Has anyone had a problem with grandparents having nothing to do with only one of their grandkids?

Question

ok so i have two beautiful girls and they are 14 months apart one is 2 and the other is 1 well my first daughter my inlaws have always adored and gone out of their way to spend time with her well my second daughter they never have anything to do with her if we go over there then they will play with her but they are always getting my 2 year old for sleepovers and stuff and just to come over for the day and stuff but my 1 year old is now at the point where she knows and i dont know what to do without causing a huge fight so what do i do any advice

Answer 1

I'm so sorry. I think the best way is to confront them...

One of my friends, her grandparents buy her and her sister tons of stuff, take them on trips, and all this fun stuff. While her little brother gets nothing. One day, he walked up to his mom and said "Mom, Grandma doesn't love me." It's so horrible. And her aunt is one of the worst about ignoring the little brother. My friend was on a trip with the aunt and the grandma and my friend buys lot's of stuff for her siblings. She bought her brother a baseball ornament, because it was his first season of baseball, and her aunt said "You know, you don't have to buy your brother things at every stop we go to!" And she explained that she thought he would like it and that it was his first season of baseball and then her aunt ignored her for the next hour!

I hope you fix this problem as I am sure my friend will soon.

Answer 2

Hey...  So sorry.  We have a similar situation here, but a bit different.  My in-laws favor our niece and nephew over our kids.  They shower them with attention, go out of their way to see them, etc and our kids are kind of shadowed out.  My husband won't deal with the issues at hand and I think the in-laws are basically ignorant to the fact that it's really happening.  I wish I had some advice for you...  I am reading the responses hoping something applies to my situation as well.

Hang tough.  I think for the most part, make sure that when your eldest is doing something with her grandparents that you do something fun with your youngest.  Best of luck!

Answer 3

they are elderly they cannot possiblly take care of both children at once and the 1yr old might just be to much for them to handle right now. when she gets a bit older i am sure they will take to her.. if your really sore about it just bring it up with them and not as a negative just gently inquire and have your husbands suppourt it is his parents.

Answer 4

I had this problem with my in laws.  I talked to them about it and they said they didn't even realize they were doing it.  Now they make sure that they treat both of my kids equal.      

Answer 5

It may be that they do not realise the impression which they are giving. How about trying to gently and diplomatically ask about it? Or get your partner to (they are more likely to forgive him more quickly if there is any hurt or upset caused)? Have you talked to your partner about it? It may be something he can shed some light upon. They may just feel that your youngest is not quite ready for the kind of attention which they are giving the older and have not realised that is no longer true.

I have been told that communication is very important in families because lack of it is one of the biggest causes of problems among families.

I hope that helps. Good luck