Has my husband cheated on me?

Question

I have recently found out my husband has been talking to women on the internet using web sites offering introduction to women

he has a profile which includes what kind of women he likes .I am big busted but he said he likes women with small b***s he also said he was prepared to travel for no strings s*x, I found messages from a women stating she had enjoyed there s*x chat the night beforeand it even mensions a forty year old wife (which I am) and he had replied telling her he had enjoyed looking at the pictures she had sent him of her having s*x with her husband..

there was also a picture of his p***s attached to one also I am so upset because I feel I can't talk to any one because I am so ashamed my husband has visited such smutty sites. please advise me what to do

I confronted him about this and he is adiment it was a moment of madness and he never cheated on me or met any one it was just the same a looking at p**n . I really love him and I want to believe him and since this he has really made an effort to make me feel special and loved but I can't get this out of my head and it is really spoiling what could be the perfect marriage incidently its our 11th wedding anniversary today I need some advice as to how I can forget I ever saw this

Answer 1

honey..there are diff types of cheating...just because they haven't had actual s*x doesn't mean he has cheated, because he has and he will continiue to....a moment of madness?? please give me a break..i watched my father cheat on my mother for 19 years...they divorced and he remarried and guess what?? he cheated on her too...a leopard doesn't change it's spots....move on unless it doesn't bother you that much

Answer 2

Hi nice lady. I'm on those web sites all the time so listen up. They are full of men, husbands and singles that "only wanna watch" you know what I mean? I mean they don't act. They don't show up to dates.... they just get on there to see if they still have a mojo or something... On those web sites there are the people who do and the people who don't. The people who don't are usually the ones into cybersex. The people who do... are not so much into cybersex.. because they would rather go out and get laid.. and they do.

So your hubbie, is most likely one of those dudes who don't. It is very common... but it is a lesson for you. Men are by there very nature poly-amorous. We don't like s*x. We love it. It is built into our manufacture and since we have a use by date... you ought not let that man juice go to waste. Don't get annoyed with him... go now and make it so he hasn't got any time for perving on the internet for fantasy lovers if it upsets you so much...

By the way... there is no need to be ashamed. Men are smutty. We love being smutty. I'm a self professed dirty little s**t... and I'm proud of it. At last I've found my repressed sexuality. I like being treated dirty.. it turns me on! You should try it for yourself before you dismiss him and admonish him for it.

Take a few photos of his p***s for yourself. It's fun.

Answer 3

Personally, I would not believe him. I believed my ex for too many years and he was lying to my face. He didn't confess this, you busted him.

I would see a counselor yourself so you can get some direction.

GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

Chances are he has arelady cheated on you multiple times.

u know he would never admit it.

once you start paying for s*x website you cross the line.

it's totally different from watchin and paying for p**n online.

so yea. srry to hear that. but ur husband is up to no good.

he loves you but wants to have some fun wit other females, it's your call

Answer 5

he hasn't physically cheated yet but has in many other ways make sure he quits the bs like he says he is closely watch  his on-line c**p make him go to counseling hopefully it is just a moment of madness but keep your guard up if it continues lose him

Answer 6

This is a sticky one:  What is really troubling about all of this is that there really is no reason not to believe that hubby's internet thing with this female would not have eventually progressed to an in-person liaison, had you not intervened.

Professional marriage counseling for the two of you might provide a means for you to get beyond all of this.  I wish you the best as to the ultimate outcome.

Answer 7

give me his cell number and i'll ask him

Answer 8

I say go to counseling. I don't think he has physically cheated yet but he is definitely headed that direction. Its good that he was honest when you confronted him but you don't want to let him off too easy. Let him know that this is not ok with you and that he needs to stop. Looking at p**n is different because there is no connection with the people he is watching. He has connections with these online women which makes it a different situation. Good luck

Answer 9

I agree with icy Gazpacho. Get on your grind and snap away. Men are visual creatures to the max. I am in a situation where I do all the on line flirting, hubby likes it though, cause it is just a form of release for me. I will never meet or arrange a rendezvous of any kind with any of them. My husband reaps all the benefits of my on line flirting. Get out the whip, handcuffs and go full on 9 1/2 weeks on his I wanna surf the net self. Make it interesting and try to keep him sexed. I have been married for ten years and I am kinda not your normal gal. I am a bohemian so I don't see things the way everyone else usually sees it. I keep my man exhausted he does not use computer unless it is to upload my photos. Little red riding hood outfits make the big bad wolf really hungry.

Good luck

Answer 10

You will never forget it and you will always have trust issues as a result of it, that is just the way it is.  You confronted him, which was the right thing to do, now let it go.  If he does something in the future that arouses your concern, confront him again.  You are well within your rights to do so, he was out of line, in my opinion doing what he did.  I don't think chatting with women on the net is wrong, even being married, but doing it behind your back & sending photo's is over the edge.  Goog luck.

Answer 11

I am going to be the devil right now since I am extremely jaded.  He probably cheated on you.  He sounds like a liar.  He has got a disease.  I recently ended it with a complete liar, she doesn't know truth from fiction anymore.  I want to strap her to a lie detector test so I can believe her.  As much as I try and want to believe her my friends and family say she can not be trusted.  To get peace of mind have him take a lie detector, if he has nothing to hide he will do it.  He will say "what, you don't trust me" and well you shouldn't after he did something like that. I am sorry I am so negative, I used to be such a positive person, someday it may return.  I hope everything works out for you and you have lasting love.

Answer 12

I don't think he's formally cheated just yet, but if you don't step in theres no guaranteeing he won't.

Answer 13

Well you don't want to ever forget, but you need to forgive if you want your marriage to work.

I don't know if he has cheated on you by having s*x...but yes I would say that he has cheated on you.  You guys should get counseling...

Answer 14

Personally I consider his actions definite cheating because had he not been caught I think he would have most likely met one or more of these women.  I really don't think he will stop what he is doing, but will most likely be more careful in not getting caught.  You have been married 11 years so it takes a lot of thinking to decide what your next step would be.  

It is not looking at the p**n that concerns me, but more the fact that he has a profile on those sites which is more than looking!  Also, the photos are very strange behavior for someone just perusing those sites even in a "moment of madness".  I feel very bad for you and I hope he becomes the husband you thought you married again soon.