Has anyone ever regretted getting married, right after you said "I do"?

Question

I'm getting married in a October and the FH and I are always fighting. I suggested that we see a premartial counselar and he says we don't need it, becuase I'm the one that is always picking fights with him. The thing he doesn't understand are the reasons as to why I 'pick' fights with him.

I honestly don't see us lasting more than 5 years.

Has this ever happend to anyone else?

a part of me is only marrying him becuase I'm almost 30, and that my mother has spent more money than she has on my wedding shower. I feel so lost.

Am I the only one???

Answer 1

To be honest if you don't see your marriage lasting more then 5 years and are only getting married because you're approaching 30, I don't believe are reasons that support you getting married. Planning a wedding, not to mention a life together is incredibly frustrating and scary at times, but part of the reason you pull though is because you have support from one another. It's common to have doubts about such a big step, and you're trying your best to keep things together, but maybe you could try to postpone your wedding for a couple more months, until you're 100% sure that this is a step you want to take.

Answer 2

Well to start my answer off i would like to tell you that 90% of the arguments that you and FH have now you will be having throughout your entire marriage.I never doubted marrying my husband and after I said I do I cried with joy.so to me the answer for you is you are either afraid of commitment or you do not truly love him the way your heart says you should.My opinion is you DO NOT LOVE THIS MAN and you should move on.(and I don't mean to shout) but you should not go through with this doomed marriage.

Answer 3

sweetie, i don't think you should continue to planning a life with this man.  you dont marry someone for five years, you marry them for a lifetime.  you need to tell him all of this, this is not good.  at the very least take a break to think things over and decide what you really want and need.  you truly know what is right, i know its hard, but believe me, doing the right thing for you is way more important than following your wants that are only of the now.

Answer 4

Both my sister and my best friend did.  They knew they weren't really looking forward to getting married but felt they should just go through with it for whatever reason anyway.  Both ended up filing for a divorce a year after their wedding and really regretted having gotten married.

If you are almost 30, you still have plenty of time to find the right guy if you break up with him and start looking now.  If your mom knew you didn't want to get married, I'm sure she would much rather see you break off the wedding than go through with something you don't want to do.  

I know it's scary to call off a wedding.  But I've known girls who've done that as well, and it's still much better than having to face a divorce later on, or worse yet, to be married to a man you're unhappy with.

Answer 5

Yeah my first marriage as soon as them words came out of my mouth I thought oh h**l no I did not just do that. Unfortunately for me it lasted for 13 years, maybe you won't be that way. Good luck  

Answer 6

If he was the right one for you, he would do ANYTHING to make you feel better about getting married, including premarital counseling. I almost married the wrong one and a year later met the right one. If someone truly loves you they will go out of their way to show you. Money is money, if it wasn't spent on that it would have gone some other place. Talk to your mom, about the money issue, I am sure she would totally understand.

Answer 7

If you don't see your marriage going any further than 5 yrs. DO NOT marry him.

Don't ever marry someone because you are afraid to be alone, don't think you can do any better, because you're almost 30.

You need to rethink this wedding, and the sooner the better. It's not fair to either of you to get married because with the money spent and time invested you feel 'obligated'. If you marry someone you KNOW is wrong for you and you marry out of obligation this marriage will be unhappy and just a big disaster.

Be strong and do what you know is BEST and RIGHT for everyone involved, and if it means calling off the wedding then please do so. Good luck.

Answer 8

It's hard for me to answer that, because I know I've had my doubts.  But I want to be careful here, because I don't like to incriminate myself in matters such as these.

All I will say to you is that doubts and fears are part of the human experience.

Answer 9

i TOTALLY REGRET IT! OMG!!

Answer 10

It is normal to be like this just before your wedding , it happened to me before getting married, but immediately after a fight I would feel sorry and asking myself : `Why are you doing this? `, even when I fought with him all I could thing of was that I love him and this is not right. If you know you really love him go ahead and get married, it will last forever as long as there is love, but if you have doubts of that, who cares about how much money your mom spent? It is about you being happy!!!

Answer 11

I had serious doubts the night before but went through with it anyway.  I was sorry I did within 2 weeks of the wedding.  I stuck it out for 5 looonnnggg miserable years of my life that I can't get back.  Even if he doesn't want to go for counseling you should go yourself.  You could also ask him to go to help you find out why you pick fights with him.  (I'm not saying you do pick fights with him but if HE thinks your visits are about you and not about him and the relationship you share he's more likely to go)

good luck and follow your instincts and your heart.