Has anyone adopted from foster care?

Question

How hard was it? How much was it? please tell me your experince.. My husband and I plan to adopt a child from foster care but I have a lot of questions about it. any help would be appreciated

Answer 1

through the state it would be easy and little to no cost

be warned though a lot of time older children have gone through a lot and are going to be pretty rough around the edges, especially if they have been sexually abused and been tossed from home to home for yrs and yrs

Answer 2

Your experience will greatly be affected by several factors.

Here are a couple of things to keep in mind.

Something to note, the older a child is, whether they have remained in the foster care program for many years, or recently been orphaned or given up, will unfailingly be undergoing many changes in their life which will affect their behaviour. It was found that in the overwhelming majority of cases, the older a child was, the more psychological problems they would be prone to. As such many families reported the process more difficult than those of families that adopted very young adoptees.

Environment is a very strong factor in the recovery and trust of these children. They tend to benefit strongly from stability and consistency as their life before hand will not have been so.

Also, it is extremely important that your family be a part of the adoption process. I was welcomed with varying degrees in my parent's surrounding families which I had many issues with. For example my on my mother's side I felt like I actually had an entire family (grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins) where as on my fathers side it was a bit different and it was just my father who was such a inspirational force in my life.

I'm sure this won't be an issue, but it recommend for yourselves that you at least look into the very heavily debated controversy of interracial adoption as some do say this is a factor of growing up children. For me it was.

But in the end, grew up with wonderful parents. I have recently started to track back my origins, but the more I do, the more I realize how forever thankful I am to my parents and my family for all their support and love over the years. I think adoption is perhaps one of the most overlooked miracles that happen everyday in this country.

Answer 3

I've adopted five children through foster care.  People think it is really hard, but it is relatively easy. In my state, we have to attend foster care classes for 27 hours.  After the classes are through a licensing worker will visit and go through your home to make sure it is adequate for children and then ask you to sign papers for a criminal check.  The whole process takes approximately 3 months here.  

As for the cost of the adoptions, there is none.  The state pays all of the fees.

My husband and I already had 3 biological children before we adopted.  At their births both he and I always became emotional ( and shed a few tears).  We didn't think that the court adoption could compare, but boy were we wrong!  Our adoption days meant just as much to us as the births of our children in the hospital.  Our kids are all doing wonderfully.  We are truly blessed to have all of them!

Answer 4

They often suggest to foster/adopt children who are younger than your own children - for a few reasons.

The main reason - foster kids often have had a hard start to life - and need your full and undivided attention for their well being. Much can be overcome with love and care - but there can be life-long issues - and they really need parents that can be front and centre for them. It will most likely be vastly different from raising your bio child - and that's ok - as long as you nurture the child's nature (ie - don't try to change what natural traits the child already possesses) - you'll get along fine. Adoptees have lives before they reach their adoptive parents - that's their reality - allow the child contact with their birth fam (if possible) - and allow the child to have their own feelings about their adoption - no matter what the feelings. This will all help with the child's self worth and self identity.

An adoptee should be allowed to love all of their families - and not made to be loyal to one or the other. It is not the child's 'fault' that they are not allowed to live with their bio fam - so they should never be made to feel indebted to you for their situation.

The most 'together' adult adoptees I know - are those that have adoptive parents that are content with being another part of the adoptees family - not the 'only' family they are allowed to have.

I would suggest reading adoptee blogs - as understanding the adoptee is very important - here is a link to many I have found on-line -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

I wish you all the very best. There are so many kids in foster care - and they need every break they can get.

Answer 5

I know in Saskatchewan many of the foster parents end up adopting their foster kids.  There is no cost (in Canada).  I know here all adoptive parents must take training called PRIDE, lots of information on attachment issues, FAS, learning and behaviour challenges etc.  No one should adopt a foster child without taking some training to ready yourself.  

Good luck in your journey and may your life be enriched by the life of a child.

Answer 6

My parents adopted from foster care when I was 4.  The brothers they adopted were 3 and almost 2.  They then had a baby 7 months later (and two more years down the road).  I highly suggest that you and your husband either adopt VERY quickly (before your daughter is really AWARE of her place in your family) or wait until you can adopt a child that is younger than her.  The reason is that adopting out of birth order can cause alot of resentment and confusion for your biological child.  To go from being your oldest (or only child) to being someone's little sister is...  confusing at best.  Older siblings are often given alot of responsibility and you could be setting yourself up for some major headaches in sibling rivalry.  

As far as the difficulty involved, it is in some ways more difficult than adopting an infant, but is much MUCH cheaper.  Usually foster adoptions cost nothing but time, and when there is expense, it's almost always under $2000 (well within the bounds of most employer reimbursements, and well less than the adoption tax credit,)  If you adotp a special needs child the cost is typically negligible (unless you have to pay for some court fees, around $100 a session) and the state will typically continue to give the family a small montly subsidy (around $300 a child, if I remember correctly) to help offset the costs of raising a special needs child.  The child will also remain eligible for medicaid, so the parents are discouraged by the possibility of high medical bills.  

However, (at least in Texas) people adopting from foster care must go through certain parenting classes, as well as the typical home study.  If you're adopting an older child, you'll also want to be prepared to do at least a years worth of weekly, or bi-weekly family counseling to make sure you and your child are adjusting well.  Also, (at least in Texas) adoption placements aren't permanent right away.  All Texas adoptions from foster care are "technically" foster to adopt.  The state wants to make sure the new family can handle the difficulties involved in many foster children, and to make sure the family is a good match.  There is a "trial" period of 6 months to 1 year before the adoption is final.  

Again, I must caution you to consider your daughter carefully in this.  While I whole heartedly support adoption from foster care, and I am very glad my parents did, most of the pitfalls we fell into involved not fully understanding the impact of the adoption of the family dynamic as a whole.  I had many resentments growing up that involved not fully understanding what had happened and why, and that caused alot of guilt on my part.  My other brother (the one born immediately after the adoption) also faced many difficult times because his older brothers weren't what society expected older brothers to be.  In the end, things worked out well, but it would have been a much smoother ride for everyone involved had my parents understood what we were feeling, and had we had direction on how to handle it.  

Good luck, and bless you!

Answer 7

We adopted 2 from the state. The state pays for most fees. Some of the fees we had to pay: ( supposed to be paid by the state by changes in state leglislation after we adopted) home study fee: about $250, background check about $100 per person living in house, physicals about $30 per parent. The main legal fees should be paid by the state as well as any health, mental, or other needs for the child until the adoption is final including WIC and other services. Some entitlements continue after adoption is final especially if the child is "hard to adopt" ie older, or minority, or has some type of health or physical concern. Good luck and thank you for your mission!

Answer 8

wow you and your husband must be really wonderful people. It is sad when women go get abortions when there are so many people like you that want babies.