Has anyone else shared my frustration? I mailed out invites to my wedding, with pre-stamped r.s.v.p self

Question

addressed envelopes 1 and 1/2 months prior to my wedding, and my wedding is in 3 weeks, and I got only 3 letters back letting me know whether or not they were coming, and how many...We waited as long as we could to order the catering, which cost my parents a pretty penny and they ordered enough food for the guest lists that we made...Why didn't my guests r.s.v.p? Now, we have no clue as to how many are coming...Is this fairly common that people don't send them back? Or are my guests just being lazy/rude about it???

Answer 1

Not making excuses, but it is summer.  School was out, now it will soon start again.  Many families are busy with vacations, even couples with no children.  Now that school is preparing to begin, many parents are trying to get children ready for school, and get as much summer time fun that may be left.  I imagine your guests have placed your RSVP to the side with intentions of replying, and have simply forgotten.

Is there any way you and your bridal party could split up the list and start calling these people?  I know that your stress level is off the charts right now trying to tie up loose ends, but if you delegate this duty perhaps you would be able to get a more firm count for your reception.

Best wishes.

edit:  by the way, every party I have ever planned over the past 25 years in which I requested an RSVP, only 2 people responded.  Yes, you are seeing correctly -- 2.  Yet most of those invited show up.  Now, THAT's rude.  And when I mention it, they always remark that they thought it was just for regrets.  Received an invitation with RSVP to my niece's wedding next month, and am curious to see how many she receives ( I sent ours immediately).  I imagine she will be on the phone a few weeks from now, getting a firm count for her caterers.

Answer 2

I agree that it's rude and annoying. We had the same thing happen at our wedding. Just call the people and ask them whether they are coming.

Answer 3

Every occasion we've ever had that required RSVP's we've experienced the same thing. People just don't care how inconvenienced the host is by their rudeness.

I swore after the last time that from now on we will serve cake and punch for every occasion and our so-called friends and families can feed themselves a real meal before or after the party. I'm not wasting my time or money again.......In fact I may never celebrate anything ever again........

Answer 4

Nobody really RSVPs anymore. I suggest next time putting Regrets only so that those who aren't coming call.

Answer 5

First, congratulations and best wishes.

It is fairly common for people not to R.S.V.P. AND your guests are being lazy/rude.  People are getting more and more inconsiderate and rude.

I know this must be a very stressful time for you and you don't need this added frustration.  However, you (or someone who can help you) may want to contact those people whom you truly want to be at the wedding to get firm answers (yay or nay) from them.

Are there any provisions with the caterer that allow for changes (and a reduced fee) even this late?  If not, you may want to make alternate plans for the food.  I know wedding food is very expensive but local shelters and charities may put the extra food to good use... and you can think of it as the first good/kind deed you and your beloved (as a married couple) do for others.

Answer 6

That happened to me and it really p***ed me off. Here we only ordered enough food for the people that *did* RSVP and so we had to run out right after the wedding and grab more because everyone ended up showing up. My advice is to call everyone today and get a yes or no from them. If they are annoyed TOO BAD. They'll get over it. Better to be safe than sorry.  

Answer 7

Wow, that sucks.  Hate to say it, I don't thing they are coming.  I think they are being very very VERY Rude!!!  At least they should RSVP back and say they are or are not coming.  

I would plan on just who will be there.  If someone shows up without RSVP'ing so be it.  They don't eat.

Also check with you local post office.  Maybe they were un-deliverable.  Just a chance.  You never know.  There just might be a stack sitting there.

Good Luck  

Answer 8

They are being lazy/rude about. I don't think people realize that they need to let you know ASAP. A lot of times people think they can decide a week or two before hand. I would do some follow up calling I would make it very clear on voice mails that if you don't have a response weather it be email, snail mail or phone call then you will not include them on the list.  I'm sorry I know you're going through so much planning and you want everything to be perfect and then no repsonses! That can be so frusterating. Just give them one last call just to be sure you have enough for everyone.

Congratultions. I hope the marriage is easier then the wedding prep!