Has anyone with children adopted kids older than six? How has it turned out?

Question

I'm asking because I've heard the westermarck effect starts to wear off at about six years, iirc. Thus I'm thinking it might be better if one has kids and is going to adopt, to adopt younger kids.

Answer 1

I heard it is easier to adopt younger children because they don't know what happens yet is are also able to adopt to the new situation much easier. Older children can be also the same, depending on every individual but also harder because I also have seen that after a time, older children do not like to listen to their adoptive parents because they know, "they are not my parents" but this is also different with every child.

Answer 2

We adopted two biological siblings at ages 10 and 5.  We also have an older teenager.  Adopting older children has its own unique challenges because these kids aren't "clean slates".  The Westermarck effect really didn't factor into our decision.  If you are very concerned, you could adopt so that there is enough of an age spread.

BTW, kids are all doing fine.  Our bio-son had quite a bit of adjustment in the beginning, going from Spoiled Only Child to Big Brother very quickly.  And our 10 year old went from being the oldest to being the middle child with someone older who had more priveliges than she.  

But lately, my two older kids join ranks pretty quickly if they want something.. so there is that "tag team" effect.  They just act like... siblings.

Answer 3

The statistical probability of an adopted child meeting and falling in love with an unknown sibling is ....... what?

There has been one reported case of that in the last 70 years.

We adopted a 13 year old, so I guess no W-affect. I have enough to lose sleep over - this ain't it.

Answer 4

it is easier to adopt a younger child just because the kid really doesnt understand what is going on, but as a child ages, the fact that they have nobody to love them starts to affect them emotionally, but as long as your going to adopt a child as long as you care for and love that child then the age shouldnt make much difference.

Answer 5

I was sent to an adoption agency at four I remember everything. If you are looking for a child and are going too adopted I would suggest 0-2 because children aren’t dumb they remember and at those ages I believe a child will be confused and forget about their other parents but if you are going to adopted you have to make sure to give that child love. Other wise you might just ruin their lives. Personal experience.