Have a question about adopting my daughter's unborn baby.?

Question

Okay, she's 18, 6 months pregnant. The guy is no longer in the picture. He turned out to be a real dead beat, pot head, loser. When the going got tough, his family packed her stuff and brought her back home to her dad and myself. They dated for a while after that, but when my daughter seen that the guy was still doing his dope, wouldn't work nor support her emotionally nor financially she ditched him. My question is... She wants her dad and myself to adopt her baby. What rights does this boy have? We live in NM.

Answer 1

No right what so ever. Your daughter did the right thing when she ditched the loser she was with but do try to support her in the decision she has made to adopt the child out and if she has decided to adopt the child to you that is great coz you can try to invole her in the chil's life if you choose to.

Answer 2

sounds horrible but don't let him sighn the certificate or he will have more rights than you can handle and it will be a  battle if you want to become gaurdian.

Answer 3

We're going through the same thing. Our lawyer told us that he has no rights. They're not married, he's not going to be on the B/C. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, that father will have to relinquish his rights so lying to him about the paternity isn't going to work.

If he will relinquish his right and your daughter will relinquish hers, than you can adopt the baby. Contact to Child and Families services division in your state to get information.

Answer 5

Honestly, if you are hoping that one day she will have the baby back...I would go through the state and do something called kinship care.  That makes you the legal gardians/caregivers for the child...but it isn't permanent.  

As for dad's rights.  It does vary state by state, but in the state I live in.  Birth fathers need to be located (or at least resonable effort in locating them) in order for a child to be adopted.  With kinship care in our state, if the birth father has been informed and doesn't want anything to do with the child, that is enough and family can take over as guardians.

Answer 6

It's brave and very supportive of you both to consider helping your daughter like this, and definitly a firm decision by the sounds of the father...

However, telling him he isnt the father wont make him go away, no matter how much of a dead beat he is!

To really resolve the problem, you, your husband and your daughter should meet with the father and his parents. Sit down and discuss this issue truthfuly. Without the fathers permission, you cant really do much unfortunately...

Luckily this guy sounds asif he wouldnt be very responsible anyway, and may decide that this is just right for him! If all is agreed, you can go ahead with the process. Otherwise, I guarentee getting your way will be a long fight.

Your daughter is bound to be under alot of stress as it is, I hope you resolve things soon to relieve her of any further trouble. All the best with adopting the baby.

Answer 7

Ethically, morally and legally, the birthfather must be contacted and either sign a Waiver voluntarily, or be served with papers and make the choice to either sign or seek custody.

If you leave out this vitally important step, give false information, withhold information, give only partial information, or twist some of the birthfather information, it is unethical and illegal.  This would hurt the child.  If the birthfathers rights are not 100% honored legally, then he can come back at any time and seek to gain custody of the child.

And he would not have to proove he is a father of the year to get custody!  Especially if his rights were violated!

Tread very carefully with the adoption, and seek the advice from an attorney who is highly experienced in adoptions.  One who has done at least 30.  And, you will have to pay for the terminations, and adoption.  Some states require you to get an adoption homestudy too.  The cost for all can range from $1500-$4000.

Good luck!!

Answer 8

He DOES Have Rights! All He Would Have To Do Is Prove Paternity And He Has MANY Rights. Of Course He May Never Desire To Do Anything. If You Are Concerned About Him Popping Up Or Just To Be On The Safe Side You Should Get Those Rights Signed Away. Then It's A Done Deal Which Also Means That Going For Child Support Is Not An Option. Unless There Are Concerns For Your Daughter Parenting Ability I'd Encourage Her Through It Without The Legal End Of Signing The Baby Away To Y'all.

