Has anyone ever felt like this?

Question

I know that this isn't exactly related to weddings - but you ladies in the wedding section are always very insightful and helpful.

I got married back in March. I lost a lot of weight because of the stress that I was under - long story. Anyway, back in April I started having major stomach problems, which my doctors still haven't been able to properly diagnosis, and it has caused me to gain weight...and I haven't been able to really exercise because I've been in so much pain with my stomach.

Well tonight one of the girls who was my bridesmaid is having her birthday party. A lot of people will be there that I haven't had an opportunity to see since the wedding. I feel very embarrassed and almost ashamed of myself because I've put on weight. I've only gained about 8 pounds, but I still feel very ashamed. I'm afraid people are going to be looking at me and laughing.

Has anyone ever felt this way? How did you get over it? I want to go tonight and have a good time and celebrate with my friend - but I also feel very self-conscious. Any advice?

Answer 1

I understand your concern but to be frank the only one who notices the 8lbs. Is going to be you. By yourself a new outfit that makes you feel good and go have a good time. No one will will notice or care. I know you have been sick but most women gain after getting married because they are having romantic dinners, relaxing on a honeymoon, finally eating (h**l I will be!), and having honeymoon type s*x. So don't be hard on yourself nip this problem in the butt and enjoy your life!

Answer 2

8 lbs? Come on!

And after a wedding if they notice at all, they'll think you might be expecting which is even more appalling if they are rude enough to mention it.

You should not need to answer any nosy personal questions about your body at all. Just laugh at them first.

Answer 3

Aww, hun, that's such a shame. But you should NOT feel embarrassed about your weight. If people point and laugh and talk behind your back, then those are the kinds of people who do it to everyone because they feel bad about themselves.

You know what I would do in this situation? I would go have my make-up done at a department store counter for free (buy some lipstick or something if you like it), get my nails done and put on my favorite outfit and go to that party with a goal to have a great time.

If you're not having a good time, and you find others are being cruel, just make up an excuse and politely leave, and go home to your husband. Then, at least, you can say you tried, and you'll know you won't want to hang out with those people again.

But chances are, everyone will be happy to see you and want to know how blissful married life is :)

EDIT: I read re-read and saw you've only gained about 8 pounds. Oh hun, you have NOTHING to worry about. No one will notice 10 pounds, let alone 8. Go and have a great time and don't worry.

Answer 4

I gained 15 pounds after high school so when I went to my old Girl Scout reunion 2 years later I was a little heavier. It was mainly in my face and hips too, so from the side I looked skinny but form the front my face was really round and my hips were wide. I still haven't lost it.

I have stomach problems as well (IBS) and a thyroid problem so losing weight is SO hard.

No one at my reunion said anything though. Wear something black so that it is slimming and just be yourself. I don't think they would laugh at you for gaining, some of them may have gained weight themselves. Just go and have a good time, and if you are worried about people thinking you are a pig or anything than just eat light snacks (I worry about that. Over-eating was not the cause of my weight gain, but other people don't know that so I try not to eat tons of food in front of them)

Answer 5

Body issues are so hard for many people to overcome, and I'm sorry to hear you're struggling with this right now.  If you're surrounded by other adults, they should be adult enough to understand that everyone faces many stressful events, and weight gain is common when things get a little rough.  Honestly, with a gain of just 8 pounds, I doubt anyone will notice.  If they do, like I said, they should understand, and if anyone actually goes out of their way to point out the gain to you, it's not because of you, it's because of them.  Many people suffer with their own insecurities and hardships, and try to overcome such things by belittling others.  This is their problem, and let it remain their problem.  Know you're beutiful.  You were beautiful at the weight you were, the weight you are now, and any weight to come whether it's more or less.

It's hard to just have self confidence just because someone tells you too, but honestly, just try to fake it 'til you make it.  Be fabulous, buy yourself something nice to wear, don't pay attention to a size, cut the friggin tag out if it makes you feel better.  Just buy something size fabulous, enjoy the company of those around you, and know that if you truly love yourself the whole world could hate you or they could love you and it would make no difference.

Your body is simply a veichle that carries you through the beautiful opportunities in life. Don't miss out getting caught up in things that are insignificant.  

- - - - - - - - - - -

Be impeccable with your word.  Don't take anything personally. Don't make assumptions.  Always do your best.  This is what I live my life by.  

Answer 6

Unless you act different I'm betting no one will notice or care if you are a tiny big bigger. I'm betting its not even noticeable to anyone but you. Please go to the party and have a great time. About your stomach troubles....have them check for esophageal reflux or gal stones. Gal stones are over looked in younger people quite often and are very painful. Eat a very low fat diet and eat things that are easy to digest and try not to fill your stomach when you eat and make sure you are having proper bowel movements. Good luck and I hope the Dr's help you soon. Go to the party! Have fun!

Answer 7

I wouldn't worry. First of all you HAVE to go. That's not a good enough reason not to. Second we always notice more about ourselves than anyone else notices so I'm sure they won't be able to tell. Just go and have fun, and wear solid colors if that helps :)

Answer 8

You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. You shouldn't matter what people think - odds are they aren't going to notice anyway.

Answer 9

go to the party and have a great time  -  you've been on your honeymoon!

Answer 10

I lost 30 pounds and felt great. Then I started dating the man who is now my husband and it was hard to keep that weight off, so I gained it back. Then I gained MORE after we got married.

Every time I feel like people are watching, I try to tell myself WHO CARES?  Everyone has their own problems, and most people hide them inside. Most of those people that you fear are "Watching you" have their own skeletons in their closets.

Look the best you can, and you are fine. God loves you JUST the way you look. No matter what.

AND remember: most of the time, the fears we have never happen. So chances are, no one is even thinking about you looking different.

You are beautiful for who you are.