Has anybody ever been abused by a partner?

Question

I am basing a drama piece at school on domestic abuse.

I was wondering if anybody has ever been through this and was willing to give me information or tell me their story? You can email me if you like.

Or does anybody have any information that could help me?

Answer 1

I think it's the kids that suffer in silence cos of their stupid parents

Answer 2

No...never. I'm very happy and relieved about that too.

Answer 3

Keep in mind its not always physical abuse. There can be mental and emotional abuse too such as being ignored for weeks on end, being belittled, constantly criticised etc. Typically some abusers alienate the partners family so they have no one to turn to, maybe move somewhere away from their friends etc. The person being abused can become very adept at covering up what is happening and when talking to others can put a spin on what really happened etc to explain it.  

Answer 4

well the first sign of abuse I saw was my bf strangling the cat... here is how it happened.. my cat was in a box and my bf at the time came into the room the cat hissed at him and my bf grabbed the cat and held it tight around the throat... so tight you could see blood around the eyelids.. luckily he let go because i started to cry... a few months after that he started the abuse with me... he  knew to hurt my head where my hair was  so you couldn't see the bruises.. he would bang my head into a wall.. luckily the couple downstairs heard everything and called the cops. I got outta there when he went to Jail for domestic violence.. hope this helps. as for now... i am in a healthy relationship and I have even tested my current boyfriend with seeing if he even shows anger.. not one bit at all... So I am planning on keeping this one around.. lol..oh one more thing.. while at work I looked up where my abusive ex is now living.. turns out he lives a block away and I couldn't figure out before why I kept seeing him everywhere.. we are practically neighbors and he works out at my gym too.. seriously I still panic when I see him because he is very angry that I had him put in jail and i am worried about my safety. I had a victims advocate and I was supposed to testify against him, but that particular day was not good for me.. my mom was at work and I had noone there for me for support but he had his mom, and brother there and I could not even bare the thought of seeing all of them so I did not testify. The victims advocate said I didn't have to if I was scared so I didn't and I could have gotten a restraining order, but after six months you have to pay for it and i was pretty broke back then. now I get to deal with the choice I made and just pray and hope he does not figure out where I live

Answer 5

hi i escaped my abusive partner 20mths ago when i became pregnant with our daughter he has no contact with her thank god!!!

i was with him for nearly 4years and don't mind sharing my story privately.xx

Answer 6

check with your local domestic abuse organization. YWCA handles alot of cases. I've been thru many levels of it myself in the past. It can be very subtle, putting your partner down, making them feel worthless, trying to control your partner, ie. following them, checking up on them, not allowing them to spend time with family and friends, physical intimidation, and physical abuse. It goes in cycles, they "lose thier temper", blame it on you, then apologize and promise not to do it again, etc, etc. I got out before it was too late. A manager in the company i work for was killed a year ago. The company gave a workshop to all managers, and I finally saw it for what it was. I was lucky to have friends and family to help.

Answer 7

I never realised that I had been abused.  I was married 35 years.  Left him for my first boyfriend  after the 35 years.   It is only now that I understand what happened fully.  My husband cheated on me whilst I was pregnant but I think worst of all is the verbal abuse: that you are no good as a person to anyone.  I believed him.  He told me  I had no friends but yet I had, that nobody liked me. but they did.    Took me a long time to realise that he was the one with no friends, that he needed me not the other way around.   He drained me of my self confidence.  I wanted to hide away.  I have always thought that to be hit by your partner/husband was abuse (that is terrible by the way) but verbal abuse stays with you, affects your life forever.  No one should stay in any sort of abusive relationship.  Ever.  

Answer 8

I met a guy almost 10 years ago...and he was disabled (paraplegic and amputee of one leg) he moved me out of state away from my family to live with him under false pretenses (he said he wanted to marry me ...but wanted to get a low income house for a disabled person), tried to tell me how to raise my kids..........and was soooooooo verbally abusive.  I caught cheating on line with a married chick from another state.  He asked me to move out but even when I did he still attempted to control me by getting me to run errands.  I went shopping and he would call me later to yell at me cause i forgot the sugar.  He would tell me if it weren't for him I'd be nothing.  I found out after I moved out that friends would call me and he would tell them I was busy (I wasn't) and never tell me they called. He would tell me when i could and couldn't go to a particular place (i found out later it was cause his married gf was in town)  it went on for about 2 years until I had had enough. I found my strength again and  I moved on found another guy and he oddly enough passed away something like 3 months after i started dating the other guy. Rumor had it he'd holed himself up in his room and alienated himself from everyone except this married on line live (who lived in another state)....and literally stopped taking care of himself and his surroundings. I  say it was a broken heart.  Because of this turn of events I am a STRONG believer of karma.  So watch what you do.  Live honestly or it will come back to bite you in the butt. BIG TIME

Answer 9

I lived in a somewhat abusive home where my dad would come home and verbally yell at my Mom and us.  Luckily everyone is fine now and my parents ended up divorcing anyways.  

