Hand me down baby stuff?

Question

My bf just told me he's getting a crib and a high chair from his brother from when their six year old was a baby. He said he's getting it tomorrow. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I wanted to get my own things and I feel like he didn't consult me or anything. We are not dirt broke and still have six months to go. Is there any way I can get him to not take the stuff?

Answer 1

Tell your husband your concerns and see if you can tell him to tell his brother that you don't need it. But I think you are crazy not to take them up on the offer. With all the other expenses and medical bills and all you will be happy for hand me downs.  

Answer 2

i think you should take the stuff and at least see how it looks. you might like it. then you can spend the extra money that you would have used on a new crib & high chair for other things for the baby.

my baby's crib was a hand me down from my cousin. and the dressers were mine when i was a baby. they are all in brand new condition and i like the stuff. it saved me money, and i neither am dirt broke, but the extra money was used elsewhere for the baby.

Answer 3

Just talk to him about how your feeling, and I am sure you can come up with some sort of compromise.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

Answer 4

Tell him how you feel!  Sounds like this is your first baby...and of course, you would want to go get your own things for the baby...especially everywhere you look, there are cute things and furniture for the little one.

The BF might just be thinking that these items are usually pricey, and from a practical standpoint, why not take hand me downs, especially if it is still in good condition?  

Both of you have valid points, and for the sake of the baby, you will need to learn to communicate more effectively with each other and compromise.

Answer 5

your stuffering from the common 'im a new mom and if i get my child all new stuff they will love me more' sydrome.  yh thats not true baby stuff is wayy expensice. dont wait your money take it a be grateful.

Answer 6

If you don;t need the items, I would suggest brining them over to Grandma's or a friends house where you will be visiting a lot.  That way you can have baby stuff there too.

Answer 7

I would take it anyway just incase.  Like you said you still have six months to go and between that time you can slowly look for a crib and high chair.  What if you don't find one or something comes up and you dont have the time for getting what you want atleast you have a back up.  If you don't need it you can give it to someone else who needs it more.  

Answer 8

Take the stuff. Some cribs (from furniture stores not retail chains costs a chunk of change not $300 in a box put together) Theirs maybe that way and they kept it to pass on for that reason. No matter what check for recall on that crib/high chair etc.

You can buy plenty of your own stuff you need more than most showers can provide. If the crib is from a great company and no recalls you can utilize the $ for other things.

I have one crib but many mom's I know buy 2 cribs or pack and plays-one for a two  level  home or for grandmas. Don't turn it away unless you know for sure you don't want /need a  2nd crib .

Our crib is from a Canadian manufacturer we love and it was not cheap but I was glad we sacrificed for it. The others I looked at local retaiers l  later saw on  recall lists. My have thanked my husband for sacrificing for it and my Mom for the sage advice about spending more safety and non tip dresser etc. It can convert to a toddler and a regular bed board too as they age. I was told long ago that crib stays in the family. As for the 2nd high chair I have a portable one/feeding seat etc. There is a baby boom around me and I always have to bring one for holidays at people's homes or multiple babies/toddlers at parties taking turns in one can be a challenge. I take my own and never worry. You can take the hand me down on the road and leave your at home.

COngrats/Good luck

Once sticker shock sets in a bit trust me those hand me downs look real good.

Answer 9

If the stuff is in good condition and clean then what is the problem?

Baby will be in and out of all that stuff in no time at all.  We have a duty not to waste resource and reuse stuff as much as possible don't we?

Put the money saved in to the kids education fund.....You may not be poor but you can never have enough for that.

Best for baby is all about having mum and dad available....Only YOU are good enough for that job.

Answer 10

you need to be honest with him. you want new stuff for your baby not hand me downs, i was the same way!! you feel like your baby deserves to have new things, not used! :)

Answer 11

  Some things would be ok to get as a hand me down ( somethings don't get used much) however I would buy 2 things - the crib and the car seat.

Answer 12

I would just take it.  Those things are expensive and if you use theirs (as long as they are clean and in good repair) it will give you more money to spend on other stuff~~~stuff that is funner to shop for.  

Answer 13

I would sit down and talk to him about it. Let him know that clothes are one thing but your childs nursery furniture is personal.