Has anyone suffered from their siblings being favoured by their parents?

Question

I have moved back to home recently and noticed more then ever, how much my parents make an effort with my sister and brother but not me. I have never felt any support with them, im trying to change my career and feel they dont support me, but didnt support me in my 1st career,but have supported my sister through 2careers already and collage twice( i mean emotional support not finalcial) they never say nice things to me and often forget im there. My sister like to make coments about how she is the favourite daughter and they never correct her, and wen i have spoke to them about this they laugh and say im being silly. Which infuriates me as im not a child anymore!

Is this normal in familys, or am i being paroniad?

Thanks

Answer 1

nah, i kno how u feel but i got around it

Answer 2

It happens all the time.

The last thing you will ever be able to do is convince them that they are doing it. They will never see it the way you do and you will beat yourself up trying to make them see it the way you see it.  So don't.

If moving back home put you in a position of feeling less worthy and unwelcome then you do not need to be there. And it sounds to me like your sister does not need to be there either since she has been through careers and college twice.

Answer 3

yes but if thats happend to u just prove to your parents that you are there favourite!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hoped i helped

-Music Queen-

Answer 4

if you notice that they are treating you differently than your sister--and not just differently because you are a different person but different as in they favor her over you, then you are probably right and you are not being paranoid.

The ugly fact of life is:  

parents do like one or two of their kids better than others.  It doesn't mean they love the children any less, it just means they like one of the children more. Did you ever as a little kid ask your parents "do you like me?" and they say "but honey, I love you."  and you said "I know that, you're supposed to love me.  But do you like me?"  It sounds funny and naieve but really there is a lot of truth to that little senario.

the thing is, they aren't supposed to show that they have a preference.  

Set up a special time to talk to your parents again and give them specific examples of how they favor your sister and brother over you--no generic "you love her more or you treat her better".  Tell them specifically how they treat you differently--"You didn't support me in my first career (define what you mean by support).  You aren't supporting me in my career change.  But when sis changed careers you couldn't stop talking about how wonderful she was."  

Really talk to them about it and how it makes you feel.  Tell them that it builds a wall between you and your siblings and that it builds a wall between you and them and makes you feel like an outsider in your own family.  and don't accept them blowing you off.

Then let it go.  Accept what they are willing to give to you.  Be disappointed, be sad, be angry, then let it go.  Put some distance between you and them (physical or emotional--whatever works for you).  Stop trying to win their approval or love or compete with your siblings for their attention.  Just keep them informed on what you're up to and build your life the way you want it and don't treat your kids when you have them the way your parents treat  you.

Answer 5

Same thing here.On the plus side you learn to be very independent which benefits you in the long run.  It is sad that parents do this but for some reason they do.  When it is pointed out to them it is easier to  laugh it off and say the person is silly rather than admit they are doing it.  I finally showed  the person by taking notes for a year of examples and the dates.  Hard to laugh it off when there is proof.

Just learn to do for yourself and know that it will benefit you in the long run.

Good Luck in your new career!