Has anyone ever had a crush on their professor? How did you get over it, without changing classes?

Question

I have an addictive personality..I get "addicted" to random guys and I get obsessed with them...right now i have the biggest crush on my chem. professor..except its pretty much one-sided..i fantasize about him for hours a day and in class i cant concentrate on his lecture..i dont remember a thing he says..i've flirted with him before, and ive been to his office a few times to "ask him questions about the lecture.." i think he's attracted to me but i know nothing will happen... its been 5 months and this is taking over my life. exams are coming up and im not sure if i'll even pass. ive wasted so much time on him..i.e. the fantasizing, flirting, i miss the other lectures before his class, well each lecture is like a date so i have to primp and get ready and be perfect, thinking about how to seduce him, my body language, s**y things to say to him, what to wear, etc i'm going crazy, help???

Answer 1

What you're experiencing isn't all that uncommon but it seems to me you've taken it to an extreme. Self control is what should keep you out of trouble but it sounds to me that your obsessive personality is going to get both you and, very possibly him if he's stupid enough to fall for your behavior, in a lot of trouble. Go see a shrink before you make a huge mistake.

Answer 2

Well honey, take a cue from my life. I did the same thing except he did want me. We got together, got married and it was the worst thing I ever did with my life. Try thinking of it like that... if you succeed, you inevitably will fail. The urge will be much less.  

Answer 3

I can say with all honesty that I've had at least one professor in my sights for every semester of college, in both pre and post graduate studies!  There were even a couple that caught me in the same way they seem to have caught you.

The good news is that you already know you have this tendency and can avoid it in the future by choosing classes with female professors or by recording lectures if you can't pay attention in class.  I found that recording lectures worked wonders for me, and once I got over the initial excitement of hearing his voice, I was able to really focus on the material.  These recordings also make for good test review when the time comes.

It sounds like you're already past that point with exams coming soon - if you really think you're going to have a problem, I'd suggest talking with the Hot Professor (try to remain professional - this is your academic career after all) and see if you can have an extension or other option for the course.  I would also question your reason for taking the class in the first place - are you going to fail because you're professor is SO hot that you can't concentrate at all?  Or is chemistry not your cup-of-tea and you need to take it again?  

I would also suggest not missing other lectures and I know you're already well aware of this, but I have to chime in on that as well.

I do think it interesting that many of the respondents will give you knee-jerk answers like "it's WRONG!  You'll destroy your life!"  etc ad nauseum, but as everyone should know, these sorts of things are rarely that severe and happen a h**l of a lot more than people would like you to believe.  If you really choose to peruse this (and you have this right) be very careful in making sure you are subtle, safe and professional.  Be smart and things usually work out well.  

Most importantly though, remember why you're in school and try to take it down a notch if you see your grades slipping.  Most campuses offer free support for students and I've found that talking with another adult about these sorts of things can work wonders.

Balance my dear!  And good luck!

Answer 4

youll get over it when you change classes. just try your best to pay attention or keep track of what he is wearing with what he is talking about and when you see a question youll be like! oh he was wearing this this day and talking about this.