Have a friend who wants to make me GROVEL!!?

Question

What do you do when your friend insists that you apologize but you are not sorry... and you feel you were justified?

She hurt my feelings and I yelled at her. I didn't call her names or say anything inappropriate but I did raise my voice and I hung up on her.

Never once was anything addressed over why I was hurt... it is all about her.

She turned around and had a giant kid party and did not invite my children. They were crushed.

Now her and her husband are all over town bad mouthing me for my temper.

???

My children still want to be friends with their children. For me... since this happened about a month ago.. I am over it...

yet.... she insists to all around that in order for things to move on... i have to apologize.

I know her well enuf to know that even if I did apologize she would immediately tell all her other friends and family yep... she apologized i was right!

What should I do people?

Answer 1

I guess you should apologize?

Hanging up on someone is kind of rude but yeah she sounds really stuck up lol. But just apologize whether you mean it or not at least that way your children can be friends with theirs again and problem solved! =]

Answer 2

I am sorry you are ignorant and did not invite my children to the party. Would that cover it? I don't think she will repeat it but it is an apology.

Answer 3

Your "friend" sounds very immature. From what you say I wonder why you are her friend at all. Has she done this before? I would give up on this friendship. You're teaching your children that they have to put up with this type of behavior by keeping this one-sided relationship alive. Isn't there anyone else you know? If not, why not go out and find other friends who will appreciate you and are intelligent and mature enough not to go around gossiping like a two-year-old. There are a lot of kind, forgiving, loving people in the world who would love you for who you are and not demand an apology. As one of my sisters said when I felt bad and apologized to her: "There is nothing to forgive."  

Answer 4

I wouldn't apologise as you getting upset was justified. I would say maybe raising my voice you may have felt wasn't the best way to deal with a situation but your actions have caused me and my children to feel hurt. If she can't see the problem then maybe it's time to distance yourself from her.

Answer 5

I use to have a so called friend like that. She was the needy one I was the enabler. Stop it NOW. Do nothing at all. People consider the source. Do not worry about what others say. Your children will find others to play with as will you. If it is like my friend I spent all my time planning my life around them anyway, what they wanted to do, where they wanted to go. I was always making her happy and if things went wrong it was my fault. I have friends now who love me for me. Do not apologize for something you didn't do. You will be doing it forever. My friend came to me 14 years later and told me how wrong she was.  

Answer 6

don't apologize and tell her why you acted the way you did. this should have nothing to do with your kids....this is being childish. from the sounds of your friend needs to grow up!

Answer 7

I always tell people what they want to hear, regardless whether you believe you are right or not. It is so liberating to let go of all of the built up frustration and tension. Sometimes you have to swallow your pride and surrender to other people's needs. When you need them, they will be there for you with open arms.

Fly away little birdie...

Answer 8

Tell her you can't apologize because if you did it would not be a sincere apology. Tell her that you're completely over the fact that she hurt your feelings so she should be able to get over the fact that you raised your voice. If she still demands you apologize then it's her loss.

Answer 9

you have not described the behavior of a friend.

You have described the behavior of a manipulative, hostile acquaintance.

why would yo want to be friends with someone like this?

Answer 10

One thing is always sure-shot: the truth is ALWAYS revealed and it's normally self-evident. If you've noticed certain negative qualities about your friend, others have surely seen it at some point. People may think badly of you after she goes around telling them what a terrible person you are, but it certainly won't take long for those people to realize that you're really not the kind of person she claims you are. If you live your life with the right motives and causes (and I'm sure you do), what your friend says about you will eventually become history and people WILL see the good side of you again. As for HER, people will see her as the bad-mouthing person who's willing to openly humiliate her friend and use her children to do it. The only difference between your reputation being spoiled and her reputation being spoiled is that her reputation is torn down by her own actions, not by the words of her bad-mouthing friend.

Just do what every good person does. Treat the hostility as if it doesn't matter. Apologize, since that's what your friend wants. And deep inside, you can have the pleasure of knowing that all will balance out and that you're the better person for not holding grudges. Think of some very good people that you know. This is how such people live their lives and gain respect.

Answer 11

I would confront her face to face and tell her exactly how you feel. She is being very childish. Your friendship is probably over.

Answer 12

just dont talk to her until shes becomes more mature.  

Answer 13

1. Grab a paper bag of dog p**p

2. Put it on her porch

3. Light it on fire

4. Ring the doorbell

5. Run!

6. c**p yourself from laughing so hard.

7. Take that p**p and put it in a paper bag ... (OK you get the idea)