Has anyone ever cut family members out of their life for good?

Question

I am 28 and have for years delt with abusiveness from my mother and older brother. I am not allowed at their house or to call them. I have tried to make contact with them only to get hung up on or ignored. My messages do not get returned. When I graduated from college, my mother stopped by the ceremony briefly and when she arrived, forgot her admission ticket. My brother did not even show up. I have forgiven over and over for years. It seems that whatever I do or don't do, it is not good enough. I am tired of always feeling like I have done something wrong. It is not right. Can anyone else relate with family stories? This is frustrating.

Answer 1

yes, my father was the same. he was very abusive, both physically and emotionally-then once i was an adult, i finally told him that i had had enough-he wasnt allowed to talk to me like that, and i hung up on him. he never forgave me for that, and none of my siblings or other relatives ever talked to me again-he never spoke to me again-then he got very sick-knew he was dying, and still he went to his grave hating me, he never talked to me again. you have to just write it off-its your moms loss-there isnt a lot you can do about it- i learned long ago, that you cant make someone love you-it just doesnt work. im sorry, i cant give you a positive response-its so sad when families act like this. god bless you, and now you have to make your own family, and love them the way you never were loved-thats the best you can do.

Answer 2

I am 30, and also come from a dysfunctional family.  When it comes to emotional abuse - there is nothing to gain by forgiving the abusors.... freedom/healing is only gained by forgiving yourself.  You need to be strong - and get your support from elsewhere.  Move on with your life - this could involve getting help from professionals (to put it into perspective).  I know people who have done it (and totally cut out their abusive family) - but you cannot do it without support.

  I can understand your 'desire' to keep trying - we are all taught that family is meant to equal unconditional love and support.  Put your energy into your own family and friends instead.

  The best revenge, is to be happy, successful and not look back.

   In my own life, I am thinking about cutting out my father and 2 sisters.  I have not burn the bridge yet - but feel that it is inevitable. All I know is, my children will not have the same experiences that I have had.

  

Answer 3

Yes my bro and sis have cut me out of their lives for i guess for the rest of our lives... they are sooooooooooooo mad at me and wont tell me what it is about or what i have done that my bro hasnt spoken to me since the day our dad died... my sis is so hateful and rude that i go out of my way not to talk to her .... our mom is very sick and she calls to check on her once every few months or so , OH AND TO TELL HER THAT SHE WANTS THE END TABLES SO DONT PROMISE THEM TO ANYONE...how selfish is that...so i feel that i have done nothing wrong and they arent gods judge and they will be judged accordingly when they get to heaven... I go on with my life and pray for them every day...

Answer 4

Yes.  I am back at home living with my mother until I can get my savings account back up and relocate. My father was abusive and my mother did nothing to stop it. She is in complete denial. My younger sister lives 1 1/2 hrs. away. She ignores and rejects me. At her wedding, her friends and coworkers were suprised that she had a sister. She never mentioned me. The last time she was here, she belittled and insulted me for not being a success and still living with my mother. Very snooty.  She has also called me a freeloader and a bum.  She knows nothing about me. Including my job, education or effort to get housing or a roommate. She has never attended any of my 4 college graduations or gotten me a card. (I have 3 AA's and a BA). My older brother is all right. But, he doesn't talk to me much. My mother never  tells me sister to respect me in her house. She only tells me to be quiet as I try to defend myself. (Even though I shouldn't have to.)

I am going to start a new life in another state. I am not going to take any photos with me reminding me of my past life. I do not want to see my sister ever again. You tried to work things out, and they won't have you. Now this is your time. Not everyone has a biological family or wants one. You can have a good life in your community and with new friends you make. Socialize with people who like you and want your company. It is best  for us to be in a healthy environment.

Keep on going and don't look back!  Good Luck.

Answer 5

Absolutely!  You don't need them.  You've forgiven them and that's all you can do.  You can only reach out so much.  Keep on with your life and maybe someday they will chose to enter it.  Until then keep being the good person you sound to be.