Hard Question here : For those "adopted" and had.......?

Question

....Their birth parents find them, what exactly happened?* For those who rejected their birth parents could you please explain why you rejected them? Thank you.

Answer 1

I am adopted.  Although I had absolutely no information about my bparents, I always thought that since they relinquished me...their thoughts about my adoption were clear.  I figured that they were OK with the whole deal.  Since they "started" my adoption, I also figured that it was their responsibility to search for me.  They never did.  So, when I was in my 40's, I searched for them.  I had a short period of contact with bdad, bmom refused contact.  It was then that I discovered that they had told everyone that I had died at birth as a cover story for giving me away. They were married at the time of my birth and are still married to this day. So, my return from the grave, so to speak, was a great embarrassment for them...on many levels.  They are extremely unresolved about my adoption.  I don't think they ever really dealt with the feelings that it brought about.  Frankly, I feel very sorry for them.  Having said that, I also know that by being found was the only way they were ever going to deal with my adoption in a realistic manner.  Although it was hard for them, I think, in the end it is good for them to finally get this secret off their chests.   I now do not have any contact with bparents, but I have tons of extended family that have welcomed me to the family with open arms and hearts.

Answer 2

I was adopted at age 2 given up at birth, by a 22 yr old woman living in Superior WI. thats all I know. I love my parents and really dont care if I ever find the woman who carried me to term. Shes not my mother any more she was just the person who carried me for someone else to bring in to their family nothing more. She lost all ties to me when she signed those papers relinqishing her rights. In the past I had wanted to find her for medical reasons but thats no longer a factor and as shes moved on with her life .......Im perfectly happy with mine and dont need any more complications. To those that want to find their First moms I wish you all the best and hope you find what your seeking when you do. I just have my reasons and you know some of them now, the rest is personal.

Sorry if this sounds bitter, but yea I am I petitioned the county courts where I was born and she or her lawyers anyway blocked me at everyturn so makes me wonder what shes got to hide. And if thats the case then fine by me her loss not my familys, my 2 daughters, my parents and definatly not mine. I have more important things to worry about then why the woman who gave birth to me is hiding behind her legal team. Let her be and move on with life.

Answer 3

i found my birth mother and well we are very different and just did not get along but i got what i needed from it any so that is good

Answer 4

My birth mother, sister and brother found me seven years ago.  I was curious, but not really looking at the time.  It's been wonderful to know them, and have some of my questions answered, but it's been hard too.  I consider them good friends. They consider me their family.  I already have a mom and dad, yet they look at my upcoming child as their grandchild.  It's hard because my parents that raised me feel that they gave up the right to be in my life in that way years and years ago.  Now they are having to share me when that was never their intention.  My birth family is wonderful, but now I'm in the middle of this feelings battle.  I am not considering adopting for this very reason.  It's just too hard.