Hate to be seen together with my husband... Help!?

Question

My husband and I have been married for over 2 years, no kids, both in our 20s. We don't have "together" friends. We don't hang out as a couple in functions either. I know it is bad, but I am really embarrassed of him. He completely shuts down in the public and appears very" cold" & "hostile" to those who try to approach him. I am still married to him because he has severe depression and I simply cannot leave him, I am not happy, but I think I should stay by his side, even though all my efforts has been useless.

My friends invited us to a party this weekend, I am so worried right now. For one thing, the people who got invited are not the nicest people in the world, they like to make fun of others a lot; for another, I do think my relationship with the host is important and I don't want to blow it up. I don't know if I should bring my husband with me, coz I am worried that he will embarrass me in front of others, and give them something to gossip about.

Please give me some advice on handling the situation. Thanks!

Answer 1

and u married him why?

Answer 2

i think u sound like a b**** and i cant believe the way you talk about ur husband. my husband can be just as rude and mean as the next one,but i walk proud when i am with him reguardless how hes acting,thats part of marriage hun, u r the reason people say people shouldnt get married in their 20's. i feel bad for ur husband

Answer 3

Your husband is depressed? If he wasn't before, he ought to be now. Do him a favor and figure out soon if you have enough of a person there inside you that you don't need him to be right for you to feel confident of yourself and for you to work out how you can not feel you have to hang out with boors for whatever you think they can do for you. If he's going to be with someone, it's going to have to be someone different from what you are now.

Answer 4

I don't understand why you would want to spend time with people who would use your husband as a source of gossip.  I find it difficult to believe that you had no idea as to his dislike of being in social situations before you married.  You married him as he is, so stick with him as he is and ditch the loser friends who would say nasty things about him.  If you feel you truly cannot continue with him then you need to leave.  It's a shame to say that you're embarrassed by your own husband.  How do you think he would feel if you were to tell him this?  If you can't overcome your current feelings then he deserves better than to be living a lie.

Answer 5

If you are nervous that much than i would say not to go. But don't forget, you can not hiding in the house forever. If you keep isolating yourself away from friend and relative than soon enough you will find out that you in the big crown but no one it your friend.

Answer 6

Skip the party and do something else fun with your husband.  Do something that would make him happy.  He probably doesn't want to be at your bitchy friends' party either.

Answer 7

if ur not happy u should either get consouling or leave.....

do u want to die miserable? NO!....

try talking to him....find out why he gets that way around people...

me and my wife do almost the same thing..not all the time...but like a soon as someone says something ..stupid...it just goes away....

u just need to be more honest and open...ur happiness counts too

Answer 8

First, ask yourself why you have friends who are just plain ignorant and mean.

Secondly, I'm sure your husbands "condition" didn't appear after the "I Do's" so take responsibility for your choice in marrying him and figure out what YOUR problem is!  Because truly, this is YOUR problem...not your husbands.

You sound like a selfish woman.....get some help!

Answer 9

Why did you even marry him? Maybe you should skip the party, because why would you want to hang out with people that make fun of others alot? Doesn't sound like fun to me.  If that's the kind of people throwing this party, the ones that will gossip or make fun of him, then why on earth would you want to go?

Answer 10

Since the invitation list consists of rude people I would not go. You should be able to take you husband with you without fear of ridicule.

Answer 11

You know dear that is part of your husbands severe depression as people

that have this really don't like to go out and mingle with others or go to functions  and or be around others.it's really not his fault,he never asked to be like this but he is and your doing all that you can to hold on to your marriage.But do you really think hon he is happy going to places were other people are,He is going out with  to places with you to help make you happy,I guess you can say he is trying the best he can for you too!

But he has a sickness hopefully he will come along in time with the help of his Dr. but for now he's just not ready yet! He wants to be like everyone

else but his intervened  depression is holding him back. I bet just with you and him alone he's a sweet heart that's why you fell in love with and married him.I think making him go to please you makes him unhappy too.I know you want him to be well and be able to be with you

and your unhappy he has a hard time with this.I think you should ask him and tell him it's alright if he doesn't feel like go because you ok with it if he doesn't want to go for now till he is feeling better and he will

But for now don't take him to be talked about and it anyone asks just say he's not feeling well and go alone (talk with him first about you wanting to go) but save his feeling as you can't tell him this about them people it would make him more represented.Find something you and him can do together out alone to help him out of his shell as long as he is not getting angry at you and know your helping him things will get better for him and you. I sure hope this helps go and have a good time by yourself and call him from there to see how he is feeling as this will erasure he knows your think and caring for him at home.      

Answer 12

Your husband sounds like my ex husband. Guess what?  I divorced him two years ago. It was the best thing I could of done!   :)