Has anyone on here searched for and met their real family? if so how did it go?

Question

i am starting the process of searching for my real mum and wanted to find out about other peoples experiences

Answer 1

Yes.  Wanted to find my bio mom. She was presumably located, but wanted nothing to do with me, therefore pretended she wasn't her.  So, was able to locate bio dad (they were young and split up after I was born).  Met him, but actually find him rather annoying.  don't consider him close, or even part of my family.  I have not stayed in touch w/him.  I am now 42 and happy I found him, but really did it just becaseu I was curious. Yes, I look like him.  I was adpoted as a baby and had a great childhood provided my adoptive parents.  Go for it...just be prepared...good luck

Additional:  How come those of us who didn't have a "joyful reunion" or did not have any bond w/thier bio families get a thumbs down?  That's just how it went for us...the "asker" wanted to know, good or bad, right?

Answer 2

My aunts daughter that was given up for adoption at birth contacted her mum over the internet after 32 years. They havnt met yet as my aunt now lives in america and her daughter is in ireland but they have spoke on the phone!! Good luck with findin ur mum x

Answer 3

I met my birthmother when I was 19, it went quite well, though she is strange, we have stayed in contact but it is very limited...phone calls several times a year and birthday/Christmas cards.

I found my father on April 1st of this year. We are still exchanging emails and he has told his son about me (he had no idea) It is going slowly but well.

Good luck with your search. I would recommend seeing a counsellor as you go through the process.

Answer 4

I found my bdaughter in 2001, she was almost 30, I wish I hadn't waited so long. She was glad I found her.

Answer 5

Well.... for me I just met my mom about 2 weeks ago. I was given up for adoption when I was a baby I and my mom were addicted to drugs, she was a severe addict she had two other kids my bro and sis. We were all split up. Well her step mother went to the same church as me and we have for years. I just found out exactly who she was and she contacted my mother for me and gave her my number and she called ! It's such a raw emotion I can't explain I wanted to know her all my life She looks like my twin its ridiculous. I look like noone in my adopted family at all I don't even really get along with them to much. I felt like a strong connection to my birth mother like she was my rib We talk twice a week I'm going to visit her in two weeks at her house in Baltimore.Then I will meet my brother and sister and my nieces and nephews. My experience has meant the whole to me, people warned me to be careful and all but my heart is amazingly happy. I've had alot of bad things happen to me the past few years and I felt like I prayed to find her because I thought she was dead. Shes doing well no more drugs been clean since 96 she has a house 7 grandbabies including my son. A house a job in a hospital and all. I mean she came up from where she was considering you know and I feel like we need each other I dont care about the past I care about her I couldnt help that like he second I saw her it was like wow there I am literally. I felt this emotion I never felt before you know. Like a calm cool type thing weird to describe I feel blessed n lucky to have my prayer answered. She wants to be in me and my sons life and I wanna be in hers we decided were taking it slow but I still feel happy and overjoyed.

Answer 6

i found mine.  it was a huge relief, actually.

i adore my afamily, but i still needed to search.  i'm so glad i did it.  good luck.

Answer 7

I searched for and found my first mom last summer.  We met for the first time in August.  It went very, very well.  The first time we met seemed very normal.  We e-mail quite a bit and we had another visit earlier this spring.  So far, while it has been a rather emotional experience, it has also been very positive.  

Good luck to you.

And please come visit at

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Answer 8

Yes I have and it was awful. I found out nothing about them and I felt completely degraded. The people who adopted me are my real parents.

Answer 9

I was adopted by abusive people. When I did find my birth-family it was a huge relief. A lot of the things that are different about me suddenly made sense. However  besides that, meeting them was a huge disappointment. Being adopted was definitely the lesser of two evils.

I think what I am getting at is that, you can ask your question but the only answer you will get is if you go ahead and find them. Stop the wondering and try. It wont change the path of your life, only add to it.

Good luck becoming whole :)

Answer 10

my sister found her birth mother and they got along well after but it did put out her adoptive mother because she was secretive about it. If you do go through with it keep your adoptive parents 'in the loop' its the least they deserve

Answer 11

I  have found my first family - but haven't met most of them yet.

It's been a slow and emotional ride - my mother was forced to give me up by her mother - and she went on to marry my father just 6 months after my birth. (they've had 3 more kids) She's been through a lot - and not a very emotionally stable person.

I found & met an older sister - also an adoptee - and we are so very very alike. We have a great relationship.

Search and reunion is an absolute roller coaster ride - let me assure you - be prepared for anything - BUT - I've never felt calmer - for the fact that after 38 yrs - I finally know my truth.

Here are some search hints - if you haven't already started -

First - add your details to the registries here

http://www.isrr.net/

http://registry.adoption.com/

Check here for information on your state records here -

http://adopteerights.net/

(click on the page marked 'Searchers' down the left hand side)

Check here for search help - and links to free search angels -

http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org/

And check here for any support - it's the best online forum for adoptees I've found -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/

All the very best with your search.

Answer 12

My brother and I were adopted at the ages of 7 and 8. We new our parents and tried to forget about them becuase of the way they treated us. Then at about the age of 19 my parents found us. I tell you what it all depends on the parent and why kind of parent they are because mine came in and walked out on us. It hurt us so badly we had to go back to counceling again and redew everything all over then again at the age of 26 they came back and walked out on us again. So I'm going to say do not let you shield down. Keep it up and becarfule of what you do when you meet them for the first time. I love my parents and always will but the question I always ask myself is will they ever want to be my parents in my life or even apart of my life? Well good luck with finding them.

Answer 13

I found out i was adopted at the age of 40, I had no idea. finding out turned my world upside down but decided to turn it into a positive experience by searching for my bio family. i had some real lucky breaks, and after 3 months of searching through online records accidently found a sister who was also searching for her mum (our mum) she had also been put up for adoption as a baby. i can't tell you how emotional it was but i was so lucky as my sister and i have formed a real close bond. she had only recently found our mum, and helped to arrange for my mum and i to meet. i was delighted to find i look just like her - two peas in a pod - and she's lovely too!  i also have a brother, who knew nothing about me, but he also accepted my existence. two months after meeting my bio family i moved to usa from england, and am still in touch with them all, along with lots of new nephews and neices. sadly i've virtually lost touch with my adoptive family now, but we were never that close anyway. it was a huge emotional roller coaster for all involved but i was lucky - it could have really backfired on me and it could have caused a lot of hurt for a lot of people but i think it's worth taking the risk, go into it with your eyes wide open, be aware of the possible pitfalls and how they may affect you, and others concerned. if you decide to go for it i wish you the very best of luck x

Answer 14

I answered a similar question a few months ago and here was my reply:

I found my birth family in 2004 after years of wondering about them. I got soo many questions answered but then I still felt a lil empty and they still seem like strangers to me. The best thing that happened was I rekindled my relationship with my sister and finally met my nieces & nephews. Also was able to get my medical history which was a plus esp. b/c we are currently expecting our 1st child.

Answer 15

YES! I have been in reunion since 2001. Its been healing, growing, I have found an inner peace and in my opinion it was well well well worth it.

...now if I could JUST get my birth certificate.