Hard times moving in together....?

Question

whoever said the first year living with someone was the hardest...d**n! that was so true. I admit it, i grew up spoiled as h**l with a maid and so i'm the not the cleanest person alive...but i try hard. but my girlfriend is very organized, and its like her way or the highway. Like, if i do something different, i'm wrong. There is no compromise with her. And she's bipolar and has a horrible temper so you can't talk to her about it. I dunno, who here has ever had a hard time joining lives together? Does it get easier???

Answer 1

It was hard to live with my ex-girlfriend. We were complete opposites. I am not a total neat freak, but I like things to be in order. My ex just didn't care. She'd come home from work and just put her stuff down wherever she felt like putting it. Also, she was so disorganized when it came to any kind of paperwork. I tried getting a filing cabinet but that only worked for about a week. Eventually I'd get sick of seeing c**p lying all over the place and clean and she'd freak out because she wouldn't know where anything was. I would simply tell her if she put it away herself, she'd know where it was. That didn't make a difference. Plus we worked different schedules. She was on 1st shift and I was on 2nd shift. So I'd be woken up to her morning routine and she would wake up when I'd come home from work.

I think if you both can learn to compromise, it can work. If you are both stubborn about learning to compromise, it probably won't get any easier.  

Answer 2

My best friend is bipolar... there are treatments that can even the condition out, but she has to want them... and the hyper organization is very likely part of a separate issue.

Fact is, the temper isn't going to get better without treatment if it is part of a neurochemical issue. Convincing her she needs to at least get a doctor's opinion -must- happen.... Bear in mind that due to gradual changes in a person's body chemistry over the course of years, one type of treatment will not be effective for the whole of a person's lifetime... Maintaining a working treatment requires migrating from one solution to another as they wane in effectiveness.

Likewise, it'd be wise to discuss the idea of counseling with her... because the obsessive angle might be part of a larger problem.

I'll confess, I'm no professional... but I think it'd be worth trying to stick it out if you can get her to address these issues.... and if she won't address them, keep in mind that sometimes people can be in love, and not be set to live together... and leaving the living space doesn't -have- to constitute leaving -them-.  

Answer 3

Dang... I'm (hoping) to move in with my girlfriend in a year. We already argue a lot, so I'm wondering myself how that's going to go >.< My girlfriend is pretty clean and organized too, and I'm messy, but she doesn't seem to mind my messes as much as yours does... Um... Why don't you guys like, go out and de-stress? Like go to a movie (I suggest the Dark Knight), or out to dinner, or just someplace fun? Go raid the McDonald's playground lol, that way the tension and the anger won't be so bad.

Good luck :3