal, mental.  

It depends on how far she'll have to travel and mode of travel.  

Her dr. may not want her doing this.  Again, you may not know the whole story.  

Perhaps you should go visit her and then maybe you'll know more about the situation.

But in most cases, most women are back at a normal routine of life, within days.

Answer 13

4 weeks is plenty old enough to visit.

No matter how much I loved my grandma there is no way I would take a newborn to a nursing home. Way too many germs in there. My daughter will be 8 months old on Sunday and I am still leary of the nursing home.

They say that church and Walmart have an excessive amount of germs, yet many parents take very young babies there. Yes, they may get some airborne germs, but at least there isn't fecal matter everywhere.

Answer 14

Different people recover from a natural birth at different rates.

I had a natural birth with my daughter but ended up with a third degrree tear. After having over 100 stitches no way could I have done any long travel times.

I barely coped taking my daughter to see my opartner's parents and that was less than half an hour in the car.

I also used to work in a care home and would not recommend taking a really young baby in there. There are lots of germs spreading around.

Please do not assume you know how she should feel and what she is capable off. You obviously do not have children as you would not be passing judgement like this