Has anyone read the book "A$hole: How I got rich and happy by not giving a s*** about you" by Martin Kihn

Question

What did you think? Is he taking things too far or is he right that it's a far better and more effective option than being a nice guy? Are the pitfalls of being too nice greater than any pitfalls of being objectionable and obnoxious? Should we care what people think of us?

Answer 1

I haven't read the book but I did read the the first few pages and from what Martin describes he was in desperate need to reassess his own self-worth.

You must understand that what other people think does not define who you are unless you let it. You can't please everyone and it's a waste of time to try. So know yourself and know your boundaries but don't let others walk all over you. All you'll be doing then is saying 'I have no self worth use me as you please' That will never make anyone respect you but on the other extreme you can't be like 'f**k-off world, I'll do as I please and if I hurt you tough S**t.' If you are too 'nice' or too self- serving you will lose in the end.

I believe the trick is to find a balance between respecting others and respecting yourself. The truth is people need each other.

Make discerning choices when it comes to friendships and significant others and you'll be a happier person for it.

Answer 2

Well, I haven't read the book, but I do have an opinion on the subject.

I remember reading a while back an article about a well known criminal psychologist who gave a lecture at a large police conference where he surprised everyone by displaying large photos of America's top CEO's alongside the likes of Manson, Dahmer, and others. He then went on to analyze how the personalities of the business leaders matched the archetype of a sociopath.

That said, there is a far more distinct advantage at work here than can be summed up by the obnoxious/nice guy comparison. Objectivity, logical assertion, confidence and an ability to see past social mores are all skills that greatly help people in achieving because they are able to see the facts from outside the contextual quagmire of society and acceptance. All these things can be done without reverting to the personality described in the book's title. In fact, a person can still be the nice guy, donating time and money to causes they really care about, while still planning ahead and structuring their time so that they can gain the maximum benefit from it.

Answer 3

There is being extremely nice while enforcing limits on what one will put up with---and there is being a doormat. Sometimes the doormats prefer to see themselves as caring people doing the right thing, and their reward is being victimized by the a$$holes of life! Actually, they could be more assertive, see the a$$holes coming from a mile away, sidestep them, and they wouldn't need to consider becoming one themselves.