Had started to adopt child, found out...?

Question

We had just inquired about a girl, age 7, whose 1st adoptive family can't keep her (she and the dad have really separated since they afterwards adopted a boy, and the adad ignores this little girl). I've fallen in love with her picture, have talked with a social worker about her (she doesn't know us yet), however, the SW got her medical files, and she is HIV positive, although has been on medicine since birth does well, knows it caused her mothers death, & knows what she has. Anyway, I told my sister we were adopting the little girl, and my sister (who is the school secretary & has a big mouth) said she would never let her play with my nephew, even at monopoly (she says she wouldn't endanger her son and no one knows for sure how to get it). What do you think the best interests of this little girl are? I can relate to her, because I was raised with diabetes, and back then, people thougt it might be contagious and didn't let kids play with me. I love this little girl! WeRN smallTown

Answer 1

to start off sorry but your sister is a ***** and i think that you should do what ever you feel is the right thing to do because everyone needs somebody and i feel that this little girl should not be neglected for any reason at all . So what about what your sister thinks and she calls herself a school secretary she needs to grow up and go to an AIDS class because they will tell you how to can get it for sure !!!!

Answer 2

I am so disturbed that in the year 2008 people STILL do not understand the cause, transmission and treatment of AIDS.

What make "her" child more entitled to a family then this child already abandoned twice. It sickens me!!! People irresponsibly expose themselves to the threat of HIV/AIDS every day when they have unprotected s*x yet there are still those in society who fear being around someone infected with the diseases.   ~~ scratches head

You do whatever you feel is the right thing but do not expect to change the attitudes of people who fail to educate themselves. And do not bring this little girl home and lay the burden of changing your sister's attitude on her.

I wish you and that sweet little girl the best of luck.

Answer 3

OMG that is so ignorant! What age is your sister living in? She needs to be educated about HIV and aids virus. Her son couldn’t get it from just playing monopoly.  Today with medication people with this can often live very normal lives. If they have a low viral count the chances of passing it on to someone is extremely low.

I know your heart is in the right place however I question if its right for this girl, seeing that your sister has already rejected her. How would you explain to this child that she can’t play with cousin Billy just because Auntie Sara is afraid she will pass on the aids virus to him, simple by playing monopoly with him , hugging, breathing on him or whatever else.  If you truly want to adopt her you  might have to consider making sacrifices.  

I’m not sure hiding it would be wise. It would be telling this girl she should be ashamed to have the virus. However she shouldn’t because she did not do anything to get it. Plus what if she has to take medication at school or if she goes to  a sleepover and needs her meds or even a weekend trip when she is older.  So it’s likely to come out eventually.

Answer 4

I can empathize with you on this issue, because one of my children has Hepatitis B.   These illnesses do NOT need to be disclosed to your child's school, or to anyone else, because they are not spread through casual contact.  They are blood-borne diseases, and ALL school personnel receive training in "universal precautions" when handling blood situations.

Your sister sounds a lot like mine;  I just didn't tell her, or anyone else in my family, about my child's illness.  Since you've already told your sister about this little girl, is there any way to stop her from telling others?  Can you put your new daughter in a different school?   Personally, it's no great loss that she can't play with your nephew.  With a mother like that, I can imagine what he is like!

Give some serious thought to moving to a different town, and starting a new life with your child.

Answer 5

Actually---This is a Breach of the HIPPA act and You should Not know this information on an Inquiry.... Have you already been selected as the pre-adoptive placement?

In addition it is RATHER odd that the state would allow a disolution of an adoption and find a second adoptive family just because the ADad isn't paying attention to one of his children...  The state generally will NOT find a second family unless the child has some issues the family is unable to take care of....  I would suspect far more then a poor father/daughter relationship....

Answer 6

You need to ask yourself if you could live with not adopting her because of your sister. Would you regret it every day and never stop thinking about her?? Or would you just move on?? I think you will make the right decision if you trust your heart.

Answer 7

I can kind of see where your sister is coming from. HIV is a serious virus that takes so many lives. As far as contracting the virus, blood on blood, sexual intercourse.... and sharing needles are the only way to contract the virus. But, if you can provide that girl with tons of love, and help her learn how to be careful there isn't a thing in this world that should stop you from adopting her. Learn all the facts. You have a generous heart. God Bless!

Answer 8

dont tell people shes positive,,,, medical records are confidential....  raise her like any other normal child.

she didnt ask to have HIV!