Answer 9

yes you should because it is your grandchild and you don't want it to go to a bad home and be abused

Answer 10

I would not be doing the adoption at all just get her to give you full garden-ship of the child then she still has the rights to the child and she can still keep going to school, University or what ever.

it would make the hole thing less complex too and fare less expensive for you and her (latter down the track) also i think it would be better for the child.

more so it is very common for grand parents to have custody of the kids too so it is not going to put the child in any disadvantage. as after all your older and so would your partner be i would think so if your two where to die then your doughtier would get the baby back in that cases too so it would be a better way all round i think.

Answer 11

Ask an attorney - or the Child Welfare people - about Guardianship instead of adoption.  That may be more what you want - you will be acting as parents - but it will leave open the possibility of your daughter taking back care as she gets more stable and older.

Also - you can not pretend this child has no Father - and you don't want him to coem around later in life to cause you troubles.  Get a paternity test - tell him he either signs off rights or pays Child Support - and get him out of the mix now.

Answer 12

Are you certain this is what she really wants?  If it had worked out with the father of the baby relationship wise, she likely would have parented, correct?

You will want good legal representation regardless, and your daughter needs counseling to make sure this what she wants to do.

Answer 13

tell her to get an abortion unless u want to take care of one.

Answer 14

Get him to sign a statement surrendering his parental rights. If he's not yet 18, got going fast, and maybe there's nothing to worry about.

Answer 15

If you want her to adopt the baby back in the future, why not just have her relinquish custody to you?  Congratulations to you for being supportive.  You could probably get him to sign over his rights but you would have to go thru a lawyer.  Sounds like it would not be a problem.  Get as much evidence as you can regarding his dope and not supporting your daughter while she is pregnant.  If you can prove your issues, a judge will terminate his rights so you can adopt.  Kudos to you.  I hope your daughter realizes how super you are.

Answer 16

It sounds like you're really good parents!  Good for you for supporting her & looking toward what's best for the baby!

I'm guessing that a paternity test will be in order.  After the test, when the father is positively identified (when the test comes back that Mr. Deadbeat is the dad), he'll need to give up parental rights.  Your daughter will need to, also.

Contact an attorney.  it should be a pretty simple and low-cost process for him/her to process the documents for the adoption and go to court to finalize things.

Good for you, again!  Keep being there for your daughter & her unborn baby.  She'll thank you for being supportive, if she's not already doing so.

Answer 17

The birthfather does have rights.  Whether you like it or not, whether he is dad of the year or the biggest dead beat - he has legal rights.  The birthfather must either sign a consent of adoption, or you must have his rights terminated through the legal system.  Here is a link to birthfather rights in regards to adoption law in New Mexico: http://www.childwelfare.gov/systemwide/l...

And for more great information on birthfather rights and adoption, this is also a great resource: http://faq.adoption.com/questions/what-r...

All that being said, why don't you just help support your daughter and her child instead of adopting the child.  She may not think she is able to take care of the child, but may change her mind after the baby is born or even months or years later.  Instead of adopting the child and then trying to have your daughter re-adopt the child back - why not just help your daughter out until she is able to parent herself - I think it might be easiest on the child and not so confusing!  JMHO!

Answer 18

You guys adopt the poor kid & keep it or let her keep it & help raise it, but this whole letting her adopt the kid back is ridiculous. The kid needs 1 stable family arrangement (from birth, if possible). I disagree with the poster who said not to concern yourself w/ the "father's" rights. Since your daughter has lied to him, he could later come back & sue to prove his paternity & demand visitation or even custody. Or she could have a "change of heart" & want him to know his child when she thinks he has cleaned up. Either way, you are asking for yet another problem in this child's life later on.

Answer 19

I'm not sure that a judge would allow her to "adopt the baby back" after willingly giving it up.  The back and forth is not good for the baby.  Maybe just support her financially and babysit when she needs it without adopting the baby.  I think that once she sees it and looks into his or her little eyes that she may re-think it.  Also, she absolutely has to tell the father.  Its not fair to him or the baby.  He may not be the most responsible guy in the world, but he has a right to know that he is a parent.  Who knows?  May it'll straighten him out a bit.  Either way, he has rights and you and your daughter need to respect that.