Have any of you as parents, ever felt like this?

Question

My town has 2 pediatricians and the next town over is kind of a long drive (going 70 mph, takes about an hour to get there). We have a horrible time affording the gas (who doesn't?) and it's such a hassle to get to that town. Otherwise, I would choose a pediatrician there. Our pediatrician talks to my husband and I as if we're the children here. I don't feel comfortable with him and want to get another thing with our baby checked out as I truly think he has thrush. This doctor doesn't seem to listen or take us seriously with our concerns. The other pediatrician (from what I hear) is really mean to parents and if there is one tiny little scratch on the kid, parents will be turned in to DFS or something. So, I'm scared to try her! Ok, so my point is, have any of you felt belittled by your child's pediatrician and if so, what should I do to make it better? The stuff that looks like thrush has been on his tongue for a month (since before we came out of the hospital) and was told by the hospital that it was not thrush, it was just milk. I want a second opinion but don't want to go to the pediatrician for this, as he makes me uncomfortable. What should I do? Suck it up and go anyways?

Answer 1

I've experienced both. I don't tolerate medical professionals that don't listen or seem to belittle my concerns. My first son had a serious diaper rash that was actually a yeast infection and I was told "We don't typically see kids with diaper rash". They wouldn't let me schedule an appointment and tried to give me 4 or 5 home remedy's. I found another doc the same day, and his treatment worked overnight.   I was "talked down to" by one guy who was upset that we had pets and that the dog sometimes sleeps with my daughter (who is perfectly healthy as all the kids are). I told him then and there that he needed a reality check and found another doc. If I were you, I'd try the other doctor in town first (just to make sure..you might actually like him). You need to find someone that you respect and who respects you as well. Once you find that, you're set.  

Answer 2

I have never been talked to like a child when going to my kids pediatrician.You pay them to care for your child not to belittle you.The next time you have a visit I would just make a list of concerns for the doctor for after the checkup.If you feel as though you have been given the shaft then I would drive the extra miles for a decent doctor.As far as the milk on the tongue, it might be just milk.My daughter had the same thing.But as far as thrush being the problem it is usually really thick and does not come off at all.My daughter had some kind of mouth antibiotics prescribed to her.

Answer 3

My pediatrician is AWESOME.  I love her & value her expertise.  She also values my experience.  BUT i drive 105 miles to bring my kids to her.  I don't care how minor the ailment they go to her...I too have had bad luck with stupid docs or young ones with PHD head that doesn't value a mothers innat sense.  A good doc is hard to find & when you find one stick with them at all cost!  I have 4 kids 6&under.  So I am at a point I can call my pediatrician & say "hey, my daughter brought pinkeye home from kindergarten can I get a script" and she'll call it in for me for all 4 kids.  But it took awhile to get this relationship with her.  She may not do it for everyone but over the years she has learned I'm not an idiot and will save me on gas to see her ( and her time as well) by calling something in for a minor ailment.

Try different doctors out, many people rave about our doc & many hate her.  (She's blunt, to the point, and expects children to mind in her office.- I think SO??) Is what I am saying is you may love someone your friends hate...differnet strokes for different folks.   Many pediatricians get irriatated with first time parents cuz they tend to be overly concerned about every minor thing & when they know you are a first timer they treat you as such right away & ignore some real vital things...so be aware

PS  you can get something called gentian violet at the pharmacy, you need to ask for it- no script required to treat thrush.  put some on a q-tip paint the baby's mouth, boil nipple every time. it will treat if she has thrush. But 9times out of 10 she probaby has milk mouth.  If you are nursing and the baby has thrush your nipples will become red, irriatated & painful.  But I would get the second opinion & search for a new doc!  If the one you love is 70miles away it will be well worth it in the long run

Answer 4

I understand your frustration with not being able to pick another doctor but, you have to take what you can get. If I were you, then I would definitely bring my child in for another check-up. Sometimes as hard as it is, when we are a parent we have to hassle someone to get anything done.

People only treat you how you allow them to treat you. Stay confident with your opinions and voice them politely but, firm.

I've never had a doctor belittle me fortunately. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I research everything before I go to the doctor. Then I am able to present my opinion on the matter. I'll tell them straight out here are the symptoms and I think it is pointing towards Thrush (or whatever the condition may be).

Also just as a side note, I have a very white tongue and I don't have Thrush. I just have an extremely porous tongue and I have had it since I can remember. Whenever I eat or drink something colored (cola, coffee, tea, etc.) my tongue will turn that color until I brush it away. But, the underlying whiteness always stays.

Have you considered other alternatives such as a Geographic tongue? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geographic_...

Good luck!

Answer 5

I think you should either spend the money and go to a doctor in the next town over or you need to find something natural to cure this. Do you have an natural food stores around or you can find stuff online.

First things that come to mind are Colloidal Silver and Yogurt- Acidophiles.

