Has anyone else been in this situation?

Question

I have a loving, sweet boyfriend of 7 months. However, lately i've been feeling like the spark between us is gone. i know this is normal over time, but i'm only 18 and don't want to settle down too early. I have been harbouring desires for other guys. I feel awful and guilty although i have never cheated (and never would). I dont know if i should break up with my boyfriend or not. i know he is more into this relationship than i am, and that is not fair to him. Can anyone give me advice? I am so confused as to what to do. Im scared breaking up with him will be a big mistake. on the other hand, it could be a huge relief. either way, breaking up with him with be awful and painful and scary. please help

Answer 1

Make a pact your not going to get married till you 25.  Generally BOYS who just left the nest miss their mommy..

You didn't post his age if he's over 30 then think about it... A man who has his life together some money in the bank a JOB Hmmm....  That sounds like a catch to me..

Answer 2

You could "go on a break" though I'm not sure how well that might work out.

Do something new and fun, like go up to a mountain at night time and enjoy the view together. Have a picnic. ANYTHING.

Answer 3

you said it yourself- you're only18. live  a bit- then if you want him back he'll still be there and if he has someone else just beat the c**p out of her.

Answer 4

There are so many things in life for you to discover. You are still very young and if you are having attractions to other guys, then this is your own mind telling you that you need to end this with him. This isn't to say that you don't love him, but rather that you respect him enough to know that you both are at different spots in your lives and in this relationship. Let him go in peace so that he can find what it is he is looking for and so that you can do the same before there is a lot of heartache and resentment in the future.

Answer 5

By the way, your spark is gone and maybe his is still flickering. So be responsible for your spark being out and what it is you want. Do not go down the path of "we just don't seem to have that sizzle anymore, blah blah blah. Stand up for you self. His recovery will be much quicker from your honesty. .

Answer 6

Hi

My take is that if you are feeling this way, and having doubts, then maybe splitting is the best. . If you are not 110% certain, and and are having these thoughts, then you should give some serious thought to moving on, and guess what? The pain (and there will be) WILL pass, as hard it is to imagine right now. Ask me how I know that :-) Give it a bit more time, carefully consider, then make your decision. By the time you are my age, you will have pretty much forgotten about it, because you will be involved in a new situation. Good luck!

Answer 7

Break up with him.  You're young, you have doubts and breakups are a hard but natural part of life.  

Answer 8

Sweetie, you're 18 years old.  You have a lifetime before you.  No, you shouldn't even consider settling down at this point.  If you have any doubt that this is the man you want to be with for life, don't feel bad about not staying with him.  It will be best for both of you in the long run.  Don't be in a hurry to settle down.  Take some time to live life and decide what you want before settling for anyone.  It may be scary for now, but it's much better than waking up 5 years from now and realizing that you've made a huge mistake.

Answer 9

Hmmm.  You don't want to stay, and you're too scared to leave.  Welcome to the adult world of choices.  You are experiencing growth and change.  If you desire other men, your feelings for your BF have weakened quite a bit.  You have much life to yet experience and sometimes finding happiness takes big risk.  

Don't stay with your BF just because you feel safe.  Yes, you will miss him if you leave and those other men won't seem so desirable while you are grieving.  But who knows?  You may have done the exact right thing for yourself and get over him quickly and breath freely to move on.

You are right when you said it's not fair to him that you are not into him as much as he's into you.  It is also unfair to YOU to stay with a man you cannot love right now.  You would be depriving yourself the true magic of falling deeply in love.

I can't tell you what to do.  But your confusion is a sign than you should back away, at least for a while to search your feelings.

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 10

Trust your instincts!  Mine were rarely wrong when I was your age.

If you feel the spark is gone, then he may be picking up on it. Don't stay in the relationship just because you are afraid of hurting his feelings. Dishonesty is worse.  

Your instincts are telling you to move on. This is what you should do. But be as kind and easy on him as you can.  He'll get over it.

Don't settle. And don't live your life for fear of stepping on another's toes when you are doing nothing wrong.

Most of all, good luck and God bless.