Has it been worth the wait?

Question

I have not written one in a while… was this worth the wait for some of you?

Pure-Thoughts

Shattered spirit saying that

I am at fault for feeling human

Making sense of nothing save

the haunting feeling of no worth

I am stealing all my comfort

for another at the price

of someone who has seen far deeper

then the rest would dare traverse

All the little voices screaming,

“You could never aid in trouble!”

but to believe them would to be

giving up for all I live

Yes, I have never been important

Not too many care for me

for those few I do find in darkness

I wish to skies to let them in

and see a stronger side of me!

I lose each way I turn to take

With one comes sadness, pain, un-described

Down the other road I’d find

a lonely journey without hurting

To save myself or save another,

the question has beguiled my mind

So now I sit and hope for answers

but they have all abandon me

Just as hope would rather fly…

Answer 1

It was worth the wait. It works as it is, without any rhyme and barely a rhythm. The only thing i have to say is that on the second to last line it would be "abandoned". You forgot the "ed". The rest is perfect. Ahhh... do I sound about to fall asleep?

Answer 2

If I were a decent, compassionate human being, I would extol this honest expression of emotion and your willingness to make yourself vulnerable before your audience. Alas, I am a rotten, mean-spirited, grumpy old f**t, whose greatest pleasure is tearing the wings off flies. I feel there is a  fundamental dishonesty here. It takes the form of seemingly confessing to your own weaknesses. But what that tries to achieve is to defend and praise yourself. So I don't think the title is apt. I don't know if I am way off the mark, or if I'm the only one here - including yourself - who perceives a hidden truth.

Answer 3

Completely beautiful and so worth the wait that I read it three times.  There are so many eloquent and engaging lines.  I can relate to so many of them...."All the little voices screaming" is just one.  The last lines are so sad, when even "hope would rather fly".  So much pathos, and integrity as well, in this poem.  I have been greatly moved by your words.  Thank you.

Answer 4

It does have a rhythm... maybe not a rhyme! I love the energy though it seems to come from a place of pain... id anything wrong?

Answer 5

It seems we all have these committees in our heads telling us why we can't do or be what we are.  What a universal poem!

Your writing of this is, to me anyway, an affirmation of your strength and self knowledge.

Answer 6

I loved It, It was very much worth the wait. You are so worth waiting for.

Answer 7

It would be a little easier to read if you could break it up some, but I found the thoughts very interesting and they spoke directly to me.

I would like to see more of your poetry.

Answer 8

Yes, it is always worth the wait for me to read your stuff!

This was a little hard to follow and I hoped for something more structured seeing how you have grown in your poetry... but I know that it doesn't always need to be structured to be good! I will look for more of your stuff coming soon I hope!

Answer 9

I really like this one and can relate.

Who am I?

Where am I?

I'm lost, yet,

know just where I'm at

Do you know how I feel?

In my words can you relate?

Standing tall

Falling short in my shadow

I feel fine today, but,

what about tommorrow?

Dr. Jekyl, Mr. Hyde

Want to join me for the ride?

I'm my own worst enemy,

Will you be my friend?

Do you feel the pain?

Or is it just I?

I'm strong and bold

and speak my mind

And also soft

And have no spine

My words written at the age of 27. I'm now 41.

Answer 10

seems to me like you're depressed,

reminds me of when i am stressed.

your poem conveys your feelings well,

you must be in trouble as far as i can tell.

i also find you quite lonely,

hey, if you need a friend, contact my e-mail Id.