Has this ever happened to you? I am the parent of a child with a disability.?

Question

My 24 yr old daughter has pervasive developement disorder.

Well, anyway, she fell through the cracks for years before we managed to get any help. Its like people seemed to think I was being an overprotective parent that didn't know what I was talking about. I even had one school tell me so in just so many words!

The only thing to ever convince them of a problem was to put her in regular classes at school and see her strugggle and fail.

THEN they finally admitted there was a problem...

After I had been trying to tell them for some 9 yrs!

Did you ever have a similar experience?

Answer 1

Yes we had problems trying to have our daughter assessed, about 4-5 years, the school would to us that our daughter is very smart but has trouble staying on task, easily distracted, was having major problems with hand writing, reading and organization skills were very poor.

When I asked if she should be tested they said no, she is not that bad, but every time we had parent teacher interviews, the teacher would complain that she was failing the class, despite my encouraging her to write and read when at home. We were also told that she is a delightful student as she was all ways willing to help others.

When she was in grade three a teacher rudely told me she need a bomb lit under her, needles to say I was furious, so I spoke to my doctor and asked what and if she could do anything, she organized for her to be seen by  child psychologist .

He felt our daughter had ADHD, ODD, as well as suffering form depression due her being severely bullied, about this time we pulled her out of this school, on our paediatrician advise.

At the new school the teacher who was also new to the school, and had also came from the old school our daughter had previously been too. She told me that she had heard about a student who was appears to be quite intelligent, but was not able to read or write very well etc It turned out to be our daughter, so she organized for her to be tested through the new school.

The assessment was in consultation with our  paediatrician, school psychologist, our daughter was diagnosed with ADHD, ODD and few months later she was also diagnosed as having Dyslexia, once we found out all this, the teacher, psychologist and I  found and used some strategies to help our daughter, while in class.

Within a few months of having Irlen Dyslexia glasses and the strategies, our daughters hand and reading slowly improved.

She is now a qualified Disability support worker.

Answer 2

No, my child is only 7 1/2 and has been getting tested and re-tested for 3 years now, in the school system. My heart goes out to you, b/c the mental/behavioral health system plus the school systems are enough to make you want to pull your hair out. Does your daughter have autism?  You could get help with the schools from the Autism society. They attended an IEP meeting for my child and they were a HUGE help.

You are not overprotective. They just don't want to do their jobs. I had that problem last year in the schools with my own child.  The teacher didn't want to do what was necessary to help my child. My child is repeating 1st grade due to it, at my request. This year's teacher is working VERY hard to help my child succeed and learn and grow ( maturely in social interactions).  She doesn't set a "cap" on what she thinks my child can do. Yes, we have modified grading, but other than that, my child is capable of doing the work and being in a regular class.

I would try to find an advocacy group for your daughter's needs and request help. See if you have a local ECAC chapter. ( Exceptional Children's Advocacy Center).  Have you have testing done by the school or another professional to prove what the issues are? You want the disabilities as defined as possible. This boxes the school in to meeting her needs better. Have you tried a neurologist? I'm shooting in the dark, but I would try to get help through your local mental health agencies... They can direct you much better than I could. You need some professionals to fight with you for your daughter. I'm not saying you're not a fighter, I'm saying the school will probably be more receptive to a professional saying ( in their jargon) Hey, this girl needs EC all day and that's that.

Answer 3

no i haven't but my heart goes out to you and your daughter that she had to put through that by people that are trained to notice these things, god bless you both. hope you have a good weekend

Answer 4

This is VERY common all across the USA. Schools are CORRUPT when it comes to special ed.

THe school DID see and know her problems, but they just did not want to ADMIT it because they do not want to help.

There are MANY reports, stories, studies, etc that you can google and find on corruption of special ed in public schools. THere have been many  reports in the wall street journal recently.

Some sites to go to find out more are--

www.wrightslaw.com

www.reedmartin.com

www.schwablearning.org (message board)

Answer 5

Yes I had a similar experience.  I finally decided to direct my energy and attention to something more constructive since fighting the school system was an uphill battle... I pulled my son out of public school and decided to homeschool.  He now gets more instruction and has learned more than he ever did in public school.  He is also able to get the one-on-one attention that he needed.

I think that the "experts" should stop putting down parents and labeling them overprotective and LISTEN to the parents (the real experts).  Then maybe kids will start getting the early intervention they need so that they can reach their fullest potential.