Have any of you let your baby "cry it out"?

Question

I'm not talking toddlers, I mean babies you know like 6 months? I believe that you should correct the behavior the second you bring your baby home from the hospital, the sooner the better. So, what have your experiences been?

Answer 1

If i know my daughter is exhausted, and definitely needs a nap, then yeah I let her cry it out in her crib.  She always ends up falling asleep within 10 minutes.  However, if the cry gets increasingly worse, or has been going on for 10-15mins, I go in there and do a quick diaper check (if she poops, she won't go down until i change her), if she's clean, I lay her back down and tell her it's nap time, turn on her fish aquarium, and leave the room.  I've been doing this since she was about 6 months (maybe a lil older, right around the time she knew how to get herself to sleep)... It isn't always effective.  Especially as they get older.  Sometimes a baby will fight against a nap regardless of how tired they are.  So I don't think it's effective to "correct the behavior".   You just do what you got to go,when you got to do it.  If the crying in her crib reaches the point of 45 mins to an hour, I just take her out and put her down to play, she obviously doesn't want to sleep.  Crying isn't a behavioral problem... Its the only way they have to communicate with you.   Sometimes all they want is to be comforted by you.

*edit*

I raised my first daughter (who is now 7) the same way.  She turned out great.  She's never thrown a tantrum or fit when she didn't get her way (which still sometimes shocks me actually).  In fact, I often hear how well mannered and  behaved she is for a 7 year old.  So I must be doing something right.  

Everyone raises their kids differently, but there s no need to sit here and insult people over it.  You raise your kid how you want to, and others will raise their kids how they want to.  The person asking this question didn't say that she's beating or shaking the child every time the baby cries.  She asked for your experiences, not for you to sit here and ridicule her.

Answer 2

It was pretty obvious that my 5 month old did not know how to fall asleep unless we were holding him or give him a bottle.  We did the cry out.  Took him 4 nights.  Best thing we ever did.  And I have a happy, healthy loving boy.  Darn cute too!

Answer 3

babies that age don't understand that.  Up until at least 9 months you should pick them up whenever they cry.  Then they learn to trust you will always be there for them!

Answer 4

I've been doing it w/ my son, probably since he's been about six months old. I've gotten the impression that parents on this site either accept it or very much disagree w/ it (I've been given a lot of c**p for choosing to raise my son this way). I definitely wouldn't do it at any younger age b/c I don't think they understand yet. But, at 6 months+ it seems like they understand when it's nap-time and just would rather be up then trying to go to sleep. Therefore, they cry. I've always waited about 20 minutes before going to my son (usually w/ a bottle or as he got older, a sippy w/ water) and he's a perfectly normal. Infact, I've always gotten comments on how exceptionally well adjusted he is and that's he's been such a happy baby he's been his entire life (he's one year old now). Anyway, I'm all for it!

Answer 5

1. I do let my baby cry it out for a 1 min or 2..She is very happy heathly  INDEPENDENT BABY

2. I dont care who doesn't like it  

Answer 6

Lol. I agree with you. There is no need for all these rude answers "have your tubes tied"? Come on. How you parent your child is your personal decision. Some women choose to be good moms and teach their kids boundaries so they're not bratty hellions, and others let their kids rule the roost. Six months is when you're supposed to let them start crying it out. At that age, babies still want to crawl and play and get into stuff, so when mommy puts them down for bed, they cry. Let them cry. They have to learn that it's bed time. They can't be comforted every time they cry. Just because a baby cries does not mean it's hungry, messy, or in pain. Sometimes they just don't want to go to sleep, or they don't want to eat that. I've nannied various kids throughout the years and it's ALWAYS the ones whose moms pick them up at every peep that end up being brats. The moms never learn where to draw the line. And all they're doing is creating children who give their teachers a hard time in school and give babysitters a hard time at home.

Society tells parents that correcting their child is child abuse. Spanking (when old enough) is abuse. Time out is neglect. Your child should be happy 24/7. Well, that's simply untrue. that's not how life works. Kids will grow up thinking it's the world's job to make them happy all the time and reality will be a huge kick in the pants. But you have to start raising your kids from day 1. Not wondering years down the road where you went wrong....

