Hating the Adopted parents?

Question

I am adopted from birth by two people who wanted to save their marriage. My A-Dad has been in and out of jail my whole life and my A-mom has been abusive and neglective. I dont consider either one of them my parents, and all I want is to be loved =(

I found my bio-mom and I talk to her sometimes, but my A-mom has forbade it... ugh! I haate her so much!!!! thankfully I have basically been adopted by the most awesomest person ever! and I am going to move in when school gets out! I am almost 16 and this is the first time I have been happy in my entire life!!!

Is it abnormal to hate my A-parents?

Answer 1

Not if they are the way you say they are, i think u would dislike them even if they were ur real parents. and just to add at 16 who really gets there parents? i hope this person whom ur going to move in with is the right person for you,sounds like u need to be loved and deserve it. O and ur A-mom saying not to see your B-mom, is normal too she may feel slighted, she took you in and rasied you so you can abandon her for the woman who abandoned you?

Answer 2

Well, I think that most teenagers hate their parents at one time or another, adoption aside.  But by the sounds of it, you've got legitimate reasons to be angry and I certainly don't blame you for having those feelings!

I guess I'm not sure if your feelings toward your adoptive parents are due to their abuse/neglect of you, because of the fact that you were adopted, or a combination of both.

Answer 3

At your age, it's normal to hate your a-parents and/or your b-parents.

Answer 4

No... and as a matter of fact, ALOT of teenagers (biological and adopted) hate their parents at some point in time during their life.

Answer 5

In your situation I don’t think so.  If they were your bio parents and they acted in this abusive manner you would hate them too. Heck if they were just guardians you’d hate them too. This more comes down to them being abusive and neglectfully not the fact they adopted you. This scenario can happen to anyone adopted or not.

Clearly your parents adopted for the wrong reasons. People should not have kids adopted or biological solely based on hopes that a child will safe their marriage. Unfortunately a lot of people do it. This is not fair to the child whether the child is adopted by the couple or born to them.

Answer 6

aww sweetie.  I am sorry to hear that things have been so rough.  I wouldn't really say it has much to do with the adoptive part but more to do with the fact that they were just not good parents and I am very sorry to hear that.  I am glad though that you have found someone that loves you the way you should be loved.  I wish you luck and will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 7

nope

Answer 8

I think it is normal to hate your parents adopted or bio at your age.  I hated my adoptive-parents when I was a teenager, they put rules on things I didn't think were right and they were strict when my friends parents were not.  Now my adopted mom and I are best friends.  I think in a ways it is something most people grow out of.

Answer 9

It's normal to hate Abusive--dysfunctional Parents...

Answer 10

from your description, you have good reason to hate them.  hope it gets better from now on.

Answer 11

no i suppose not... especially if their intentions of adopting u were selfish and they have not shown u much love or care ur whole life... i am very happy you found someone that lves and cares for u to take care of u and be a good role model for u, but above all love u and care for u like a person deserves... but do not opt to totally hate your adopted parents for they did bring you up for 16 solid years...

Answer 12

People are going to discredit your spite towards your adoptive parents, but sometimes adoption IS a factor into it. Feelings are feelings and if you know why you don't like someone, then nobody can tell you that you're wrong. They will try and dismiss it, like they did to me, but you feel the way you feel.

Whoever you are happy with I hope treats you well and safe. It will get easier in a few years :) Spend your youth learning and take yourself where ever you want.

Answer 13

At your age, it's pretty much normal to hate your parents, whether they're A-parents or birth parents!

But that said, I think that you have some legitimate reasons to be unhappy with your A-parents.  It sounds as though you did not have a very good life with them in many ways.  

I'm a little confused about your statement that you've been adopted by "the most awesomest person ever."   Does this mean your A-parents have disrupted your adoption, and that you are being adopted by another family?

Answer 14

no it's not not normal to dislike your a-parents if you want to keep in-touch with your bio mom then do so hopefully you would have the  love of that  person  you want i know it's not a good atmosphere for you just hang in there it wont be to much longer before you are out of there for good

good luck

Answer 15

Hey I know where your coming from I was a fosterchild too. No one will ever add up to your real mom and dad. My adoptive parents where really good to me, unlike your situation, but I still hated them sometimes. It's hard to explain why. It's just something you have to go through your self to understand.

Heather

Answer 16

No.  Because aparents are just parents, just people.  There are good ones, there are bad ones, there are mediocre ones.  

Many kids hate their bio parents, too -- it has been going on since the beginning of time.

You got the short end of the stick, and got some lousy parents.  With time and maturity, you will probably learn to tolerate or even appreciate them a bit.  But don't hold onto the hatred - or you'll end up with a sad life -- spending all your free time on this board bashing adoptive parents!

Go out there and be happy and surround yourself with good people!