Has anyone lost a child?

Question

I lost my 5 year old and Im struggling for a way to cope. any advice or experiences would be really helpful!

Answer 1

oh you poor love i cannot imagine anything worse than losing a child how very sad for you.i have a friend who lost her 5 year old she has never got over it but time has helped and i am sure this will be the case for you.keep all your memories close to your heart you will never forget your lovely little girl.i wish you peace for the future.

Answer 2

Na but I wish ma Mufa lost me sometimes!

I am really sorry to hear about your loss but why are you on here if you have lost a child again?

Hmm :S

IU'd say go talk to a close mate about your loss someone you can trust.

Answer 3

I don't have any advice or experience here, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for your loss. I hope everything gets better for you.

Answer 4

omg, u poor thing! although i havent (thankfully) lost a child - im only 14, lol, it mite help by communicating with god more maybe like praying etc. many condolensces. x*x

Answer 5

sorry for u loss

try remembering all the fun u had together. after i lost my baby i slept in her room for the first year

i hope u feel better soon

Answer 6

I am really sorry for your loss.

My brother lost his daughter Kaci-Lee to cot death when she was 7 weeks old.

That was 5 years ago now.

He says the best advice he has is to talk. To loved ones, counsellor, doctor. Anyone.

He never liked to talk about it and he said it ate away inside of him. It tore his relationship apart with his then partner (kaci's mother).

Though they had 2 other children. Caleb who was Kaci's twin, and later Mia, who was born 16 months later. They never talked, so they drifted apart. Each held their own grief in.

My brother says it takes time. You will never get over it, or forget, but it does get easier. And you can think back and smile at the nice memories instead of crying all the time.

Good luck to you

Answer 7

I didn't loose one that was born yet but i lost one when i was 3 months pregnant its hard and i am sorry for your loss.  

Answer 8

I am so sorry for your loss.  

Answer 9

I cannot give you any advice as i have never lost anyone that young and innocent but I can give you my heartfelt sympathy.  Time heals.

Answer 10

ya i lost a son,it never go`s away but with time you can put it to the back of your mind,,,good luck to you xx

Answer 11

i lost my daughter she was still born 25 years ago you dont forget them but it does get easier as time goes on i think you need to speak to some councilers about this there are some very good ones about sorry for your loss

Answer 12

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.  I have never lost a child, but I have lost people that I have been really close to and it's not easy!  I have never really gotten over it, but it has become a lot easier to deal with.  Please get some counseling.  It will help you out tremendously.  Good luck!

Answer 13

Im so very sorry x x x i never had the chance to enjoy my child as i miscarried so i cant relate in the same way with you. but you should see someone to talk about this and find out your  best way of coping. I have 2 children and they are my world and the thought of loosing them devestates me. my heart goes out to you and the family x*x

Answer 14

everyone grieves through this process differently.

it takes time, a long time and there is nothing that anyone can do to make that time any easier.

my friend lost her son when he was 5 years old and he was cremated and they scattered his ashes in his most favourite place in the world, which was at the snow, they found a large rock at the top of thredbo and scattered him there.

i dont know whether your son was buried or cremated but either way, know in your heart that he would have wanted you to be happy and he lives in you.

those memories will never go away and he will always be in your heart.

good luck and i am so sorry for your loss.

xx emily

PS: i lost both of my parents in an avalanche three years ago and i know how hard it is to say goodbye to them, i only knew my parents for a short 17 years and i never got to say goodbye to them or tell them how much i loved them, but i know that it was in gods plan for them to leave me and my sisters here, god obviously needed their help in heaven. i like my my friend, scattered their ashes in the snow.

Answer 15

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss.

I myself have lost a child and I understand how you must be feeling. My son wasn't as old as your child, he was three. He died of leukemia, about a month ago now and I too am struggling with how to cope. I am a psychiatrist and have had to take time off work because I'm just not up to it right now. I miss my son every day and would do anything to have him back. When you lose a child, you don't ever get over it. You just have to cope the best way you can.