Answer 7

"I believe that you should correct the behavior the second you bring your baby home from the hospital"

Oh I completely agree.

Which is why every single time my baby has behaved as if she is upset since birth -- I've picked her up and made her happier.

Behavior corrected.

Answer 8

Correct the behavior? I don't see it that way. If my infant is crying then I feel that it is my responsibility to attend to their needs. Leaving them alone and crying only shows them they cannot rely on their parent to make sure their emotional and physical needs are met.

Answer 9

While I believe that CIO is a horrible sleep training method, I did let my baby cry it out a few times.  To justify myself so I don't sound totally hypocritical, I only did this *after* he had learned how to put himself to sleep.  The first time we let him cry it out was after he had learned how to suck his thumb, snuggle his stuffed toys, and all of those other skills to put himself to sleep.  The few times we have used it have been when we weren't paying attention to his sleep cues.  We had let him get so exhausted that he was fussy and upset.  Since he knew he was tired, our holding and comforting him to try to put him to sleep didn't help since he knew that we weren't his bed and where he could sleep.  

Still, CIO is an awful method to use to teach a baby how to sleep.  In general it ignores reasons, it teaches babies that their needs aren't important, that they won't be taken care of, and doesn't really work.  It's like throwing a toddler into a 6 foot deep swimming pool and saying "figure out how to swim".  You can't force a baby to learn how to self soothe.  

Answer 10

yes I have but I always stayed in close proximity and every 5-10 mins I went into the room, gave him a little rub on the cheek just to let him know I wasnt abandoning him.  They fall asleep eventually!

Some babies just cry more than others especially when they are aching for a sleep.  If you pick up a child youre just stopping them from doing what they need, a good snooze.  

I would always make sure that theyre not sick or in pain though.  That is a very different cry!!

I now have 2 very happy thriving well behaved children who sleep 12 hours a night in their own beds! =0)

Best of luck

Answer 11

I never let him cry for no longer than a minute.  I would always check to make sure that he wasn't stuck or anything.  I would not pick him up from his crib, but just reassure him that I was there and that he was okay.  A good rule of thumb is to remain consistent no matter what you choose to do.  

Just as a note.  He is 17-months old and has been sleeping in his own crib in his own room since he was 5 weeks old and sleeping through the night at 6-1/2 weeks.  

Answer 12

NEVER.  A baby doesn't cry because they are misbehaving, they cry because they need something.

Sometimes it's not a physical need that you can see (like a diaper needing to be changed), but an emotional need the baby feels (like needing comfort and love).  

Think of it this way...don't you just need some love from your spouse sometimes?  After a rough day, sometimes you just need a hug or some cuddling.  How would you feel if your spouse just took you to the room and closed the door and ignored you?  They just left you alone until you got over it?  Would that be acceptable?  Of course, not.  Same goes for a child.

In my opinion, leaving a child to cry is just plain cruel.  You're not teaching them to self-soothe, you're teaching them that it doesn't matter what you want, mom and/or dad won't come all the time.

And as far as doing it right from the hospital, that's plain child abuse.  A baby that young needs to eat every 2-4 hours.  If you just leave them to cry, you're not even meeting their nutritional needs.

Answer 13

I didn't start the cry it out until 11 months, they don't know any better before then.

Answer 14

Since you're like 15 or 16 years old, I'm going to cut you some slack and assume you don't realize that even parents who DO believe in CIO are advised (by every medical establishment and organization in existence) not to *ever* do it before age 6 months.

However, I have four children.

Not ONE has ever 'cried it out, not once.

The oldest two have both been in gifted programs and excel in a highly competitive day school environment. Part of this can no doubt be credited to the fact that they are extremely self-disciplined, strong willed and well rounded- no abandonment necessary.

Perhaps you should finish high school before judging experienced parents.

Answer 15

As soon as they come home from the hospital? Are you serious? How could you do that? My 6month old has never had to cry it out and he's not spoiled. He's happily independent and sleeps through the night. Correcting behavior in a newborn? That's interesting...well more scary. A baby cries because of need, and yes wanting to be cuddled or held is a need. Please don't use this method. It's cruel.

If by marshmallow you mean good parent then ya i guess you're right. I take care of my child, and meet his needs, hmmm....no wonder i don't have to use cry it out. He has what he needs. Isn't that the job of parenting? Aren't you supposed to be there for your child? I guess I'm just crazy.

