Has anyone ever heard of having a potluck wedding reception, asking your guests to bring a covered dish?

Question

My brother-in-law is getting married in August. In the wedding invitation, they state that their reception is going to be a potluck and it asks the guests to bring a covered dish. Has anyone else ever heard of this? I think it is in poor taste to ask your guests to do this, but my husband thinks it is perfectly acceptable. I am 37 years old, and have been around weddings all my life and never heard of this. Please tell me I am not the only one who thinks this is tacky. Thanks!

Answer 1

I am so very much in favour of this idea!  I am sick to death of the wedding industry "must do" list.  A wedding is about celebrating your commitment and your love with friends and family---period.  We have become so obsessed with the etiquette and expectations surrounding weddings and have forgotten the real point of the thing.  It is ludicrous to say that if you are fortunate enough to have money you get to celebrate your day with whomever you choose and if you do not have money to spare, you must curtail your guest list and cut out your loved ones simply because you can not provide them with shrimp cocktail or free wine.  I've attended some potluck weddings and the food was usually better than the rubber chicken and overcooked carrots typically provided by a catering company or banquet hall.  Yes, you have to consider the organizational issues and food safety and not all guests will be able to provide a dish (think about the out-of-towners) but if this is handled in a graceful manner, I think it can be lovely.  Personally, I would not expect gifts if I was asking a guest to bring a food item---instead, consider asking guest to send you a recipe card of their dish and compile them all in to a cookbook.  Every time you cook one of those dishes, you'll think of your wedding day!  and let's not forget: a wedding is one day...a marriage is meant to last a lifetime.

I have seen some vicious posts on this topic on a variety of wedding-related blogs.  I say go for it!  The people who really love you will get it...those that don't can stay home and pout.  They'll be missing a great party!