Has anyone here ever felt torn in different directions......?

Question

& at times a little unsure of what is right or wrong with gender issues? Or are your beliefs set in stone?

For example- Having read alot of Feminists say that being a career woman, being pro-choice, being equal to men, not being a submissive wife & also having the same opportunities as men, sometimes I can understand their points & agree with them.

Then when some men say that women are better off if they are nice, submissive wives & stay at home looking after the kids and house, I can understand that as well & in part, agree with it except for being submissive. For me, being nice, respectful and having an agreeable personality makes sense(without being a complete doormat).

Also, there are men's rights as well, which I can understand & agree with for the most part.

Am wondering whether anyone else sees gender issues in shades of grey rather than being so black and white and only being on one side? Also, have you ever changed your mind about any specific gender issues?

Answer 1

Being a liberal feminist, I can agree with all those points - same oportunities, different choices and it is impossible to achieve equality unless men's rights are equal too - you can't have the word 'equal' without talking about 2 things.  To me equality is a line - you can can go off it in either direction but that line has to be there as a guiding post to help you judge the shades of grey.  If I tried to do it any other way, I would become mired in confusion :-)

Answer 2

I'm not sure why people equate someone's personal beliefs on abortion as being a feminist issue. I think it's personal issue and totally private.

However, it's all about choice. If one likes staying home with the children then that's great, more power to you. My question is, with all the women who must work these days just to make ends meet, does that make them feminists or just caring about their children's well being. To me these are all personal decisions and have nothing to do with feminisim.

Nevetheless, of course I consider myself a feminist , as did my mother consider herself one, and even my grandmother who was the first girl to wear pants at her school, ooooo.lol

The definition of evil is limiting someone's avenues and I think that has happened in our culture for most of its existance.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being nice and agreeable, and in fact, shows you have good manners. THAT is what helps you get ahead in the world, not how masculine you pretend to be. We're all human and you can fare well in life without acting like the conventional male.

Zen: good point, but I still think men are getting the long end of the stick still. In a study on a bunch of third graders, they alocated exactly the same amount of time and attention to the girls in the classroom as the boys. They found that after only a very short time, the boys started complaining that the girls were getting 'all the attention'. This study shows how males are focused on so much in our society and when the status quo is shifted, then they whine and complain, as what is happening now on a larger scale. But this is good because it means we're making progress! So, give him some cheese with that whine!

Answer 3

No. My Beliefs Are Solid.

Answer 4

Yes - you can sometimes tell by the way I answer stuff - some have labeled it too "PC".

The main thing I always strive for is empathy - I try to put myself in others people's shoes to see how I would feel if the situation stated actually happened to me in order to understand maybe where they are coming from with their thoughts.

And then there are times when I simply react in a positive or negative way.

I think it is hard for a man these days, especially it seems between the ages of 15 to 40. Most of our generation has been about women's rights, the rights of people of all races, and homosexuals. I think for the most part men are feeling excluded, and that's why they think we are receiving preferential treatment.

When people feel ignored they lash out, and men seem to feel they are being ignored except when they do something WRONG.

Answer 5

Only in a couple of instances. For the most part, my beliefs are solid, but they all fall into grey areas.

Answer 6

I'm pretty set in most of my views, it takes a lot, and I mean a LOT, to make me revamp one of my views, however there are some views I will NEVER change (such as the fact that women deserve all the rights and opportunities that men have and many others along those lines, I'm also set in stone about being pro-choice, mostly because I WAS pro-life until I actually had a kid and found out just how hard pregnancy can be).

I'm not shut off to other's view points, but they better have some 100% unquestionable and confirmed proof if they expect me to revamp my views.