Has anyone experienced out right racism when out in public with a partner of a different skin colour?

Question

...how do you feel?/cope with it without feeling down? My boyfriend is black and I am white. We are living in a predominantly white area and the reactions of some people are prehistoric to say the least!!!! He feels uncomfortable with the stares and sometimes ignorant comments it is unbelievable that he is made to feel different when people pretend that they have no issues with difference in colour, race whatever!! What is their problem????? I know it hurts my boyfriend he just wants to get on with living and studying etc and yet these underlying issues and moments occur on a daily basis. He did not expect it from this country at all and I hadnt expected it to be quite so blunt and ignorant - I mean in a cafe people will stop and stare and watch us and stuff........ we ignore it but it is just something that is always there. Are there other people out there who can relate to these experiences? How do you maintain your anger at the basic rude behaviour of people? What is their problem?

Answer 1

Black people have been trying to tell people that Racism is strong in this country to this day-but you didn't believe us.

Now this is what you have to do.

1. Ignore the strangers there is nothing you can do about them anyway.

2. Educate/Correct-family, friends, acquaintences- these are the people that you meet at parties and you go to a neighbor's house or a co-worker says something off-color. This is your chance to challenge them when they say that they have always treated people with repect and then they start showing you otherwise.

3. hold your head up and encourage your man - always.  If you are feeling it, then he is hearing it, i guarantee it, so encourage him to be proud of who he is and where his roots are.  America is one of the most racist countries, it's not the only one but it is still racist.  

Be strong, but always always, be on your guard for the extreme comment-stopping and staring is not blatant-believe me you will know when you see blatant.

Answer 2

get a pasty coloured boyfriend! wot?

Answer 3

Yup, I'm French/Native American and my wife is Asian.  Its mostly from Asians!

I have a couple of friends that have a mixed relationship like yours and they say the biggest racists happen to be black women.

Answer 4

My husband is  Choctaw, African and German..Brown skinned and handsome as a lord; I am Creole and look white...we have been married more years than you have been alive...and we still get the "Look". It is usually old white folks and black women...but one day a teenager in denims marked up with n**i symbols and wearing an 8 inch high blond Mohawk gave us the look...when upon our return route he stared again I detached myself from assisting my disabled veteran husband and walked over ..I said "Why aren't you adorable...you just look sooo cute." I don't think it was the reaction he was looking for, but I truly enjoyed it.

You are right many young people have the idea racism is dead, but it continually rears its ugly head...the worse the economy gets the more racism you will see. A person who has never felt discrimination has not idea of the pain it brings. My husband grew up in a segregated community...how many kids today have fountains they can't drink from or places where they are not allowed because of race, or have ever read a posted sign..."No Blacks, Jews or dogs allowed".  I was not subject to his kind of vi sable discrimination. Looking as I do, I often hear racist remarks directed at people of color by persons ignorant of my racial make up. It is still here, and will be gone only when we can realize human is the only race.

Answer 5

Come on. Racism doesn't exist in this country any longer. Its extinct. You must have been experiencing something else which you are misdirecting as racism. Trying getting a boyfriend who is not black and see if this mental syndrome of yours changes.

Answer 6

yep, happened many times. He would say that he doesn't notice anymore, but it was new for me, so i did notice... It bothered me greatly, and i wondered about same things. Now, i just go about my life, and i learn how it is, actually ,in this country. It will always happen, and you have to decide if it will bother you or not. People will always stare... good luck to you guys (:

Answer 7

I can understand where u are coming from..  I am black and used to date a guy from Persia ( Saudi Arabia) and we would get all sorts of stares.. when I bought him home, my mother even asked me something I never expected from her... I can say this to you.. let people have their opinions..if you are happy thats all that matters.. you can't escape it.. You would think after all these years, this would have died down but sometimes it seems to be getting worse.. just love him .. no one can judge you but God himself.. when people stare.. the best way to get their eyes off you is to say "hello" to them.. show them that you are happy and give them what they are looking for.. when u see them staring .. look at your man and say " Baby you are the best thing that ever happened to me." and make sure they can hear you.. if it won't get them off your case at least it will be funny as h**l..good luck sweetie and live your life for you ..

Answer 8

If you keep this boyfriend, expect this the rest of your life.  People are "taught" or "not taught" to pretend there is a black and white couple in the room.

Answer 9

No, in Holland we are laid back.

And we love Barack Obama.

Answer 10

yes i am married to a black man and i kind of have the opposite no white people tell me anything but a lot of black people do

like all of his family hates me and say all kind of bad things

and others like girls we don't even know will tell me like why aint i with a white boy i just got to be taking all of the men along with every thing else

im just like look im only 20 i wasnt alive back when all that bull $#!t was happening so what the h**l  but it dosnt end so just be strong and dont let anyone stop u from loving who you love who cares what others say keep your head up and be with him if that is what makes you happy.

Answer 11

Well I'm Hispanic and my boy friend is white of European descent..and no I haven't gotten weird looks or felt uncomfortable ....as soon as it comes in my thoughts I block it!

it's not as scrutinized as it is for white/black couples.

I know he cares for me and I him, and that's all that matters.

I know I'm hot and so lots of white people think I'm cute..

he he..even te bigots..

thats what matters!

hahahaha, I've been told so!