Has anyone here decided not to have children, and why?

Question

My husband and I have been trying to conceive for 7 months now. Last night I started wondering why on earth would I want a little pink squirmy cute thing that spews and screams and poops and takes up all my energy?? What am I thinking??

Biology is a strange thing! :-)

Answer 1

I decided not to have children because I wanted to travel a lot. I knew that it would not be fair to my children to 1) not travel so I could properly care for them and maybe have some resentment about that or 2) take them with me or leave them with a caretaker which would not be fair to them either.

It's odd because people assume I don't like children when actually I value them too much to just have them with no regard to what would happen afterward. I didn't want myself or them to feel like we got the short end of the stick.

Answer 2

Yes. too noisy. too expensive. too busy.

Answer 3

I knew from very young that I most likely did not want children.   I always dreamed of a life of adventure and travel.  As well, my mother is a very cruel person, and I think this was a very defining relationship that also influenced me.  I met and married my husband when I was young, and was very frank with him about my desires.  He said it was all fine with him.  

Anyway, it is 29 yrs later, and we are truly one of the happiest couples we know.  We have lived on 3 continents, and will be moving to a fourth soon.  Together we have made our dreams come true, and I am happy with my decision, as is my husband.

Just because you don't have children, doesn't mean you don't have children in your life.  I am friends with all the kids in my current neighbourhood, as well as favourite auntie to my nieces and nephews.  It is like being a grandparent.  You get them, and then when you are tired of them, they go home with their parents.  

All I can say is search your soul.  Review your childhood fantasies about what your life would be like.  Really discuss this with your husband, and what his childhood fantasies were.  No point in getting to 40  and him taking off because he has to have kids.  You may as well face this now, as it will always be a sticking point.

Answer 4

Your thought process is probably ticking over really fast with your hormones.

They dont do what you described forever darl.

Even when babies, they can be funny little things. The smiles (when they start to) can make your day. Learning a new form of communicating. + the unconditional love - there is nothing like it.

They are of course hard work. We are our kids' first & best teachers

I'm sad, but excited my own are growing into their next phases

I hope you can conceive and hope your options are with you. (maybe even adoption?)

Good luck darl, whatever you decide.

Answer 5

I'm sure your husband is thrilled with your sudden change of mind for no reason.

Answer 6

Don't worry a lot of people think like you do they don't want kids either. I myself choose not to have kids, I don't have anything against kids because we were all kids once but that is not the life for me. You have to give way to much time and energy for kids not to mention the money as well.