Has anyone had an experience with foster adoptions??

Question

We are going to an info meeting about foster parenting tomorrown and wanted to see if anyone here had done fostering then adoption?? What kind of experience have you had, ect.?

Answer 1

My husband and I have fostered for quite a few years now.  During that time we adopted 5 of the children that we fostered.  There were times that we were hurt, (usually due to circumstances that were happening to the children), but for the most part it was a wonderful experience that we would gladly relive in order to have these kids in our lives.

Answer 2

Each agency is different. Each experience unique. I have had a wonderful experience I completed my homestudy in Feb. Was matched with children in May brought them home in June. The girls have been the light of my life. It's hard to have social workers constantly coming for reviews - but that's just part of it. I am sure if my in laws lived close by - I would feel the same type of intrusion too!

They say the hardest part of foster adopt is the system itself. The kids are GREAT. Just love on the kids and do what's best for them and you will be just fine.

www.adoptive-parenting.com

lots of insight and information on foster adopt!!

Answer 3

I am currently working on becoming a foster parent.  It's a beautiful process.  Many people are critical of the system, but don't let that dissuade you.  Yes, these children have seen and witnessed things that no child should ever have to go through, but there are many many reasons that children come into care.  The state/city should be trying every last effort to reunite the child with their birth family before parental rights are terminated and the child becomes a ward of the state.  Children in care get parental visitation (based on circumstances).  If you strive to develop some relationship with the birth parents, you should certainly get a feel for what type of parents they are and if this is a legitimate separation or not.  There is an appeal process if you feel that the child is not safe going back home to their parents.  Overall, they always try to do what is best for the children.  You need to have a big heart and thick skin to become a foster parent.

Answer 4

Yes. My aunt did.

Well, she had two girls, sisters for 6 years. Then because of their troubled past (most probably the reason) trhey played up when at the ayge of about 13. Weird things like hording poo and smoking. They were the nicest of girls, but unless you wanted to foster a baby, then i would PERSONALLY not do it. But then again it is not for everyone, and every child is different. But please, if you do foster, please make sure you foster the right child for you and make sure you have enough time and sympathy for them =D.

Good luck!!! :D

Answer 5

make sure that you appear a loving person. and yes it's a pretty long procedure, good luck in adopting and may g-d bless you

Answer 6

My husband and I have been foster parents for 2 years now.  We never planned on it turning into adoption but we were always open to it if that became the case.  It seams like since we were open to legal risk / foster to adopt children that is all we were given.  

We were told with our first that she would be legally free to adopt in a very short time.  We let our guard down completely and loved that little girl as best we could.  Long story short 2 months into the adoption process things changed and after 9 months we found ourselves having to let her go.  It was absolutely heart breaking for all of us but we are ok with it now.  It was just part of the 'risk' I suppose.

We weren't sure if we were going to be able to go through that again so we decided not to foster again.  As the paperwork was being processed for us to no longer be open to foster children we got 'the' call.  Same story different child and we just couldn't say no.  So we are in the looooong process of adopting our second now and about to begin the process with our third.

You have to be able to love and give completely to these children no matter the out come.  My only suggestion is don't believe everything the workers tell you.  Keep some realistic guard up but don't allow that to stop your love.

Answer 7

We foster-to-adopted.

It took about 4 months to go through the training and certification (that included us moving to a new house during the process).  We did several temporary fosters while waiting for a long term placement.  About a year after getting certified, we had two little boys placed with us and eventually adopted them 10 months after than.  All in all, it took two years from start to finish.  

Our experience was relatively painless.  I don't know how common our experience was, but none of the horror stories you sometimes hear really came to pass.  Yes, there were bumps in the road, but it was worth it.  

- Don't fret about the home study and the inspections.  These sound bad, but are really pretty painless.  Be honest with the questionaire and interviewers.  If the inspections turn up any problems, fix them, but most of it is common sense (smoke alarms, chemicals locked away, etc).

- There is a lot of paper work to manage, both to maintain your fostercare license and relating to the kids.  All medical stuff has to be documented and sent into the caseworker, monthly status reports, etc.

- Document EVERYTHING.  If the child has diaper rash... keep a record.  If they fall down and cut themselves... include it in your status report.  

- We had some 'hairy' moments while waiting to see if we would be able to adopt.  Our kids were 'legal risk' when initially placed with us and there were several times when we didn't know the outcome of the case.  Be realistic about things, don't 'hold back', but accept that there is "risk" involved.

- Keep in contact with the caseworker, the CASA worker, the attorney ad lidem, etc. and don't let them forget about the case.  They will often only pay attention to a case when they must.  It isn't that they don't care or are incompetent, they are just all loaded with heavy case loads and the 'squeeky wheel' concept really does work.

Answer 8

I can only stress that you make sure the child is in foster care for a reason!  Many states have been exposed for foster care corruption.  They are taking children from good families and stringing the parents along long enough to terminate their parental rights so they can adopt them out to get $$$ from the government.  Don't take the caseworkers words about it, if you have to investigate it yourself!

Answer 9

It is very hard to adopt from foster care.  I tried many times, and foster care agencies tend to lean towards parents that are how should i say....have money!!  Its not fair, you want a child, and you can't have one, yet someone wont give you a child because you don't have money.

Answer 10

Meggie,

I myself am starting to go through the process as well.  yahoo groups has a foster care support group on line as well and i've been able to get some insight there.

I'm looking forward to seeing hte answers posted.

Answer 11

Yes....I did a kinship placement/foster parent for 1 1/2 years and then adopted...it was a long road but well worth it.

Both parent voluntarially terminated.  No one is the biological family stood up or asked any questions until they found out adoption was the children's only option.

With it close like it was for me.....knowing the family you can get a lot of daggers and hear mean things.  They attempted to contest my adoption...because I wasn't blood....but the only one that took responsibilty and was raising these children......

after they failed their home study they pulled their petition.

It was well worth it.  I love my kids more then anything in this world and never thought I could be or would be where I am now in life.  Children have a way of changing you into a better person.  I never thought I wanted kids, and now can't picture my life with out them.

Good luck..