Answer 16

I'm an early childhood teacher and let me tell you the FACTS that we learned in school and KNOW because I too am a mother of 2.

As infants children go through different stages of development. One of the first things we learn in this world is Trust Vs. Mistrust (Erikson's Stages of Development).

When you let an infant "cry it out" you are breaking their trust in you. It is very important for a child to learn that they can trust the people that care for them. By picking them up and holding them you are not "spoiling" or making your child dependent. A child is ALREADY dependent on you by placing their trust in you to comfort them and make them feel safe. By letting them cry it out you are breaking their trust in you and adding unneeded stress on them.

Babies learn by having their basic needs met. When you hold, love, feed, hug and care for your baby, you are teaching them to trust those that care for them and they learn that their basic needs will be met and taken care of.

McMom is correct in picking up her baby when they cry, as the baby needs the affection to feel safe, secure and happy. Moms don't make their babies dependent, they are born dependent on us for love and care.

At that young age you are not "enforcing discipline" you are breaking trust and making the child feel doubt in your ability to love and care for them, therefore leading to more stress and possibly more crying in the infant.

Remember that it is not possible to "spoil" an infant. They NEED that love and affection. They NEED to be soothed and comforted to grow and develop. And these are the facts.  

Answer 17

nope part of my job as a parent is to comfort my child!!! especially a 6 month old!

Answer 18

Well I am a big sister and I watch my step-moms babies all the time. And sometimes when there a little bit older and just fusing cause, there shouldn't be a reason for them to be on your lap all the time, or else they will become extremely spoiled. That is how my niece is. Like today when I was watching my two sisters my sister Shianne is 8 months and woke up from her nap, whining a little, and I let her lay there cause she didn't sleep for long and she went back to bed. Sometimes  the whine could be worth the listening to, too prevent you always holding them and total sense of "I can get whatever I want" when there older.

goodluck.

:D

Answer 19

i started letting my daughter cry for about 10 minutes at about 3 months and i extended the time the older she got. she is now 10 months and will play in her crib for about 20 minutes when she wakes up or for like 10 minutes before she actually falls asleep. i never have to put her in bed with me or rock her to sleep.  and she barely cries anymore. i know a lot of people dont like the idea but i think it is good for independance.

Answer 20

http://www.naturalchild.org/tine_theveni...

When our children develop a "good" habit, one that suits us, we are afraid it is not going to last. But when our children develop a "bad" habit, one that does not suit us, we are afraid it is going to last forever. So many people are afraid that their children will not grow up. We are told to feed them solids with a spoon at three weeks of age, lest babies will never learn to eat solids, let alone with a spoon. We are told to toilet train them when they are one year old or they will never quit wearing diapers. We are told to begin to discipline them at one month, otherwise they will never listen to us. We are told that children must always sleep in their own bed or they will always want to sleep with us. It is commonly believed that babies need to be weaned by the mother. And yet when weaning is left totally up to the child, it happens in a natural, healthy, and relaxed way. At the time the child no longer needs direct physical contact with his mother, then he weans himself from the breast. Likewise, parents' experiences indicate that the healthy child will wean himself in time from the parental bed.

Children should be given the credit that, provided the home environment is healthy, they will mature. As each need is fulfilled at each stage, they will move on and become more mature. (We did. Let's hope.)

It will be found that one phase passes into another, and another, and another. Please trust that in a sound surrounding the child will graduate from each stage of development.

I remember carrying my first infant throughout the day. Then she began to crawl and I no longer needed to hold her so frequently. I remember nursing her fifteen times a day. Now she is weaned and eats and drinks what we eat and drink. I used to take her with me wherever I went. And if I could not take her I stayed home. (Except if she was asleep.) She was happiest with this arrangement. Then when she was about three years old, she took another step toward independence-, she looked forward to the occasional babysitter to read her a bedtime story and put her to bed.

A child who has his needs fulfilled will become an independent, secure person. But independence cannot be forced upon someone.7 It takes time and growing at the individual's own pace. The more secure he is in the knowledge that he can always come back to his parents, the more independent he will become. We will only create problems if we regard his needing us at night as a problem which should be "cured."