Has anyone read Of Mice and Men?

Question

i need some feedback about my introduction paragraph for my essay for school. its supposed to have a hook, background info, and a thesis. the theme of my story is loneliness. Here it goes:

This classic is set in the 1930s California and tells of an unlikely pair of optimistic laborers who work in the dusty vegetable fields. Their names are Lennie Small and George Milton. George has been watching out for Lennie ever since his Aunt Clara Died because Lennie Has a metal disability that makes his brain operate like a four year old. Once George played a trick on Lennie telling him to jump into the lake and he did. The only thing was Lennie didn't know how to swim so he almost drowned. Lennie didn't remember George was kidding so when he was pulled out of the water, he thanked George over and over for saving his life. George felt so guilty he never played jokes on Lennie anymore. He never thought it possible being alone, without Lennie, but he's about to find out.

That's what i have. I'm not sure if a thesis is in there though so if any of you have ideas help would be awsome :D

Answer 1

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Answer 2

I did a similar essay last year when I was in yr 10 and have done the exam on it this year. I like the ending of your paragraph, it leaves it open ended and leaves the reader full of anticipation. However there are a few ways to improve what you have. Include some quotes from the book for example when Lennie jumps in the river - take the quote of what George told Slim about it. Try to let your work flow a little more, it sounds a bit to rigid and set - pick one point and stick to it; don't change the subject, elaborate on what you have. You can talk about the place Soledad (I think that's it) where they stay in California means loneliness in Spanish. By the way George and Lennie go to work on a ranch, not vegetable fields. You can take the quote that George tells Lennie all the time - that ranchers are the loneliest guys around. Talk about how each character goes through phases of loneliness. Hopes this helps and good luck!

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