The only way I've found to cope is by really keeping his memories alive. Talking about him, looking at pictures of him and making videos in his memory. I make sure to set some time aside to think about him and to talk to somebody else about him. Obviously I still get upset when I think of him and I still miss him, but I have to carry on. I used to feel like giving in totally and it is a struggle - but I have other children to be strong for.

I hope that you can find some way to cope, any way. Best of luck.

Answer 16

I'm so sorry. It must be so difficult.

Dealing with the loss of a child can be one of the hardest things in life to have to deal with. There is nothing that can be said to make it all go away and the way you feel is normal. No matter how you are feeling, it is normal. If you lose a child you will be dealing with it just now, and years from now, you still will be. The fact is, it is a loss. The other fact is, it will always be a loss and your child will always be missed. The only difference is, with time, it does get easier to deal with.

You will do everything to bury your emotions. You think if you don't you will go crazy. If you have been seen as strong before, you will feel you have to be that way now. But you couldn't be more wrong.

Once you have seen all the doctors, you will have learned a lot. The most important thing to know is that it's ok. It is ok to get mad. It is ok to be angry, it is ok.

There are stages to grief and they are all very normal. The stages of grief include shock, crying, isolation, preoccupation, physical distress, anger, guilt, regret, depression, acceptance and hope.

It is very important to grieve. Someone explained to me, imagine if you had to sneeze and you held you nose when you did. Well the air still comes out some way, some how, whether it is out of your month, or your ears, and so on. The same goes for grief.

If you try to bury the grief and emotions, it will still come out some way, some form; no matter how hard you try, it will still come out. So, the best thing you can do for yourself is allow it to happen: cry, cry, cry; let it out, don't hold it in, it's ok, really. When you do just let it out, you think you will never stop; you cry and cry.

Remember, you are never alone. Grief is natures way of healing a broken heart.

Hope I helped.

Answer 17

I am sorryfor your loss.

My best friend lost her son- my godson- in dec 2006 from cancer. He was 1 month off his 5th birthday, same age as my daughter.

Of course your struggling to cope. I dont think it will ever 'get better' but you just continue. I would advise a local support group, although my friend never did that and she still struggles. She used anit depressants for a few months but they havent worked well for her. To be honest she is still struggling but goes on because she has to- she has 3 other children. i dont think anybody can help you, you have suffered the worst thing there is for a parent and i hope you have wonderful memories and make the most of them and continue to keep your child alive in your heart...make scrapbooks and such things and talk about them all the time. tell us more about your child- your favourite memories, your best holidays...think about his or her favourite tv, clothes etc etc...what made your child your child. ?how much they touched your live and how sweet they were....and how loved they were int his world.

Answer 18

I am so so sorry you've went through that - I can only imagine how you're feeling.

  My mother in law lost a son many years ago. She doesn't often talk about it but when she has a drink it tends to come up. She said it's the kind of thing you never truly get over, but you do learn to live with it. Just try not to bottle up your feelings and don't be afraid to ask for some support from those around you - talking about it may help. Try not to block out those who are still important to you.

There are many support groups for parents who have lost children, i'd recommend looking into it - being around people who understand can help in many ways.

Answer 19

Sorry to hear that. Perhaps books on bereavement will help you or you should ask your doctor to put you in touch with support groups cause Ive always found the best help you can get is from those who have experienced the same things.  

Answer 20

I haven't lost a child, but I lost my brother when he was 12...he drowned. My mother was devasted (of course) this happened six years ago and she still isn't the same. She has declined into a life of drug addiction and despair. I am pregnant now with a boy and she often slips and says that it's her son I'm pregnant with. It breaks my heart. Please if anything....please get get counseling for it. My mother didn't...I think she just gave up on life....please don't do it...please don't.  

Answer 21

I am soo sorry for your lost! I have never lost a child and couldn't imagine what your going through you should find a support group near your home for parents that have lost a child I'm sure you'll find it very helpful..take care

Answer 22

I lost my little sister i understand its not my child but it was painful, she died of menegitis.

I began praying worshipping more often and remembering my sister was in a nicer place and God was protecting her.

I honstly believe you will see your child in the life hereafter.

Remember the good times.

Keep Believing!