Has anyone ever put their child in a boarding school?

Question

We recently moved across the country so my daughter, who is 14, could attend a private school. We could have decided to board her but chose not to because we did not feel she was emotionally ready to be away from us. She did not complain and left the decision up to us. We chose the day school for her. She begged us to attend this school and we feel blessed that we are able to so.

This move had been hard. He dad is currently commuting every other week because we have a home and a business in our home state. We miss him terribly on the weeks he is not here. Also, her siblings live in our home state and we are used to seeing them more frequently, even though 2 of them are a few hours away. We are now nearly 1200 miles away.

We are second guessing our decision to not board her. Although the thought of living far from her at such a tender age seems unbearable, many children who board there are from other states and other countries. Maybe it would have been good for her to grow emotionally. I don't know........

Have any of you attended boarding school or have children who do? What was it like?

Answer 1

No. And I never would.

Answer 2

i was in a bording school for  2 YEARS at first it was hard and i missesd my family but i knew i had to go because my btother spencer was geting help[drug achool and he was abusing me]i saw my family for two days out of the week and it gave me a sence of independance and now that i live at home its easier to get along

Answer 3

My 16yr son is currently in one because of certain issues and the area we live in was just adding more problems. After putting him through a series of programs and going through some with him, the final stage was to find a school for him that A) he would enjoy and B) keep him on track. We found a boarding school a little over an hour away. He LOVES it (when in the past he hated school) and is doing fantactic there. It's a wonderful feeling for me...knowing my kid is doing great and is safe after so many years of struggle.

The school has classes Monday- Friday from about 9am-3pm. They have tutoring hours, set activities/sports throughout the day and some free time before and after meals. On the weekends, they have free time on campus and then do an activity together as a school (it's very tiny). They do outings as simple as going to dinner/movies to going white water raftings/camping. It's kind of like college in a way with a lot less freedom.

As a parent, it's hard. I really miss him and it's a different kind of "miss" than the one I'll get about my daughter, who is leaving for college in Sept. But I know that he's in the right place and is doing well. I get updates about his grades from his teachers AND him (something that rarely happened), see tons of pictures, recieve phone calls and e-mails and visit often.

In the past, I always looked down upon parents who sent their kids away to boarding school regarless of the reason, but since I've been put into place, I've realized that you can't look down upon the choice until you've been into the situation.  Personally, I think 14yrs is a little too young to be boarding on the other side of the country. Maybe with some time, getting to know the school and the students there, she'll bring the idea up herself and feel very comfortable living there.

I can't say I know what you're going through because I've never been in that situation, but maybe what would be best is to have a sit down family meeting. Decide what would be best for EVERYONE as a family concerning where to live, what to do about school/work etc. Good luck.

Edit: This is some kind of specialized school, right?

Answer 4

the only way to know is to actually let her try it out for a year and see how it goes.  i have a LOT of friends who went to boarding school and they all loved it.  however, they're also (were also) very mature, i don't know if they boarding school created that maturity, or it they were mature to begin with and so then loved boarding school.  But yeah, it seems like you're stressing your family alot.  I'd give it a try.  If she hates it she doesn't have to bother with it.  but at 14 she should be either in 8th or 9th grade, right?  i don't think that's too young at all.  i think it's a great way for her to meet knew friends and get used to depending on herself, so that when she goes to college she doesn't lose her mind at this first sight of freedom.  anyway, give it a try.  sure she'll get home sick, and the first two months will be hard (and that's for anyone, happens when you go away to college too) but the only way you'll know if she can thrive in boarding school is to let her try.  it's not like you'll never see her again!  you can visit often.

Answer 5

I could never put my child in boarding school. i want my kid/s home with me. but then im used to them being here 24/7 as im a stay at home  mom,  its different for everyone.

Answer 6

While I understand where you are coming from for wanting the absolute best for your child (after all, we all do), please don't take this the wrong way - but maybe you need to rethink this whole private school decision.  The schools in your state cannot be that bad.  Is it really worth it?  

Answer 7

Sometimes, you have to do what's best for your child - even if that decision is difficult.  My mother was a counselor at a boarding school for children with special needs (learning differences to Down Syndrome and everything in between).  She saw many parents struggle with "sending away" their babies.  However, the school could offer more services than their districts could provide, so it was really for the best.

I also have two siblings with learning differences - one with Dyslexia, and one with NVLD.  The latter struggled both academically and socially.  My mother finally found an amazing boarding school that could help him in both areas.  When he enrolled at age 15, it was an extremely difficult decision for my mother.  She cried for weeks, wondering if she had made the wrong choice.  However, my brother flourished in his new environment.  He came home at least two weekends a month, and was happy for the first time that I can remember.  His grades improved, and he made a close circle of friends.  I'm proud to say today that he's a bright, successful man with a family of his own.  I honestly don't think he'd be where he is today if my mother hadn't bitten the bullet and sent him away to school.  

How about 5 - day boarding?  Your daughter could come home every weekend, or every other weekend.  If it didn't work out, she could always come home.

Really, I sympathize with your situation.  Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for "sending away" your daughter.  You want the best education possible for her, and that's sometimes not as easy as sending them to the school down the street.  Good luck to you all.