Feeling sad about the last three days...question for single parents?
My daughter has had a hard time for the last few days using her listening ears. As a result, we've had a rough time of it. And she's had to be punished more than usual and the days haven't ended with a positive feeling...just a 'tomorrow will be better' talk and hugs and kisses, of course. But I'm just sad. I hate these stretches, when they happen.
Especially I think of the fact that she's going to her daddy's tomorrow night and I won't have her and I'll just have these negative days to think about...and so will she!
I know I have to 'parent' her regardless...can't spoil her just cuz she's going to daddy's and I won't see her for a day...but it sucks! We're SO close to one another...and when these days happen I feel so down in the mouth (and heart!) because it interferes with our 'happiness' of course.
I am very confident in my parenting abilities. My daughter is proof of the fact that I'm doing well. And our relationship is proof of the fact that my 'battles' are indeed 'chosen' carefully.
This question isn't about needing help as a parent with guidance and discipline, it's about the feelings of doing what's right but how it's hard...and it hurts the parents for the child to be in trouble just like it hurts the child...and, specifically, how it feels to have your child go to the other parents directly after having a 'hard day' because it leaves you with no ability to get past it and have a fun day together like you usually have.
I should add that I SUPPORT my daugher having a great relationship with her daddy and going to spend time with him. I actually moved here, without any family here, any friends, etc. JUST SO she could be near him and have him in her life on a regular, consistent basis. This isn't about her going to her dads...this is about the difficulty of having a 'difficult day or couple of days' before she goes.
I guess I don't really even know if I have a question so much as a need to hear that others go through the same thing...and maybe an encouraging word or two that when she's at her dad's and thinks of me that it won't be negative, like I'm some kind of boar for getting on to her. Occassional naughtiness I can handle...but when she hits a 3 day attitude spell...I don't know, it just gets to me. She's going to be 5. And she's still just so little and I hate the idea of her being "glad" to be rid of me for a night. Her dad let's her get away with a lot...and so I worry that being there and NOT getting in trouble for not listening and having a bad attitude will make her glad to not be with me instead of missing me so much like we usually do. As a good parent, I still can't let her get away with things...but knowing that doesn't help the way I feel.
Yesterday we stayed home from work and daycare and I thought we would have a 'fun day'...but we didn't due to the fact that she just wouldn't listen. When I sent her to her naughty spot she was crying (of course) but also saying, "I hate my brain..." over and over. When I asked why she was saying that she said it is because her brain makes her be naughty. I didn't let that manipulate me into 'letting her off' but it broke my heart. I guess I don't really need to be talked to about the 'continue to discipline' thing...because I'm VERY consistent with my daughter, no matter how exhausting it is, this is about my sadness at having such hards days in a row with her and feeling sad, too, that she'll possibly be "leaving" to go to her dad's with nothing but the bad memories in her heart instead of the intense love and feelings of missing me that she usually does...
I'm hoping and praying for a better night tonight after work and school!!! If we don't have a good night...I don't know, it just makes me sad and it makes me miss her more and wish I could wipe the last few days off of our memories.
Do any other single parents feel this way when their child is about to go to the other parents house after days like we've had? When you knew/know you had/have to be consistent but will miss them so terribly and feel so bad and sad about it? And do you ever worry that they'll be 'glad' they aren't with you as a result? :(
I am the only one that feels this way...
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