Abuse, whether it be verbal or physical should NOT be tolerated !!!!

Answer 10

yes, email me and let me know what u want to know

PS - Natasha you are an idiot, an outright ignorant, judgmental moron...good luck with that

Natasha I am a 30 year old woman with TWO children both of whom are now extremely well adjusted children because i did end up leaving the relationship...but lets talk about who is childish here...do you have any idea what abused women go through to have the nerve to call them pathetic?  you are no better than your father to blame your mother for not protecting you...have you ever sat in a room with abused women before and listened to what thier lives were like?  do you realize they get thier minds so distorted from reality its unreal...do you realize that your father may have threatened your mother with your very lives and she felt there was nothing she could do?  and the fear of child welfare should she report it is just as dangerous as the abuser in some cases...you dont realize the walls that abused women have to face and the courage that they have to have to either stay or leave...how can you call that pathetic?  its your mindset that keeps abused women abused and hidden, because they face judgements from people like you...yes your mother should have left but hindsight is 20/20, maybe you should put less effort into blaming your mother and more into understanding what it exaclty is that abused women go through...and to say you would never be abused, good luck, with your attitude and ignorance on teh subject, it is bound to happen...do you realize successful, bright, intelligent women get abused too?  u have no idea how it starts do u?  u think it just starts all the time with a woman getting hit?  well yea, if i got hit initially id have walked to but unfortunately 99% of the time thats not how it works...they eat away at your entire identity, one little comment at a time, then isolate you, then demean you, and make you feel guilty, your father probably telling your mother how stupid she is, useless, what a bad mother she is...your mother didnt have the strength to leave and im sorry for that but to call abused women pathetic?  u have no idea the courage it takes for these women to face this every day...i would never lay judgements on something i dont understand and for that my statement about you is true, its an observation not a judgement...you are ignorant (you have absolutely no knowledge on what abuse really is to a woman), you are judgemental (with your phrases such as pathetic and blaming your mother for everything), and you are a moron for all of the above...do some research before you open your mouth because with you cry victim, oh my life was so hard because my mommy never left my daddy, but yet you are part of the problem by making the statements you make about abused women and your mother in general...if life was so bad for you as a child, shouldnt you want to do something to help abused women and children find a better way instead of pointing a finger of blame in thier direction and judging them?  who is pathetic in that scenario?

Answer 11

no sorry. i get out before it gets like that

Answer 12

no way

Answer 13

I was in an abusive marriage for 12 years and now provide support for other survivors. If you want email me.

Answer 14

I haven't been abused myself but my mother was abused by her husband when we were children!

I think that some women can be very selfish in situations like that, we were forced to see the violence every day, I remember crying in my room with a pillow over my head so I couldn't hear the thumping sounds. Some women really should leave relationships like that, for their children's sake if they can't do it for their self respect,

IJust a girl)

I am assuming then by your little childish outburst, that you are one of the weak minded pathetic women that allow themselves to be abused, therefore sending signals to men that it's okay!

I hope you don't have any kids, I would hate for you to put them through what I went through as a child.  A mothers job is to protect their children physically and emotionally.

i remember begging my mother every day to take us away, but for her the occasional good day was enough of a reason to put us through the bad days. As for me I can't ever imagine anyone abusing me.

I would say that as a women who hasn't been abused in any way and someone who was forced to watch my mother abused daily makes me perfectly qualified to give my opinion.

I was not asked to give an opinion based on every abuse "victims" case or "yours", I was however asked about my experience!

Answer 15

No my husband has never abused me and he never would.

Answer 16

Yes, it is a hard and touchy subject.  Be very careful, it is a sensitive nature, and you do not want to  offend anyone

Answer 17

no way! i wouldnt let anyone abuse me. ever!

Answer 18

very touchy subject