Has anyone had a d & c and asked to keep the baby so you could bury it?

Question

I just had a d & c done after they discovered that my baby's heart beat had stopped at 10 weeks. The doctor told me before hand that they would give me a choice before the procedure whether or not I wanted to keep it and take it home and bury the baby or let the hospital bury it or something. When I got there they said that I couldn't have it the only way I could is if I send it to a funeral home. I was just wondering if anyone has been allowed to keep theirs or if this is normal procedure. I don't understand why I couldn't be given it. If I had miscarried at home than I would have it. My decision might have been different if I had been given the right informantion.

Answer 1

I'm sorry you had to go through this and you're right, if you'd miscarried at home it would have ben totally within your control, but they have rules and regulations and the funeral home procedure is simply what's on the books as protocol. Something to do with bodily fluids.

There are similar rules with human remains in other formats too (eg: cremation ashes) like for example, you can't take them on a plane in the main compartment and it has to go in the hold and if it's international there has to be a customs form blah blah. Paperwork, who needs it?!

I wish you the very best!

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a baby is the hardest thing to ever have to go through. I had a miscarriage at 20 weeks about 2 years ago and it was the most heartbreaking thing I've ever been through in my life.

My miscarriage was at home, so I'm sorry I can't answer your question more clearly. Its so terrible when you're already dealing with a tramatic situation and then medical personnel are making it worse!

My DH and I burned the ultrasound picture and scattered those ashes, along with some daisy petals by a waterfall, with our family and friends. I don't think I've ever cried as much in  my entire life. Even if you don't have the baby with you, I think its very important to do some sort of memorial for closure and a way to say goodbye to the possibility of what could've been.

My heart aches for you. Hang in there...