Has a negative relationship with your MIL affected your marriage?

Question

I get married in 12 days and I am excited to get married. However I can't stand my mother in law. She never gave her blessing for us to get married and refuses to help out in any way shape or form. She never showed up for any of our Engagement parties or bridal showers...My husband to be is aware of our dislike for each other. I am just looking for advice in how to get through our marriage...My husband is mine, and in the end he goes home with me...I don't want our marriage or our children to suffer because his mother will not respect the Idea that her son choose me as his life partner...To add to the Boiling pot, I am a devote American Christian...and she is an agnostic who was born and raised in Russia.

Answer 1

My relationship with mine has not bothered my marriage. My husband knows how she is. Neither of us take her c**p. She is told about it when she acts ignorant. My mother in law made a scene and left my baby shower before I even got there and my husband told her how he felt about that. He did not sugar coat it either. I am the one she leaves alone for the most part because my sister in laws take her c**p and whine about it later.  

Answer 2

My MIL and I have never had a great relationship.  She has never really liked me, and despite my best efforts, never shown any interest in having a relationship with me.  I could deal with all of that, but when she started treating our children badly, I had had enough.  At that point my husband confronted her, laid it all out and told her that she needed to act appropriately toward her grandchildren.  She decided she couldn't or wouldn't do that, so we don't currently have a relationship with her.  If your husband to be understands and is aware of your mutual dislike, and he's not pushing you to try and make nice or put you in uncomfortable situations with her, don't spend any energy worrying about it.  If he was trying to get you to be all warm and fuzzy, or didn't understand your feelings toward his mother I would be more concerned, but that doesn't sound like it's the case.

Answer 3

I can't tell you exactly how to deal with it cause it's all in your patience and temperment. I have had a similar situation with my MIL. But my advice to you is always try to be the bigger peson. She is not going to change and I am not in any way trying to tell you to change. But when she is difficult or rude take it with a grain salt. Let it roll right off your back. Your husband will always be greatful for having such an awesome wife. Save him the grief of having to deal with his mother and her issues and your hurt feelings. When she is rude continue to be nice always. And eventually she may come around. It may take years and 2 grandkids but she might come around and atleast be civil. Plus you do not want to talk bad to your children about grandma. As your kids grow up they will see how your mother in-law treats you and if you are always kind, it will serve as a great life lesson for you children. And being a devote christian is a great thing cause God moves in mysterious ways. Don't ever doubt Him. In the end of it all, put the sitaution in his hands and let him take care of it. Hope this helps! God Bless you and your future

Answer 4

I had a positive relationship with my MIL.  It was my ex-wife who turned her against me during the divorce, so that's the only time she and I didn't get along.