Have any of you felt as if you really helped someone who struggled with an adoption issue?

Question

so often, we battle and fight and have philosophical disagreements regarding adoption; most with a basis of no more than personal bias, conjecture or speculation. but...a few times, there may be someone who you felt you "actually spoke to" and was able to offer assistance; regardless of the final decision they make.

that happened for me today :-)

others?

ps. this is open to all...adoptees, first-parents, adoptive parents, et al.

Answer 1

I am not sure if I really help with my answers and I know I am very quick to shoot of a smart azz answer to what I think is an inappropriate question. I know,  not a great idea... Many of my answers are sincere though. If my experience or opinion can help someone then great.

I read the answer that you were talking about and I think you really helped him understand his daughters position. So many times, parents think they know what is best for their kids and don't want to realise there comes a time when they need to step back and let the kids make their choices.

Answer 2

Tish was very helpful today!

Answer 3

i'm helping a couple adoptees with their searches....along with talking about the typical everyday stuff that has nothing to do with adoption....like boys.  :)

Answer 4

I have received a number of emails from women who are first moms, but won't even admit it on this sight, they just wanted to correspond.

I've had others who were thinking of relinquishing and wanted to know how it effected me. I tried to point them in the direction of people who knew of more resources and could also help. I told them what no one told me. To wait until the baby is born and see what happens. Family members might have a change of heart once they see the baby. I tell them my story of both children, Lauren, who I relinquished and Sam, who I kept. Both had horrible "biodad's. I just tried to encourage them into seeing other options. I just try to throw out options they may not have been aware of, help them realize they don't owe anyone anything (I even used you as an example), and give it your best shot before a final decision. I hope they know that if in the end they decide to relinquish, I wish them well.....

ETA:

and let them know it will be a lifetime of h**l.

Answer 5

About 15 years ago I helped an adult adoptee meet her b-relatives.  She had been adopted at the age of 5 and had moved far away from here.  Before she was adopted I had been her kindergarten teacher.  She had a picture of me with my maiden name on the back, and called me.  I went with her to visit her foster mom.  It was very moving to walk with her through the house, as the memories flowed back to her.  We found the house where she had lived with her b-parents. Again, the memories flooded in as we walked through the house.  I went with her to meet her mother and to meet several relatives of her deceased dad.  It was the most amazing thing I'd ever participated in.  I literally watched her put the missing pieces of her "life puzzle" in place.  She NEEDED to come back here and prove to herself that she had existed before the age of 5.  That her life was more than just faded memories.  It was really awesome.  I'll always be grateful to her for allowing me to be part of that amazing experience.

P.S.  Anastasia Beavenhauser is helping my daughter with her adoption issues, as well as with looking for b-family.  But, even more, she is helping ME understand a LOT more about adoption and the impact it has on the adoptees.  She's a blessing to me.  I've learned some things that have made my head spin!  Thanks Ms.Beavenhauser.  You are a jewel !!!!!

Answer 6

Yes.  Not in here though.  After I decided upon where I was adopting from, I formed a group of other parents who were in the process or or have already adopted from that country as well.  We have get togethers and share ideas.  

I'm a notary public, so I helped all I could for free regarding their documents.

I processed my son's state readoption pro se and was able to provide template documents to others in order for them to save alot of money hiring a lawyer to do that part of the post-adoption paperwork.  

I've also provided alot of emotional support to many folks while they were going through the ups and downs of the international adoption rollercoaster ride.

Answer 7

I helped my cousin with her adoption. Taking her to all her doctors appts, adoption meetings, taking her to meet with adoptive parents, ect. Wonderful experince it was. :)