Has anyone adopted a child from Russian or Eastern Europe? What were your experiences?

Question

Has anyone adopted a child from Russian or Eastern Europe? What were your experiences?

Answer 1

my cousin did.  when they got the child, he was bald in the back of the head from being left lying down.

he's absolutely clinically neurotic (i'm not trying to be mean).  he is extremely violent as a 12 yr old.  he abuses animals, he has broken his sisters bones, he has yet to attach to anything, including a toy.  he's constantly in movement and has never been able to sit still for more than one - two minutes.  his parents gave up on all family outings about 6 or 7 years ago.  he can't be trusted for 2 minutes by himself.  they had to give away the family dog bc of what he had done to it.

and so on and so on.  i haven't see the kid in about 6 years bc they can not travel with him.   they had him on a plane once and he yelled "hijack".  on another trip, he let the air out of all the tires while his mother was in the ladies room at a stop.  he's very sad and very violent.

it's extremely depressing.

Answer 2

We are host family for them one month out of the year, donate charitably toward their healthcare and education.  We do consider them part of our 'family' but no I wouldn't adopt them and rip them from their families and heritage

Answer 3

My cousin was adopted from Russia 11 years ago when he was 2.  He is now 13 and is healthy.  However, when he first got home, he was afraid of baths, toilets, running water, dogs, and many other things.  

He would pull food from the trash and hide it under his bed- yes when he was 2, and he'd hold bread in both of his hands all the time.  After a few months he finally felt like he could trust that he'd get fed on a regular basis and got over the food hiding and holding.  

He developed some major behavior issues as a 3 year old and 4 year old and has grown out of that as well.  After that, he seems as though he is a well developed child.

The orpanage he lived in was horrible.  He had to fight for his food (hiding it from other hungry kids and the "security dogs" there).  

It was very sad.  But, he's a great kid and seems well grounded now.

Answer 4

I have worked with children who have been adopted from Russia and Romania in a residential treatment facility.  I don't know what the statistics are, but as I understand it, attachment disorders tend to be prevalent among these children.  I worked with two kids who were adopted from Romania who were severely sexually abused.  One girl told me that if she hadn't been adopted when she was, she would have been sold into sexual slavery on her next birthday.  Apparently this is common in Romania.  Many (most?) of the children available for adoption from these countries are housed in orphanages until the time of adoption and are not cared for emotionally (i.e. no body contact, hugs, etc.).  Attachment disorders can be VERY frightening.  However, these kids are just as deserving of homes and loving families as any other child, so I urge you to do your research on RAD, just so that you know what you're looking at.  We have a mom who posts fairly regularly who is raising a child with RAD who might be a good resource, and there's a lot of info available online.  Good luck!

Answer 5

My aunt adopted an older girl from Russia and she was the biggest ***** ever!!! she was so pissed off that she was being taken from her country she wanted to stay in an orphanage.  She ran away many many times cussed out my aunt and uncle and tried to hit them so finally when she turned 18 she moved out with some guy she met only that was about 20 older then her and they live tougher but my aunt still gives her money every month to live but even though she still does a lot for her the russian girls wants nothing to do with our family she is really a big *****. Im not saying all russians would be like this i think it was just her but IDK?

Answer 6

I guess if you didn't want to hear EVERY HORROR story that there is...perhaps a positive and enlighten view from those who have adopted would be better suited. I have listed several support site from parents currently raising their healthy children from russia and eastern europe.

don't be disheartened - bad news is always more prevalent than good.

http://www.adoptive-parenting.com/intern...

Answer 7

Gaia is somewhat correct, in her description of the orphanages and children's hospitals here, although I would consider her answer g rated in perspective to what it is really like here.

  I can spend hours talking to you about Eastern European Orphanages and the children who live in them but I am not sure if that is what your looking for. I have been here for over a year and worked in orphanages and children's hospitals in more then 3 different countries, I am an American Expat with a Romanian visa for Humanitarian work.

  Are you considering adopting from one of these countries? If you are I commend you, you are embarking on a journey that will change you forever.  And not just your journey to motherhood but your view on life and people in general. It is hard to sleep sometimes when you realize just how horribly these children are treated and abused.

As for my experiences I can offer you advice on what you will face after your child comes homes but not of the actual process of getting them there. We have not started our adoption process yet.

You will need to spend quite some time researching how to raise a child with abandonment issues, abuse both mild moderate and sometimes so severe that it is legally considered torture, severe neglect, RAD, FAS, Sexual abuse sometimes in children as young as 4-5 months and girls who have been "sold" These are just a few of the issues of children who are adopted from these countries. Not every child will have them all, and those who are lucky have only faced a few.

These are things you need to research and if possible you need to take classes in parenting the special needs child. It is also important that you take the time to learn as much about your child's original country including holidays, foods, culture, and language. I am so upset to discover how many people assume that adopting a child from one of the countries is enough and that child should be happy to be american! But this is not so, your child had a life, a history and a past before you and you owe your child the respect to prepare him or her should he desire to return home one day. He will spend his life as it is feeling even if it is just a little bit that he does not belong, you will only add to it by causing him to be an outcast in his homeland. He is not just American!

With that said, you need to join a group that helps AP raise their adopted child. It is not easy and just like with bio children their not going to be grateful for everything you did for them, and you shouldn't expect them to. I think I have rambled enough here, I hope that I have shed enough light on some of the issues an adoted child from Eastern Europe may face. Hopefully you will consider this cafefully before making this decision. Either do it right or not at all.

Answer 8

We adopted from Liberia, but we did some research on Russian/Eastern European adoption.  

Alcoholism among adults is EXTREMELY high in those areas.  When it's that prevelent, the logical consequence is that FAS/FAE are also prevelent.  There also seems to be a higher number of attachment disorder problems, likely due to their orphanage situations and possibly FAS/FAE as well.