Haikus myself......a poem, care to comment?

Question

Haikus myself (je m'haikus), comprenez?

(The story, so far....)

by Jellz Fisher 080724

Swinging on the moon

Phases of me in fullness

Gives a wrong impression

Gets really lonely

Taking passengers next time

“Riders on the sky”

Will try to vary

Taking orbit less traveled

Might find a sky fork!!

"Come fly with Jellz Air”

“To Air is human”, forgive?

…another story

Answer 1

I wonder if we could call these Con-verbial j'Haikus or Perverbial j'Haikus.

They are very funny, as always.

Answer 2

It's really good, I like it but maybe it's not that clear what you are saying..... a bit hard to understand for me.

plz answer my poem:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

Hmmm...not very clear, as haiku chains go.

More, a stream of consiousness mediation on the moon amounting to confusion at best.

The haiku form is a bastardized 5-7-5 that really attains nothing that the traditional haiku is supposed to attain. Haiku is much more than 5-7-5. Research the proper use of the haiku and then attempt the form/poem again.

Answer 4

"Hi Jellz!",

Good morning, your an Earlie bird riser. I'm only up this Earlie because I haven't been asleep.

Its cold too. I hope you have your heater and mitten's on.

You must be like my husband, love the winter season.

I prefer to roast in the sun and turn into roast beef.

I love your Haiku story. I'm going to have to try it myself.

WELL DONE!

Cheers : )

Answer 5

I know......it's only Jelku's, but I like it!