Has anybody gone through a depression and pushed people away from your life?

Question

I read that a person who's going through a depression tends to push people away from their lives. A person whom I used to be very closed with, went through a depression last year and he just stopped talking to me, stopped contacting me and chose to break off the friendship. Did it make sense? Help me to understand this please...Thanks in advanced.

Answer 1

I am going through depression and have most of my life.  I have pushed everyone away from me.  I have no friends anymore because of this.  It is not that I dont want them to be my friends, it is just htat I want to be alone. It is strange but I unerstand what your friend is going through. Dont give up on him, my friends gave up on me and it hurt.  

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that. I dealt with a girlfriend who had clinical depression, and it was the same way. I know it may seem like you haven't done enough, but you've done all that you can do at this point. Also, to your credit, you've done more than MOST people would ever do.

It speaks well of you that care about someone so much, but in this case, the best thing for you to do is worry about your own mental health. Often ,when people are depressed, they have other issues involving personality disorders. If you keep trying to solve the depressed person's problems, your relationship can become one of dependency pretty rapidly. You run the risk of getting sucked into something that will drain you physically and emotionally.

The best advice I can give you is to give this person some space, but make it clear that you'll be there for them when they are ready to talk about it. You should try to learn as much about depression as you possibly can, and how you should deal with it in a way that helps both of you and hurts neither of you. The best friend a depressed person can have is one that is knowledgeable and can help them deal with their issues constructively.

There are support groups that can help the friends and family of mentally ill people, in much the same way as Al-Anon helps friends and family of alcoholics. It always helps to get advice from someone who has been there before you.

My ex-girlfriend and I still keep in touch, but I had to let go due to the toll dealing with her bipolar disorder took on me. Her and her father got involved in an organization known as the National Alliance for Mental Illness, and are now our area's chapter presidents. So, these types of groups seem to offer a lot of help.

Good luck!

Answer 3

yes, that happens a lot. I push people away all the time and dont let anyone else it. It is like when your depressed you just want to be left alone, but even that makes you more depressed. BUt it just could have been that he didnt want to talk to you anymore...did you guys have a fight or something?

Answer 4

the thing with depression is that you tend to lose interest in things you used to be interested in, things you used to love doing, people you used to love being with. and it's not in the normal way... like you're getting older and getting interested in different stuff... you don't replace it by anything. you're just not interested in anything anymore. life feels pointless. you kind of just want to sleep all the time. sometimes you don't have the energy, mentally or physically, to even get up.... you just want everything to end.

so it's very possible that your friend broke off the relationship because of that, especially if you notice that he broke off relationships with all kinds of people he used to be close with, and he no longer does stuff he used to love doing.... still, depression is something that ought to be diagnosed. it's possible that he just doesn't find stuff in common with you, or whatever. so i wouldn't jump to conclusions, but if he's depressed like you say he is, and he started acting strange toward everyone, i'd say that may be it.

if he is depressed, i'd definitely try to keep in contact with him. it's natural to push people away, I know I did... But I also think I wanted someone who could break past my barriers and 'fix me'. I think i end up owing my life to my one friend, who would not let me walk away from her. she doesn't even know how much she helped me -- one day i was seriously considering suicide, she calls me, and we end up talking on the phone for two hours about random stuff. by the time i hung up, i felt a little better.

if you're worried he may be suicidal, i'd definitely talk to a school counselor or teacher or someone, if you still go to school. or even call that National Suicide Hotline to ask them about what you should do, at 1-800-SUICIDE  (784-2433). Or in the case of emergencies, where you think he may have attempted, or is about to attempt, definitely call 911.

last but not least, try googling 'what is depression?'. i got a bunch of good results. some are medical diaries doctors wrote, so it's a little dense with information you probably don't need, but it sometimes gives the 'symptoms' and talks about the different kinds of depression out there/why they're caused.

it's a good thing that you're concerned. people should never take good friends for granted. :)

Answer 5

God yes strange part about it tho I want the opposite to happen. Am having friend who is Bi polar (I'm Chronic) and she does the same . sometimes she wants to be with me to chat other times she makes excuse and says she doesn't want to know. She also gets furious if i make a mistake and then cools down quick.  If i do something to help her then shes oK .  If I go out on  my own i feel bloody lost and don't seem to enjoy anything when shes not there. In side they may be wanting to be with you. Mines Platonic too and I love her to pieces and like a clown I told her that last year. since then its com her go away come her go away. It doesn't make sense But if you love this guy see if you can remake contact. just be care ful tho. Hope this helps.