Has anyone of you experiencing this?

Question

I am a new mom..my baby is only 4 months old, unfortunately i have to go to work to be able to give her what she needs. Couldnt find any good baby sitter so i have no other choice..is to take her to her grandma who live an hour away from me, so now i will only going to see her on the weekends. I felt so bad, couldnt concentrate at work feeling like I'm abadoning my child as mother. That i should be the one who she sleep with at night..fix her bottle and all..but its too scary to live her to stranger.. and plus the financially i cant make it. I know she is taking care off.. but i just feel bad that i should be the one suppose to be there..am i a bad mom?

Answer 1

Drive to get her.  It's a pain, but it's well worth it.

Secrets of Truth -- That kind of self-righteousness is staggering.  How do you know she wasn't raped? Or abandoned by the dad after the birth? Or if he died? How do you know she's not already working multiple jobs or ridiculous hours? Why on earth would you attack somebody you don't even know, when you don't even know their circumstances?

Answer 2

No you are not a bad mom!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's so weird how motherhood makes us feel guilty.  You are doing what you can to provide for your baby

BE VERY PROUD OF YOURSELF!  Maybe 1 night after work you can go to your mothers or mother in laws home and sleep over if it's possible so you will feel better

Good luck! :)

Answer 3

don't feel bad your trying hard and you are doing what really is best for her. she's in a loving environment that you trust. but if you feel so bad talk to the grandmother about a solution, maybe she can help you find a job in the area and housing so you can be closer and spend more time with your daughter.

Answer 4

ppfttt. the fact that youre worrying so much proves that youre not a bad mom. but  you do wut you hafta do

Answer 5

Wow.  "secrets of truth" is a total b***h.

Geez.  Obviously, your current situation is not ideal.  Sure, in a perfect world, the guy you were seeing wouldn't let you raise your kid alone.  The world isn't perfect, but we do whatever we can.  When live dumps you in the toilet, you need to learn how to flush.

One thing you might want to look into is building up some trust with people who are closer.  One of the guys at my work has a wife who stays at home with their kids.... and another woman just had a baby, so the baby goes with the guys wife for the work day.  It's a good situation.  There are two single mothers who live in my apartment complex.  One works at night, the other during the day.  When one is at work, they leave their child with the other.... which works out because one is 2 and the other is 3, so they play with each other and keep each other occupied....

I'm just saying that you need to look harder to change your situation.  It is what it is right now...  but part of being a parent is doing whatever you have to do first, then work on figuring out better solutions.

Answer 6

No you're not a bad Mom.....but I would be looking for a sitter closer to home. You need to bond with her.

Personally driving an hour each way to pick her up every night is worth the trip.

Answer 7

can your mom not meet you half way that way it would only be an 1/2 hour?there is no excuse to just go see her on weekends i would never do that.not sayin ur a bad mom but thats kind of abandinment on ur part.your mom shouldnt be raising your baby you should.even if you have to drive the hour that is what you need to do.you have to sacrifice when your a mom.i know you r doing what u feel is best and u could still get ur mom to watch the baby but when you get off from work i would be going to get her!!!!!!!

Answer 8

the only thing the baby needs is food, clothing, and shelter.  let dad work & raise  your own child.

Answer 9

To me yes, there's no excuse for that kind of c**p. Thats why when people decide to lay down and get pregnant they need to have an action plan in place if a child results from their encounter. The baby isn't going to know you as mom....your going to be spending less time with your baby than a babysitter would! Whatever....having a kid to let someone else raise is ridiculous, and I feel sorry for your baby not you.

You caused this situation, I'd be working in a daycare where the baby would be, so I at least could see her, as well as working a second job...thats what I would do. Not toss my kid off on someone else. To me yes, that is being a bad mom. It isn't being a mom at all! I would suggest working 2-3 jobs while you aren't raising your kid...to have the finances to get her back and never toss her to the side again. I don't know what else to say....thats a disgrace to moms everywhere, and especially to you baby.

Answer 10

You are not a bad mum, but I would try and make sure this situation is not prolonged. Your mum helping  out is great but start making plans so that you and your daughter can be together. You will really feel it if your daughter starts calling her grandma "mum".

Answer 11

Why don't you find another job & move closer to your mother so you won't have to leave your baby?

Is there a daycare by your house? I know they're a little pricey but maybe you can get on Child Care assistance from Welfare.

Do what you have to do to be with your baby everyday, your baby is only 4 months old and needs YOU.

Answer 12

Have you looked into government assistance?   You shouldn't have to give up your baby.  Your missing out on bonding with her and raising her the way you want her raised.  If it lasts to long you will notice her crying for grandma and not mommy.  Anyway you can just move in with Grandma too? Find a job out there?

Answer 13

Can't you drive the hour to get her each night? People do have 2-hour commutes; it's not a nice thing, but I'd guess it's far better than being separated from your daughter all week.  Maybe you could stay overnight at Grandma's during the week? Or how about inviting Grandma to stay with you? Couldn't you get a referral for a good babysitter through a friend?

I would find a way to rearrange it somehow.  Honestly I'd rather have my kid in daycare than only see them two days a week, especially if this is going to be a long-term plan.

I'm certainly not saying you're a bad mom.  We all do the best we can! I'm just saying in your situation I'd keep working on finding a better plan.