Has anyone used a friend as a surrogate mom?

Question

I can't have any more children and my new husband wants a biological child; a good friend in another state has offered to be a surrogate and we've discussed the legal, financial and emotional circumstances pretty much in depth. At birth, she would relinquish rights and I would do a step parent adoption. Has anyone had experience with this

Answer 1

You should first make certain it is legal in your state. My state will not uphold surrogate contracts.   Secondly, have a lawyer with experience in surrogacy help you with your contract.  They are way more familiar with the pitfalls that can occur than you probably are.

Answer 2

Hey! I haven't gotten experience in this but I would like to say that reading this question was so strange. I can't have biological children because of three genetic blood clotting disorders and my God-children's mother who lives out of state has offered to be our surrogate. I was thrilled/scared/many emotions. At the same time we worry because we obviously can't pack up and move for nine months and leave our jobs and everything. My husband and I have discussed all the circumstances and we're going through with it. I'm sorry I posted and couldn't answer your question but I wanted to wish you the best of luck with your choice. God bless you and your family.

Answer 3

the question is how will she concieve this baby and you should know that the bialogical mother can back out at any time if they so choose to no matter what they prommise or sighn

Answer 4

Would this friend be donating her egg as well?  Did you and  your husband  know you couldn't have any more children when you married? Surrogates don't always turn out rosey peachy, the surrogate could get attached and opt to keep the child she'd have even more right if the child is biological hers. Its easy for to say what she would do now but once she has carried the child for 9months and bonded with it, that could change. If you go this route I’d advise to get an anonymous egg donor and have this friend carry the child.

Answer 5

Go find a lawyer as soon as you can.  Also, you must talk to your friend about what she expects in terms of a relationship with the child after birth.  Will the child know that she carried him/her?

Unless she has been a surrogate before, she will need some serious counseling so she is prepared to deal with her feelings for the child after birth.  Especially if she is the biological mother.

Answer 6

Not personally no, but I have heard a lot of success stories after the initial bad experiences when surrogacy first started years ago.  I see you are being very careful with the legal aspects and I think you are wise.

A famous heart surgeon in South Africa had her sister-in-law carry her IVF babies for her (twins) and there were absolutely no problems at all.

Surrogacy was practised in Biblical days....