Answer 6

Well I don't know what to say......I say if you are not happy, suck it up and drive your baby to the next town to a new Dr. I had to change doctors due to my husband changing jobs and this new dr was soo rude and I just was not happy...I was in the middle of my pregnancy and I switched Dr's...luckily this Dr was just down the road, so not far at all but he is a MILLION TIMES MORE AWESOME! He is our pediatrician, family doctor, OBGYN and just very awesome, he is younger and has kids my kids' ages...so I can trust what he says cause I am sure he is in the same boat as us...as far as kids and mildstones...:)

Answer 7

The only thing I can really say is that I know where you are coming from. Our family doctor does the same thing with me, which he doesn't need to but there are lots of families out there that need that to understand what is being said to them. You just have to understand that it is hard for them to turn that off.

Take your son to the local hospital (unless its the one you had him at) to be checked out. Tell them what you think is the problem and how long it has been going on.

Answer 8

You need to put your self in their shoes for a moment, they are trained professionals and they have a young mother and father coming in trying to tell them how to do their job with no prior medical experience. They may have seemed to talk to you as children only because he was biting his tongue and not saying what he really wanted to. But you said the hospital told you the same thing, that's 2 opinions and they are both the same. Now I'm not saying doctors are always perfect, but they have an awful lot on their plate and they see the same things day in and day out, so give them a break if their bedside manner isn't to your liking. They work very hard dealing with real life and death issues and when they see a child that may be in a abusive situation they are required by law to report it. So if someone is telling you this doctor just reports any old scratch I would be suspicious of that person, they know the difference between a fall and scrape and an open cut from a hit.  

Answer 9

I'd stay with one I was comfortable with.  But everything comes with opportunity cost.  If the closest one you like is 70 miles away, then that's what you have to do.

Answer 10

Yes, I've felt that way.  I'm lucky that my son has a fantastic pediatrician, as my husband and I really did our homework during our pediatrician search while I was pregnant.  But my son saw the office's horrible nurse practitioner on a few occasions.  The first few times, she spoke down to me and was very dismissive of my questions and comments.  The last time we saw her, she examined my son for something that was really concerning me, and told me it was nothing.  Unfortunately, she was VERY wrong.   I got a second opinion, and the issue was thankfully caught in time.  I really chewed her out for it, and the office assured us that she would never again examine my son.  She mysteriously lost her job a couple of weeks later - I wonder why?

Your child's medical care is extremely important, so never take it lightly.  A doctor will not be truly effective if you can't communicate openly with him or her.  I say pack your child up and take him to a better doctor, even if you do have to drive a bit.  Good luck.  

Answer 11

Well if you do not want to travel to the ped in the other town, your options are:

1.  Keep the dr you have but assert yourself.  You, as the parent, have a right to insist on respectable treatment.  If the dr dismisses your concerns, you can say, you may be right but I will feel better if you test him... or whatever.  If you continue to ask or push for things, the dr will have to comply.  Play hard if you have to... if he downright refuses, then you will need to report him to the AMA.

2.  Try the other doctor.  MEAN?  This isn't middle school.  You need to be a grown up and form your own opinion.  A child is not taken away from a parent because they are scratched.  

You will have many other people in you must deal with in your child's life - other parents, teachers, principals, coaches, etc.  Start being your baby's advocate now.  

Answer 12

Follow your instincts - if you feel there is really a problem with your baby, suck it up and do the drive.  We have had similar experiences with our PAST pediatrician, and at a certain point I did not hesitate to ask (more like DEMAND) a second opinion.  We now have a new - excellent - Pediatrician.  And my daughter has since been diagnosed with asthma (past pediatrician insisted repeatedly that it was "just a virus").

Answer 13

Did the doctor do a culture to test for thrust? If he did then go by his diagnosis. Sounds like to me a bed side manner issue.

Answer 14

My child had a doctor like that.

He would look me up and down, and ask me how many kids i had. I would say I only have her and that i didnt want anymore.

he would reply," thats what they all say, you'll be back with another one soon."

he assumed i was just having kids left and right.

I am a divorced mother, and he was a jerk.

We found another doctor.

10 yrs later I still only have 1 child.

Answer 15

Your question intrigued me so I called my brother who is a pediatrician and read him your question. His response was as follows: I respect a patient who well communicate, and does their homework before appointments, he suggest that you word your questions so that they (the doctor) can not answer with a simple yes or no, ask them "if it were thrush what would look different then what my child has presented with today". Your doctor should never make you feel stupid or like your over reacting but you must understand that you have brought your child for a diagnosis and if your not going to except their diagnosis or if you challenge them you are more than likely going to get a negative response. As far as the thrush.. a white tongue is more than likely Not thrush as thrush will present itself with Patches not only on the tongue but also on the inside of the cheeks as well as the back of the throat. It is a med school 101 diagnosis and if he or the hospital were wrong on this , then it is time to move on"  I know that Doctors often have the "god" syndrome and I hope that you and your child's doctor end up having a good relationship. It's hard being a first time mother... your just so unsure and scared.. I've been there.

Answer 16

Well first off you are employing your doctor. He is your employee. Everytime you go there you are paying him, not the other way around. I would not tolerate him bulleying me. I would stand up to him and tell him that you are being a responsible parent by having it checked out. Tell him that he doesn't have to treat you like a child. Tell him that you are an adult and can understand what he is talking about. You have to demand respect. People will run all over you unless you put your foot down and demand respect. Dont let him run all over you. Good luck and you are doing the right thing by getting a second opinion.